I don't usually film videos with like the front camera and like I don't know, just randomly like this, like it's never this is kind of like an update and I feel like I'm gonna be doing a lot of these, this first trimester because let's be honest like this is very mentally and physically taxing on my body.

Not everybody's pregnancy is the same.

Some people I'm really grateful because I, you know, I'm not like actually like vomiting like some of my pregnant friends right now and it's just been really overwhelming trying to get in with this system and like understand the protocols here and it's definitely overwhelming because I am foreign and um my husband can't come into the hospital even with me to my appointments um and but in fact the other day the doctor said if he comes in the evening around closing time then um it's totally fine if he comes to my appointments, which was, it's a relief to hear my doctor is super nice and everybody is still caring there.

We chose a private hospital to give birth because they take really good care of you.

It's a very cozy hospital, very european looking very homey, it's very popular, the doctor is very popular and very good at what he does and um I did a lot of research here and asked a lot of people their experiences and they've had nothing but good experiences and good things to say about this place, so I'm really grateful for it, but you know like this is my first pregnancy and so I honestly, like I didn't expect, I kept thinking like I would be, it would be a very easy first trimester for me because I have a pretty strong stomach since a few years ago when I had a lot of gut issues and things like that, I have a lot of strength in my gut now, so I was like, oh I'm gonna be fine, I'm not gonna be woozy or nauseous, but no, like I have so many food aversions, I have been sitting on the couch most days.

I'm very first of all, I'm very grateful that I can stay home um because I got sick a lot when I was working with kids and with Covid, it's very dangerous.

I'm very high risk because of my asthma, my severe asthma and that scares me a lot.

So I'm sacrificing a lot of social time with people and friends because I don't want to get it.

Two of my pregnant friends have gotten Covid and that scares me because so far they're not doing very well.

Um and that can be very dangerous for the baby.

Um So I'm taking it very slow and kind of self isolating for the next seven months.

Um that sounds really sad, but I am still trying to get out and do things alone and with my husband because I know that he's fine and I'm really grateful that my husband can stay home and work and things like that and um you know, I've been so motivated to create and make videos and I have more time now before the baby comes.

So I was just like I'm gonna dish out all these videos these next few weeks and just really document and I have been documenting, I just haven't been editing because whenever I sit up I just want to throw up and whenever I feel like it's getting better it gets worse.

And so I've been battling a lot of depression with that because I've been just kind of battling with myself like why am I just being lazy all day today?

I need to do something, I need to hustle, I need to go because that's just who I am.

I'm just very, I like to do things and I like to accomplish things and um I haven't been able to and you know like there's a lot of responsibilities that have been neglected.

I keep having to worry about responding to family and friends on social media and um not to take that personally, but I just don't want to look at my phone, I don't want to answer people and it's not because of anxiety or depression, it's just, I have this craving to just be just be just exist and just dial down a bit and unplug a bit, might be a little bit slower with videos coming out just because I'm trying to listen to my body and I'm trying to just get more sleep because I haven't been sleeping really well and I think it's because I have a hard time unplugging at night.

Um So I need to get into a better routine of like shutting off.

I usually go to bed way earlier and earlier now it's like nine or 10, I fall asleep and that's very unheard of for me and usually in bed at 11 30 or 12 sometimes one.

Um And that's very new for me so to kind of shut off like at least an hour before like eight p.m. That's what's going to be good for me but I keep getting so many messages and so many like things popping up my phone and well yeah you can kind of turn those notifications off.

I just have this like anxiety in the back of my mind of like okay I need to like responding to answer and it's just it's not really healthy because it's causing me a lot of like stress, like unnecessary stress and my doctor said you really need to take care of your nervous system and since I've been out of routine for so long I used to like wake up eat a healthy breakfast, I used to do a little impact workout in the morning.

Um I used to have so much energy and it's just gone and I know it's just the first trimester.

Hopefully fingers crossed.

Second trimester is a lot easier.

I just wanted to like share these things because I haven't been able to talk to you guys um in a while and it does take time to really edit the way that I do um but I do want to like update you on what's happening at first, like I was just kind of like been on a shape because my husband couldn't be in the hospital to see the baby and like all these things, luckily I can speak japanese, so it's been a lot easier for me than some of the other foreigners in there.

They do have people that speak english, like some of the nurses, but some of them aren't available right now my doctor can speak some english, so that's been a little bit easier and I really take medical stuff very seriously, especially when you're pregnant, it's exhausting trying to translate things and like speak japanese and speak another language when you're tired and so sick and just overwhelmed and trying to understand the medical terms because there's a lot of medical terms that I don't know.

Um but luckily I've been able to get through it a lot smoother than some of the other foreigners in there because I remember there was this one girl and I think she was pretty upset because first of all, her husband couldn't come in and she learned that she looked like she was just like newly pregnant um and she couldn't communicate at all, so I did help her out um but you know, I never have to use like a translating app, which I'm very proud of, but it is very tiring when you have to really focus on like what people are saying and things like that, so, but we chose this hospital because it is very good and they are very patient and understanding and they make sure that I do understand and they do have some information in english and and all that stuff, so I just want to make sure it's very smooth and it's very um just everything goes really well, but that's the one thing that I'm very grateful for is that I can speak and understand japanese pretty well, so I never really needed my husband for the appointments he had did have to come one time because the doctor wanted to make sure that I got all the information just in case I had something called gestational diabetes, um they would have had to go through like a bunch of different protocols and like help me understand like what I need to do for that, but luckily I don't have that they tested me so early, I don't know why, but I'm really glad that they're overly cautious about these things past 10 weeks and like 10.5 weeks now and baby is super healthy.

We saw our little child yesterday, which was amazing and it's funny because before it looked like a little chicken nugget and now it looks like a human has a big head, it has arms and legs and everything, and I'm just like, oh my God, I can't believe that's inside of me.

We got to actually hear the heartbeat, there was a time where we saw the heartbeat and we could see little sound waves, but this time we got to hear it, which was super cool, have just been watching my favorite tv shows, watching movies, um playing some games, reading, doing those types of things, and I'm just not used to that because I'm like, wow, I'm so lazy, like, why don't I just get up and do something and I pushed myself and I'm exhausted.

I actually went out to meet a friend the other day and um I just, my energy level just dipped so fast and um it was such an enjoyable lunch.

I'm so glad I got to see my friend because she's leaving Japan, but like, halfway through, I was just like, I do not feel good, I was trying not to throw up on the bus when I was going to where I needed to meet her and I was just like, this is awful, like, it's just a forever, like, I don't want to say sickness.

I say it a lot, but it's not a sickness, I'm just pregnant and this is the part, this is part of pregnancy and it's so beautiful and so horrible at the same time.

Yeah, like I don't crave any sweets.

I want to vomit when I look at a donut.

Like I cannot eat that.

So I'm really grateful for that.

But I do want to eat a lot of, again, mexican food and like just like carbs and things like that.

So I have to be very careful with my diet.

It's been really hard with the food aversions to cook.

Like the smell of things is really strong when we do the ultrasounds, it's so quick.

So I haven't been able to um just like film or like pull out my phone and there's just a lot of people like nurses in there and stuff like that and just like, I don't, I don't want to like infringe on anybody's privacy.

Um but I'm sure you guys have seen people get ultrasounds before youtube and things like that.

I just wanted to kind of like post something because I was just like, I really want to like share this journey as best as I can.

I promise you the next video will be more edited.

It's more of my journey and when I'm like um you know, eating what I bought and I herb and like our plans and all that stuff and I do want to talk about the differences of being pregnant here versus the States because I have friends who are pregnant in the States right now to just wanna, I just wanna keep updating.

I still want to keep posting, I want to look back on this and be like yeah I remember that you know, so this is like super unprofessional but um I do promise some really great video my husband and I are going on a little bit of a romantic trip in Yamanashi away from the city.

So that'll be really nice and relaxing, I'll be filming that for sure because I wouldn't remember these things um but I'm sure the second trimester will be better but until I get into a routine again and I refresh myself and um just kind of get my thoughts together because I didn't allow myself to do that and then I'll start posting again and what I mean by that, it's probably gonna be like a week later when I post, I'm just skipping a week so I can just get my stuff in order.

But this is like this is tough, like it's it's a lot more tough than I really imagined but it's all worth it in the end.

So anyway, if you guys watch this entire thing, thank you so much um and I'll be still posting on my instagram and things like that but just dialing it down a little bit so I can like get myself in order again.