You may be able to speak in 9 or 10 languages, but if you don't know basic communication skills, then what's the point?

你可能會說 9 或 10 種語言，但如果你不知道基本的溝通技巧，那有什麼意義？

So, this is why, maybe in the near future, I'm gonna be, um, sharing more videos about communication tips and all of that.

所以或許在不久的將來，我會分享更多與溝通技巧、訣竅相關的影片。

If you guys like it, please let me know in the comments or with the like button so that I know that I can make more videos like this.

如果大家喜歡這種內容，請留言或點讚讓我知道，這樣我就可以製作更多這類的影片。

And one important component of communicating, especially with strangers, is small talks.

溝通一個很重要的成份在於閒聊，尤其跟陌生人更是如此。

So, before you turn off the video because you just hate small talks, especially if you're introverts, think about it:

在你因為自己是內向者或是很討厭閒聊而關掉影片前，先想想：

You cannot really get into deep conversations with someone without going through the small talk first.

你如果不先進行閒聊，就沒辦法真正地跟某個人有深入對話。

So, let's get into it.

那我們開始吧。

1. Icebreakers

1. 破冰語句

One, I usually start with an icebreaker.

第一，我通常會用破冰語句展開對話。

So, icebreakers could be anything.

破冰語句可能是任何東西。

It could be compliments, it could be a common ground, it could be a joke or anything like that.

可能是稱讚、共同點、笑話，諸如此類的東西。

So, just whatever it is that you want.

你想要的任何主題都可以。

For me, personally, I would not break the ice with introducing myself because it's like...

我個人不會用自我介紹破冰，因為那就像⋯⋯

Imagine coming up to a stranger and just let them know, "Hi! I'm Naila".

想像你走到一個陌生人面前，直接跟他說：「嗨！我是 Naila。」

I mean, it works for some people, but for me, I just don't really do that.

我是說，這對某些人有用，但我就是不太會那麼做。

So, my favorite icebreaker to do is to come up with a common ground.

所以我最喜歡的破冰方式是想到一個共同點。

So, to make an instant connection with strangers, with people you just met⏤you want to start with something in common between you both.

所以說，要跟陌生人或剛遇到的人有立即的連結，你會想要用兩人的共同點做起頭。

So, let's say you are at a networking event or a seminar, what is the one thing that you both have in common?

假設你正參加一場社交活動或研討會，你們倆所擁有的一個共同點是什麼？

Well, both of you are right there attending the event.

嗯，你們兩個人都在現場參加活動。

So, that's what you would have in common; that's what you can start with.

所以這就是你們的共同點，你可以從那裡開始。

So, some phrases that you can say would be:

所以你可以用的一些語句包括：

"Wow, the speaker was really funny, don't you think?"

「哇，這講者真的很有趣，你不覺得嗎？」

"Wow, that was the first time that I learned about X and X; what did you think?"

「哇，那是我第一次學習到關於 X 和 X 的是，你的感想如何？」

Those are some questions that you can ask, but you can also state some observations.

那些是你可以問的一些問題，但你也可以表達你觀察到的事情。

"Wow, the room is a little cold; do you feel that?"

「哇，這房間有點冷，你感覺到了嗎？」

"Wow, the decoration of this venue is just amazing."

「哇，這個場地的佈置真是令人驚歎。」

"Ugh! Everybody here is dressed so casually or so formally; I feel underdressed or overdressed."

「呃！這裡每個人都穿得好隨意/正式，我覺得穿得太過簡便/隆重。」

And, um maybe someone next to you would also relate to this kind of, um, difficulty, you know?

然後或許你隔壁的人會對這種問題感到共鳴，你了解嗎？

So, find a common ground because that is the easiest way for people to feel connected to you.

所以說，找到一個共同點吧，因為那是讓他人感到與你有連結的最簡易方法。

(2. Asking Questions) Then, I usually proceed to asking questions.

(2. 問問題) 然後我通常會以問題延續。

So, when I ask questions, I make sure that I ask open-ended questions instead of closed questions.

當我發問時，會確保我的問題是開放式，而不是封閉式的。

So, close questions are the ones that would end with "yes" and, um, or "no".

封閉式問題是那些以「是 」或 「不是 」結束的問題。

It's like, "Is this is your first time here?" "Yes."

例如：「這是你第一次來這裡嗎？」「是的。」

I mean those are⏤it's actually a good question to ask, "Is this your first time here?"

我覺得這些是——實際上，「這是你第一次來這裡嗎？」是一個很好的問題。

But, normally, I like to ask questions that could lead to, like, longer conversations.

但在正常狀況下，我喜歡問那些能夠展開較長對話的問題。

Like, "Oh, what brought you here?"

像是「哦，你為什麼會來這裡？」

"How did you find this event?"

「你是如何得知這個活動的？」

"So, how long have you been in this industry?" In design and finance and education⏤whatever.

「那麼，你在這個行業多久了？」可以是設計業、金融業、教育業，什麼都可以。

"What did you think about the presentation? He was a little dull, don't you think?"

「你對演講有什麼看法？他有點沉悶，你不覺得嗎？」

"She was very funny; what do you think about that?"

「她非常有趣，你怎麼看？」

So, stuff like that.

諸如此類的東西。

But one thing to note is that I make sure not to ask too many questions because some people do get, um, a little annoyed by that.

但一件需要注意的事情是，我會確保自己不問太多問題，因為有些人的確會因而感到煩躁。

I have personally experienced it; when people ask so many questions, I'm like, "Just leave me alone."

我曾經親身經歷，當人們問太多問題時，我會心想：「不要煩我」。

So, what I recommend you doing is that I would, let's say, ask three questions, four questions, max.

所以我建議的做法是，最多想好三到四個問題。

And if I see⏤if I can read their body language and they're just not interested in talking to me, they don't ask me questions back,

如果我看到——如果我讀懂對方的肢體語言，他們就是沒興趣跟我講話、不會反問我問題，

then, I just cut the conversation there.

那我就會當下終止對話。

So, learn to read the room and learn to read body language of people; learn to feel it.

所以說，要學習讀懂空間氣氛以及人們的肢體語言，學會感受它。

3. Compliments

3. 稱讚

Third, I also like to add sprinkles of compliments.

第三，我也喜歡以讚美作為點綴。

So, I... I mentioned compliments a little earlier to use as ice breakers⏤that's actually really good.

我稍早提到了利用讚美當作破冰工具，那其實是非常好用的。

But also make a note that, when you give compliments to someone, make it genuine.

但也要注意，當你讚美某人時，絕對要真誠。

Don't compliment to kiss ass; just compliment [on] things that you genuinely like about them.

不要為了拍馬屁而稱讚，而是針對你真心喜歡對方的部分給予讚美。

Like, let's say if it was a language exchange where you both are practicing your language skills or English or something,

舉例來說，如果是在進行語言交換，你們兩人都在練習語言技巧或是英文之類的，

tell them, "Wow! your French sounds really good!"

可以告訴對方：「哇！你的法文真的很好聽！」

"Wow, your English⏤I love your accent! How did you learn that?"

「哇，你的英語——我好喜歡你的口音！你是怎麼學會的？」

"Wow, you sound so confident!"

「哇，你聽起來好有自信！」

Or maybe you can also throw them some compliments about, you know, like, more surface-level things, like,

或許你也可以針對一些較表面的特點拋出讚美言詞。

"Wow, your hair is so pretty!"

「哇，你的頭髮真漂亮！」

"I love your outfit!"

「我好喜歡你的衣服！」

Like, "Nice shoes! You have a good taste."

還有 「鞋真好看！你好有品味。」

So, these things, kind of, like, stroke people's egos and then that they, um⏤that lowers their defenses.

這些東西都會滿足人們的虛榮心，那他們就會卸下防衛。

But don't overdo the compliments.

但不要過度讚美了。

If you give, like, one or two compliments, it's, um, it's enough.

如果你可以給一、兩個讚美就足夠了。

More than that, it's just a bit like, "Okay, what does she want?"

超過那個數字就會讓對方覺得：「好，她有什麼居心？」

And then, after I have a little bit of conversation,

接著，在我進行一小段對話後，

(4. Introduce Myself) that's when I will introduce myself.

(4. 自我介紹) 我就會進行自我介紹。

Because I only introduce myself if I know that, "Okay, this person is cool; I think I would like to talk a little bit more with her or with him then."

因為我自我介紹的前提時，我心裡知道：「好，這人沒問題，我覺得我想多跟他/她聊一點。」

So, I'm gonna tell them my name.

所以我會告訴對方我的名字。

"I am Naila, by the way; what about you?"

「對了，我是 Naila，你呢？」

Then you have all of these questions, "Oh, where are you from?"

接著就有一系列問題可問：「噢，你是哪裡人？」

Like, "Oh, do you live here? How long have you lived here?"⏤this and that.

還有「喔，你住在這裡嗎？你在這裡住多久了？」之類的問題。

So, a lot of the basic introductory questions, that's when I would throw them all here.

我都會在這個時候丟出很多基本的介紹性質問題。

(5. Listening Skills) The last but not least is listening skills.

(5. 傾聽技巧) 最後也同樣重要的是傾聽的技巧。

This is by far the most underrated but the most important skill to have when you're communicating.

這個在溝通時，最不被看重但卻是最重要的技巧。

To be a good communicator, you have to learn how to listen.

要成為一個好的溝通者，你必須學會如何傾聽。

One of my biggest pet peeves whenever I meet new people or just in a group of people and we're having a conversation are people who don't listen.

我最討厭的事情之一是，當我認識朋友或是跟一群人聊天時，出現不聽人說話的人。

I have very little tolerance for people who just don't value what I have to say.

對於那些不重視我的話的人，我沒有太多的容忍度。

And normally, when I can read that they're not listening to me, that's when I just cut the conversation short and leave them.

一般來說，當我可以感受到對方沒在聽我說話，那我就會縮短對話並離開對方。

I would consider good listeners to be people who show interest in what I have to say.

我認為好的聽眾是那些對我所說內容表現出興趣的人。

For people who ask questions, people who validate my point, people who show empathy, people who maintain eye contact.

還有那些會問問題、認同我論點、顯示同理心、維持眼神交流的人。

So, when you are talking and then people ask you questions, it mean⏤it means that they're listening to you; they want to know a little bit more.

若有人在你講話時問你問題，那就表示對方有聽你說話，而且想多了解一點。

And people who show validation and empathy⏤it means that they understand your point; they have been where you've been before.

人們表現出認同感或同理心就意味著對方了解你的論點，並且跟你有過相同經歷。

And maintain eye contact⏤of course, this differs across cultures⏤

維持眼神交流這個部分，當然會因文化而異，

But, normally, whenever I speak with someone and I can see that their eyes are wandering around; they're looking at the ceiling or they're kind of, like, looking at people going round around,

但在正常狀況下，當我跟一個人對話，可以看見對方四處張望、可能是盯著天花板或看著來來去去的人時，

that's when it gives me the idea that this person isn't one hundred percent listening to me, and that's when I also will cut the conversation short.

那就會跟我一個印象，這個人並未全神專注聽我說話，我就會在那時縮短並結束對話。

So, definitely build those listening skills⏤I think this is something that I would like to talk about in the future videos.

所以說，務必要訓練聆聽技巧，我覺得這是我想要在未來的影片中多加著墨的地方。

Let me know if you want to hear them from me and⏤yeah, that is it, actually.

讓我知道你是否想聽我聊這些，嗯，就是這樣了。

Thank you so much, guys, for listening in today's video.

非常感謝大家收聽今天的影片內容。

I will see you next week in another, and until then, have a good day and bye-bye.

我會在下週另一部影片中再次跟大家見面，在那之前，祝各位一天安好，掰掰。