So this one has been a long time in the making as many of you know, I've been married to my japanese wife, Michael for over 3.5 years now in Japan during this time.

I've learned first hand quite a bit about what Japanese women culturally expect when living with a foreign husband like me from the U.

S.

So I wanted to share with you some hopefully useful points.

And to be fair today's examples of cultural relationship issues are not just from Michael and I some points I learned from my married foreign male friends with Japanese wives or my Japanese wife friends with their foreign husbands over many years living in Japan.

This is a list of cultural relationship issues that without compromise have created many fights, ongoing arguments, resentment and even hate leading some married couples into divorce.

Like many lists though, these are generalizations and not every Japanese woman or foreign man is like this.

But if you're planning to get married in Japan, these are some things you might want to be aware of.

So you don't end up hating your partner.

Also, I should say that this list can be applied if you're a foreign female with a Japanese husband.

Finally, if you're already married in Japan, let me know how these points sit with you and if I missed any, oh and before I start, if you want help with the channel, then definitely check out the merch store Tokyo zebra dot com for its last merch.

We have new designs in the shop.

All right, let's get started with a list number one forced to sit down while you pee.

Yeah, we're getting into the stream of things with this one.

But let me be absolutely clear, Michael doesn't force me to sit down while I pee at home.

This one is actually from one of my friends.

So here's the scenario.

Initially, my friend was asked to sit down while he peed by his japanese wife.

But after some negotiating, he was eventually able to, you know, stand up for himself at home.

But when he visits his wife's fam place, he definitely needs to pee sitting down as a sign of respect.

He may have been a lucky one though because in fact about 50% of japanese males today reported the pee sitting down at home to japanese, It's mainly a cleanliness issue.

Less flash means you know less cleaning.

So there you go.

If you're ever with a japanese partner, you may come across this one.

I don't know what do you guys think when you stand up for yourself on this one, Number two can't use A C while sleeping despite Japan's hot and humid summers and freezing winters.

Turn on the A.

C.

May be considered fighting words in some foreign japanese households as it inevitably leaves one party uncomfortable all throughout the night.

See many Japanese have grown up used to Japan's extreme seasonal climate preferring to sleep in the natural air environment without ever using air conditioning in the summer.

Since many traditional japanese homes were designed with natural open air circulation in mind and in the winter, Japanese developed extremely warm tones and blankets so they could keep their body warm even in nearly freezing room temperatures.

Without the need for a See the problem with many foreigners though is that they're not used to this environment and can simply argue that they can't be more tired than not sleeping at all because their entire body is dripping from sweat from the humidity or freezing from the cold air.

So yeah, along with many international couples, this is something that Michael and I can relate to because we go back and forth on it as well.

But these days in our current apartment we reach more or less a compromise on in the summer and off in the winter, fortunately due to our newer style concrete apartment building in Tokyo A.

C.

Is turned on in the summer because it's also too hot for me go to sleep without the A.

C.

And in the winter the room itself doesn't get extremely cold so I'm able to make it through the night with a hoodie and beanie.

But yeah, I prefer to be able to sleep in just a shirt number three, the rice must always be fluffed.

I don't know if a couple will get divorced over this one, but if you are eating a lot of rice at home, which is common in japan, this one will definitely annoy a japanese wife on the regular C the japanese from when they start eating rice, as little toddlers are taught that rice knows you made fluffy and airy when eating so newly cooked rice in the pot looks like this kind of flat and compressed.

Some westerners think that if you're to take a scoop of rice out yourself, you leave the rest of it just like this brand new for the next person wrong in japan, you're supposed to mix it like this and make it flow for the next person.

Japanese argue that it tastes way better when each grain is aired out as such.

On the other hand, I've seen firsthand, even at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant in the States, a bowl of rice being packed down before serving it to customers maybe to maximize the portion of rice being served any way you want to piss off your japanese wife than packing a rice tightly before serving a tour.

See what happens number four, you must take a bath before going to bed.

Now.

A lot of you have seen my day in the life videos and some of you have commented, why do japanese take a bath at night instead of the morning?

Well, it's all about cleanliness simply for many japanese women, you're not getting into bed with them without taking a bath beds are considered a clean environment in japan, many japanese don't want to sleep with someone who has been sweating outside all day or has wax in their hair.

Let let alone have someone enter their bed with clothes from outside mixed with dust, dirt, bacteria and wherever random place they sat on.

It's the same concept with leaving your shoes at the door in Japan not track in whatever you stepped on outside just to a higher level of cleanliness.

I even know one Japanese wife that's taking it to the extreme where you have to change even when entering the home to say a clean living room attire.

So this could be a big one.

If you can't reach a compromise quickly then the relationship may be a nonstarter and if you do compromise early in the relationship, but later on stop doing it, then there could be a chance someone might start hating you.

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The bath must be washed every time before using it.

This one kind of piggybacks off the previous point.

But yeah, cleanliness is the utmost importance in many japanese homes.

A lot of japanese don't want to get into a bath that hasn't already been washed as it feels gross to them like bathing in a pool of bacteria personally, I've had to deal with this one.

I'm not a bad person and prefer showers, but my wife and son are all about that bath life as all things in our marriage though, Michael and I share the load.

So although I don't even use the bath, I wash it every day for them before they use it.

If you haven't realized the theme of this video yet, it's compromised.

Otherwise you might end up hating being married in Japan number six, forced to throw away frozen meat after two weeks.

So this one.

Also I experienced first hand see it's common in japan to throw away meat that you've frozen yourself after two weeks, such as ground beef or ground pork.

Now as someone from the U.

S.

I'm used to meet lasting up to 12 months in the freezer, but in japan things like frozen fish and frozen chicken is said to be good for up to only one month and sticks only between 1 to 2 months.

Apparently in japan food is intended to be eaten as fresh as possible without any loss in taste or quality.

And obviously safety trumps all of this.

That said there are frozen items that are professionally packed in japan that can last longer.

But yeah, when packing frozen meats yourself in this country, your partner may force you to throw away frozen meats as that's what's commonly done.

This one I've just kind of gone along with as my wife does most of the cooking basically these days we just keep it simple by smaller amounts that can be eaten within a few days.

Number seven don't use a clothes dryer believe it or not.

Even in this day and age japanese people still prefer drying their clothes by hanging them to dry it in a drying machine like this.

So much so that 88% of the japanese population hang dry their wash clothes either inside or outside.

It's so much part of japanese culture that clothes hanging features are still built into newer homes, Japanese believe that it's gentler on the clothes reduces wrinkles, limit shrinking and when hanging outside in the sunlight acts as a disinfectant.

Plus overall it's cheaper for me though.

I'm personally into the convenience of these drum washers and dryers in Japan that do everything in one continuous cycle and although my wife Michael grew up in a home where they hung their clothes, she was happy to join me in the dryer life.

In fact, she just made some slight adjustments.

Like she started buying clothes that were slightly bigger to account for the dryer shrink.

You just saved so much time with these machines, you put in your dirty clothes and they come out hot clean and dry.

So maybe for this one, even though your Japanese wife has never used one of these dryer machines in their house.

If you introduce it to her that she might be likely to use it because it's just so convenient.

On the other hand, my foreign fan who also owns a washer and dryer system like this had to abandon the dry feature as soon as he got married to a Japanese wife as she definitely preferred to hang all of their clothes.

So yeah, each couple has a different threshold for what's acceptable for them and number eight, get your bowls right.

So yeah, this one personally caught me off guard as I really didn't even know it was a thing until my wife pointed it out and it's less of an, I hate you scenario.

But why did you do that kind of thing in Japan?

Probably in some other countries as well.

Each bowl has a specific purpose.

Rice bowls for rice, miso soup bowls for miso soup and so on.

Apparently putting my salsa in the rice bowl or using the miso soup bowl for my rice is a bit of a no, no in Japan.

To be fair though, typical japanese meals have miso soup and rice.

So if you do use these bowls for another purpose, it could mess up the table arrangement.

So yeah, this one definitely annoys Michael, but I make the mistake all the time.

So, so she just lives with it.

But depending on who you marry, this could be more or less a forgivable offense.

Fun fact.

Did you know that rice balls in japan are not equal.

Japanese actually have rice balls called mayo Toja.

One husband and wife rice bowls where the man's bowl is bigger and like my man biggie once said, if you don't know now, you know, I hope this video helps you and some of the cultural compromises you may need to be aware of if you decide to marry a Japanese person at the end of the day.

It really depends on the person if they care about these such things.

But knowing some of these points may help you guys avoid hating each other in the future.

That said, if you guys like this video helped me out and hit that like button.

If you guys want to see more videos like this or anything related to Japan, hit that subscribe button and the button, I'll catch you guys in the next one.