This is a personal choice that I made to document this first trimester.

It's a very vulnerable time, especially if you're a content creator and you're posting things online and telling your friends and telling your family.

I told my family right away why.

Hello, everyone from the past.

I don't have all my makeup on, but that's fine.

But I really wanted to discuss some things on here because there's this unspoken rule in pregnancy and everything like that, especially if you're a content creator and you're posting things online and telling your friends and telling your family.

I told my family right away why?

Because I felt ready to tell them when you live abroad.

It's a very different journey.

It's a very lonely journey because you don't have family here.

You don't have close friends here.

So I wanted my family to know right away egg exactly what was going on with me.

So they could go on this journey with me together because the first trimester is the hardest one of the hardest trimesters.

I'm sure trimester is pretty hard to, but I think mentally the first trimester is pretty difficult.

You have a lot of fears, you have a lot of worries.

There's potential for miscarriage.

There's potential for complications in the very beginning.

But the truth is, there is potential for all of these things throughout the entire pregnancy and being aware of that is really important.

I searched and searched on social media and I haven't found anyone who was documenting this real time.

It was always like this is what happened during my first trimester.

I'm now 13 weeks pregnant and I feel brave enough and I I want to put this out there because there's a lot of women that are going through this, they're having their first child and they're going through these changes in their body.

I know I'm going through these changes and I have no idea what to expect.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling, but I do want to share this and document this not only for other people, but for myself to look back on in the future.

I believe that this is a personal choice whether you tell your family, friends, other people, the internet.

This is a personal choice on someone during their journey and this is my journey and I want to share the ups and downs and I want to share the things that happen.

And the reason why people don't share it is because they have that fear of miscarriage.

And this is something that isn't talked about a lot miscarriage is quite common.

Um a lot of people think, oh that's so rare, that's never gonna happen.

But it can happen, complications can happen, but that should never, and I believe 100% that that should never ever take away, that fear should never overcome you and take away from the excitement that's happening in the current moment in the present moment because what you feed your mind, you feed your body and what you feed your body and your mind feed your baby and I think it's really unhealthy to always think of the worst case scenario and stay there and be there.

I learned from a monk here in Japan a few years ago.

Sit with those emotions when they come out.

That fear, that doubt that anger, that sadness, acknowledge.

Those emotions know that they are there and know that they are not bad and that they are human emotions and part of the human experience, but do not sit with them and serve them tea.

I do not sit with my fears and serve at t.

I do not have conversations with my fears.

I acknowledge it, I'm gentle with it.

I'm compassionate to myself during these vulnerable moments.

And I know I sound like I'm like yelling, I'm not I'm just very passionate about this.

But if there's anything that I learned through this journey, this inner journey, it's to acknowledge and feel your emotions, I never tell people, never feel doubt, never feel fear.

You shouldn't feel this way that way.

Negative emotions are bad.

I would never tell anybody that ever because in order to purge those emotions, you need to feel the emotions and then let them go.

It's all about resilience, it's about knowing the tools of awareness and bringing yourself back to center.

So the healthiest thing that I can do in this early, the early stages of pregnancy is to enjoy it because there are so many mothers that had told me when I first, not that I was pregnant because I have a lot of friends that have our mothers or have been pregnant before.

I have a lot of nurses amongst my friends and my family.

And they told me the one thing that they wish when they were pregnant was that they soaked up that first trimester and enjoyed those moments and we're excited because while it's true that something can happen, that doesn't mean it will, this isn't taking away from people who have had miscarriages or complications.

And there's a grieving process and it's valid your feelings through during that time is valid.

But all I can think about right now is now what's happening now?

I am safe in my own body.

My baby is safe.

Things are looking good.

I feel okay.

And to bring yourself back to those emotions and to meditate on those emotions is what's going to help my child grow.

Here's an example.

If you plant a seed, your plants going to grow faster and stronger and this is proven.

If you feed it good energy, your energy determines the life that's happening inside of you determines the outcome of the plant and the growth of the plant and the strength of the plant.

This is scientifically proven.

And so yes, I had those fears.

I have those doubts.

I worry, this is the first time I've been pregnant.

But I cannot let anything that happens in this journey?

Mean anything that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.

I'm doing anything wrong.

That my body isn't good enough.

I can't think of that because it hasn't happened.

There's so many people time leaping and staying there.

You cannot stay there.

So hopefully if there are women out there that are just having their first child and are worried or any women out there that are having their second or third child, this is something that you really need to be to train your mind for two.

It's not just about the physical things, it's not just about eating a salad and a smoothie or whatever.

It's about feeding your mind good things and understanding that those bad feelings and emotions will come up along the way and know that that's a human human feeling.

Human emotion, that's part of the human process.

And you need to embrace that and be gentle to that emotion and not stay there with it and invite it in and let it consume you.

I feel like this is partly me reassuring.

Those mothers out there that are in their first trimester.

That paranoia.

That fear is never going to go away throughout the entire pregnancy because your maternal instincts kick in.

It's it's almost like you go from all the stresses and problems and other things in your life, your business, your career, whatever, to protect the child at all costs.

And so how am I going to feed it?

Not just physically, but mentally as well and how am I going to be gentle and kind to myself when those fears do come up, it's a maternal instinct.

You're always going to be worried about your child even when it's born.

So the only thing that I can do is use the tools that I've learned through my life journey to bring myself back to center and train myself and rewire my brain so that I can give my baby good energy even when it's out outside the womb.

This is a personal choice that I made to document this first trimester.

It's a very vulnerable time.

I think it's going to help a lot of people, no matter what happens.

I hope that you'll come with me on this journey and week by week, I'll share updates and my feelings.

I know it's going to get harder from here.

The thing that I can do the most right now is to really strengthen my mind and know that right now everything is going as planned and being aware that those things can happen, those complications can happen.

But not to feed into them as if they're a reality right now.

This is how manifestation works right.

If you're constantly feeding that thought it affects your body, it affects your energy.

This is a lesson for everybody, not just for pregnant women, but for everybody is to really think of what's happening right now, I am safe right now, my body is healthy right now.

I'm working with a diet.

I have great doctors.

I believe in my body, I have affirmations and I think this is going to help a lot of people who are pregnant and that is I trust my body.

You have to tell yourself this every single morning.

I trust my body knows what it's doing.

I trust that it's feeding my child the right nutrition.

I know and believe that my body is strong enough to grow a human.

So, you have have to feed yourself these good affirmations every single morning and it does change you.

It does rewire your brain.

That's what affirmations are for people think that it's lying to yourself.

You're not lying to yourself because your brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality.

That's scientifically true.

And it's helped me a lot in my journey.

So, I know that there's a lot of people are like, oh, don't say anything and you should worry about this and you should be worried about that.

What's the point of worrying when nothing is happening, be aware and understand that those things are real and can happen, but think about what's happening now.

Cortisol is not good for this early stage of pregnancy.

So, all I can do is my best every single day.

But know that my feelings of fear and doubt are valid.

I love my emotions, negative and positive.

That's the ultimate self love is If you have compassion for whatever emotions come up in your body and know that in order to purge those emotions and let them go, you have to acknowledge them and show love to those to whatever you're feeling right now.

If you're a mother to be or it's your first trimester, I give you good vibes and be compassionate to yourself and your feelings.

That's why I decided to share early and I am giving myself permission and you should too to be excited and to be joyful in this moment right now, there's no point in me being anywhere else.

But now, but here, that's where I get my strength.

That's where I've been able to manifest everything in my life up until this day, I'm very lucky to have a life that I live today and I've been able to manifest amazing things into my life and that is how I did it.

And that is how you can to let me know below your experiences as well.

I think women are so incredible.

Growing a human is hard.

It's not an easy task.

Can't wait to see you guys in the next video.