Here's your host award wanting anchorman perch Perkins.

Thank you.

I'm perch Perkins and here are tonight's top stories.

Citizens were horrified to witness to bikini bottom residents fighting bear over a can of paint and then a talking squirrel was seen rocketing back to texas in her own personal acorn ship.

Believe it or not, Lastly, our top story is bikini bottom haunted.

Local residents report ghostly encounters.

Yeah.

What's that?

Sorry, I'm getting word.

That was just my shadow.

And don't forget to vote in tonight's community poll.

Who's the most handsome man in bikini bottom.

The choices are larry, the lobster gary, the snail, the dirty bubble kevin sea cucumber lurch.

Larkin's handsome squid word.

Seaweed man and perch Perkins should be a tight race will give you the results at the end of the show.

But first news flesh, Our Flash, this sea stars head just exploded In the downtown store palace of pranks.

Our production team has obtained security footage of the incident Clean up on Aisle three.

This store has been selling unregulated pranks for years from whoopee cushions to exploding chewing gum and even fake vomit, wow, I can't believe it's not real vomit smells real.

Oh wait, that is real frank's got deal so good your head will explode.

His guarantee frank's palace of frank's open monday through saturday 10 AM to five PM.

Back to our first story to bikini bottom residents were spotted fighting in their birthday suits by the side of the road.

The perpetrators were identified as spongebob and patrick That was the last we saw of naked bob and nude star as they disappeared into thin air.

Sorry, we're renovating in other news.

Sandy cheeks.

Acorn rocket ship was seen flying and route to texas.

Sources have confirmed that her trip was unplanned.

An investigative team stopped by her tree dome for more clues and noticed her living room was filled with an assortment of framed portraits of Patrick star.

Is this just a coincidence or are these two bikini bottoms new power couple.

Let's take one more look at those framed photos of Patrick.

They say a picture is worth 1000 words, but there are no words to describe how uncomfortable I am, yikes!

Does miss cheeks disappearance have anything to do with our next story this week.

Ghosts have wreaked havoc in bikini bottom.

Let's take a look at some close encounters caught on camera.

Whoa, That's a personal project.

Stop tape, stop tape.

Roll the other tape.

Ghosts, huh?

God.

Local officials agree there is something off in bikini bottom.

It's time to take some callers perch, phone, scwill liam you're on the perch.

Phone, thoughts on the ghosts.

Actually I wanted to talk about squid word.

Okay, what would you like to say?

Not a big fan.

Right.

Next color, bubble bass.

I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft for the last time.

This is not the krusty Krab time for one more caller doodle bob.

You're on the perch phone.

What is going on today and now our second best reporter will join us for the lurch Report, bikini bottom second best reporter lurch.

Larkin's Hey lurch.

How's the family?

Well, they left new haircut perch, nope.

Okay, thanks perch.

I'm here with an exclusive interview with one of the bikini.

Bottom ghosts ghosts.

And there you have it perch.

This ghost is exercising his right to remain silent.

Yeah, I'm scared.

Excellent reporting lurch.

I'm sure your family will come back soon enough, but probably not.

And now breaking news ghosts haunt the Krusty Krab this just in security cam footage will finally reveal the true nature of the bikini bottom ghosts.

Okay, we're all seeing this for the first time here.

Mr crabs is trapped in the krusty Krab and has no escape from the so called ghosts crabs.

Okay, in haste dumps a bucket of water onto the ghosts, revealing their true nature.

What?

This whole time.

The ghosts were the missing friends.

Spongebob and patrick ghosts are scary, but you know, it's even scarier.

They're still in their birthday suits somebody get them a towel.

Let's take a look at the commotion inside the krusty Krab Krusty Krab presents live nude pranksters starring the bikini bottom ghosts.

They call that entertainment.

This is a family show awful.

I can only hope that years of expensive therapy can bring me back to normal and now for our community poll results.

It's time to find out who's the most handsome man in bikini bottom drumroll, please.

I don't know why I'm so nervous and the winner is Perch Perkins.

Oh, I never this, this, this is so sudden.

I never expected this.

This is all my whole life.

I've wanted to, Oh, this is so, I don't know what to say.

I can't thank the viewers enough for this honor.

I greatly appreciate the one person who voted Thanks mom.

I'm Perch Perkins and that's all the news that's fit to float.

Goodnight.