Oh boy.

Let me tell you about my ex wife, my ex wife wanted to be an actress but I tell you she's so ugly.

She couldn't even get a part in a hot dog man this is so exciting.

I've been dying to come to this comedy club.

Yeah, me too.

Whoa.

Midget apple, that's little Apple.

What are you doing back there?

I'm trying to watch the show but you're blocking my view.

Maybe that's why they call it stand up.

She's stupid too.

You want to know how stupid she thought a sirloin was a knight.

Was that supposed to be funny?

Just give him a chance.

Okay.

Oh is she a lousy driver?

Just last week.

She?

T boned my car.

I don't know why we had to come to this place to laugh.

I'm way funnier than this meatball.

Hey do not dip zip the lip.

Hey dude, are you make me laugh, knock it off now he's gonna pick on us.

Alright, looks like we got another comedian here folks.

What's your name?

Huh bozo.

I'm not a bozo.

I'm an orange.

Well thanks a lot.

Captain, obvious.

No problem.

Major meatball.

Oh so you want to see a joke?

Huh?

Quick.

Somebody get this guy a mirror.

Really?

That's all you got.

And what about your little buddy there?

That's little Apple.

Not you munchkin.

The other guy won't leave me out of this boy.

Does this guy need some exercise?

He's looking a little pear shaped dude.

I am a pair.

Yeah pair of jokers, wow.

Did you ever notice that meatballs are real ham burger.

orange?

You are so stupid.

You thought photosynthesis had something to do with a camera?

Yeah, well you're so dumb.

You tried to go fishing in a gravy boat.

Can we go home now?

What?

You guys don't want to leave already, do you?

Yes.

Why don't you make like a hockey stick and get the puck out of here?

But I'm totally winning this guy's dead meat, whatever.

Orange.

I'm the one reminding you down.

Hey, hey, meatball, what?

Hey, can I call you chuck?

Okay, Hey chuck.

Hey, hey chuck.

What do you want now?

Guess what?

What, spatula?

Talk about a patty cooper.

What's that?

I can't hear you.

Your delivery is a little flat ouch.

That looked like it hurt, jeez, All I wanted to do was laugh.

What a letdown I'll say.

I've been staring at oranges, but all night, poor meatball!

His show really got panned, I guess marty meatball was all sizzle and no steak.

Can you guys believe he had a beef with me?

Yeah, spatulas all like, can we have a cheeseburger Gabo proudly presents the comedy roast of the annoying orange.

Here's your host bud rose.

That's right.

Everybody just the way your mother made it.

It's great to be here tonight in the produce section.

Seriously?

There are a lot of vegetables here.

Then again it is, youtube.

Say what?

But this is so exciting.

Really?

When they told me to come down here and roast the annoying orange.

I was like, heck yes, I love snooki.

Seriously folks, The only thing worse than this gig was the time some guy shoved a thermometer up my room and speaking of pain in the butt.

Where's our honored guest?

Why?

I warned you not to sign that gag order?

Orange doesn't seem like himself tonight and I know what you're thinking, what an improvement.

You know, with Orange.

There's no in between either you think he's annoying or you hate his guts?

I don't have anything bad to say about orange.

His face says it all so we'll never forget the first time we met you Warren, although we keep trying.

Sometimes you say things that make me feel small and sometimes you say things that make me feel insecure.

I call those feelings the cold prickly dude, are you gonna tell a joke or what a joke?

I thought this was an intervention or just no arms and legs when he goes swimming.

I like to call him bob orange when you talk other people get horse just by listening.

If I had a nickel for every time the annoying orange annoyed me.

Well, I wouldn't need to find my pot of gold.

Now would I?

I still want to though you guys wanna hear my impression an orange and a little, something like that.

You know, Orange is the kind of fruit you can use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

You have a lot of well wishers here today.

Orange, yep.

A whole bunch of people that want to throw you down a well.

Orange is no dummy.

He didn't just fall off the turnip truck, nope.

The turnips pushed him.

Hey, is this thing on my check?

My check?

Hey, Orange Gilbert Gottfried called.

He wants his laugh back.

Not you moron.

Is that a spray tan?

Try using Coppertone, not orange glow.

If orange truly spoke his mind, he'd be speechless.

Orange is so annoying that what's that all about?

Uh You think your neon cat like if you do it long enough, you'll turn into a pop tart and fly through rainbows, marshmallow.

You're doing it wrong.

You are just so clumsy that any dance he does is considered break dancing.

Oranges like a christmas tie loud and useless.

Orange is so dumb.

Okay.

Like we say at the butcher shop, it's time to wrap it up.

Come on, I was just getting started, yep.

And now you're getting stopped short.

Mhm.

We've had our fun.

That's for sure.

But now it's time for our silent partner to take a stab.

Ducks taste like plastic.

What's the matter?

Orange?

Don't feel like chewing the fat.

I don't know.

It's just kind of nice that everyone could be here to celebrate our billion few, especially since most of them have already been killed, sliced or exploded.

I guess all I really want to say is thanks a lot.

Whoa.

Wait for the roast, aren't we?

I really do have an army of fans.

Oh that orange has a one track mind am I right?

Hey there.

Food lovers joke's on you.

You and I are showing you how to be a Canadian.

That's right now.

Step one is to get over your stage Fright comedians can't be afraid of their audience.

Well that's easy to sob.

Just pretend everyone's in there.

Look, pairs got rocket ships on his.

Hey, don't imagine me with rocketship underwear on.

Would you rather I imagine you naked the way you usually are.

Good point.

Okay, you can imagine me in underwear that sounds pretty tight to me now Step two for becoming a comedian, right?

Your comedy act.

This is possibly the hardest part and it takes hours and hours of thankless hard work too.

What you already wrote your entire act.

You got to be joking, nope, but I will be joking.

As soon as I start reading off these singers want to hear what I got sure this shouldn't take long.

I don't know about that.

What did the seamstress say to the yarn?

I don't know what can you believe?

Hair wears rocketship underwear brother.

Here's another, what did the Rocket ship say to the underpants, What we've really got pears but covered it goes on, you want to hear the rest, let's save it for the stage, which brings us to step three.

Practice practice practice your act.

That means finding open mics, which is where new comics are welcome to come get stage time, but don't worry finding an open mic is super easy.

In fact there's one right under their underwear.

I can't believe you actually said it more like rocketship underwear.

Am I right people?

I can't believe I fell for that.

So what's the deal with bears?

Rocketship underwear?

I've never seen a fashion decision.

So out of this world, which brings us to step three, Rewrite your act constantly.

Rewrite my act, but people love my underwear material.

They won't after they heard it a few times.

That's what makes being a comedian so hard.

You always need new stuff.

Okay, I think I know what you mean.

Now what's the deal with pairs?

Song?

What?

I'm not wearing a thong in my mind.

You are now you're wearing a hat and now you're wearing curls.

Now you're wearing no more imagining close on me, are you saying you want to go back to being naked?

Yes, I don't care.

Alrighty then what's the deal with bear being naked?

I'm telling you folks that's one bear pair.

Hey, would you look at that?

I'm on fire baby, whatever.

I don't care.

I made it to the end of the video in one piece.

That's all that matters.

Don't forget step four.

Remember the little people when you blow up.

Well that is true if you get famous as a comedian.

Always remember the people who helped you get there.

No, I mean remember the little people when you blow little apple get out from under there from underwear.

Now that's comedy people.

So I looked him in the eye and I said to him I says home slice, you are a real pizza work.

Yeah, hey that's my time.

Y'all have been great.

Now put your non existent hands together for our next comic and a good friend of mine, novelty coffee mug.

Hey thank you, thank you.

Great to be here.

Thanks a lot.

So what is the deal with their a little bit early on the rim shot there.

Orange didn't quite make it to my punchline.

Oh sorry I thought it was funny.

What you thought the setup to my joke was funny.

Yeah this guy's hilarious.

I appreciate that but let's wait for me to finish the joke.

Alrighty.

Was that a joke?

No, so I shouldn't do a rim shot right now.

No I got it.

Dude.

I said no, no you should not do a rim shot.

Oh I thought you meant no you should do a rim shot.

No worries though, you're doing great, keep going.

I'll do better anyway.

Like I was saying what's the deal with this weather we're having?

Right I've been so cloudy and rainy, it's making this espresso depressed, so sad.

Sad.

Coffee orange now would be a good time for that rim shot and when we discussed earlier but I didn't think it was funny.

I don't care if you, you're kind of ruining my set here Orange.

All part of the act folks.

Oh man, I'm so embarrassed boy is my mug red orange.

That wasn't even funny.

Really because the audience seemed to think so.

Oh, is that so?

If you think this is so easy, why don't you give it a try?

Okay.

Oh man, this stand up comedy stuff is easy.

Stop laughing at him.

This is funny.

Really?

Then why are you cracking up?

Uh, it looks like it's going to be permanent.