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>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JOSEPH. WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PREPARE YOURSELVES.
MY NEXT GUESTS ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD'S FIRST TELEVISED
CELEBRITY CHARITY PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT, "PICKLED," WHICH
PREMIERED TONIGHT ON CBS. PLEASE BECOME YOUR CHAMPIONS TO
"THE LATE SHOW." THE EMMY-AWARD WINNING
HOST OF "THE AMAZING RACE," PHIL KEOGHAN AND MULTI-PLATINUM
COUNTRY MUSIC STAR, DIERKS BENTLEY.
♪ ♪ ♪
THE CHAMPIONS. GENTLEMEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THE COUCH.
THIS IS NICE. >> Stephen: GENTLEMEN, WHAT AN
HONOR TO HAVE YOU BOTH HERE AS THE WORLD ALL NOW KNOW, YOU ARE
THE CHAMPIONS OF THIS YEAR'S INAUGURAL EPISODE OF "PICKLED."
THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> IT FEELS GOOD.
IT FEELS REAL GOOD. >> Stephen: WOULD YOU CARE TO
CELEBRATE YOUR WIN WITH THE PICKLE-BACK SHOT RIGHT HERE?
WE'VE GOT WHISKEY AND PICKLES. >> ANOTHER FIRST.
>> Stephen: HERE YOU GO. AND HERE IS TO YOU, GENTLEMEN,
VOLUNTEERING TO BE IN THIS CELEBRITY PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT
WHERE WE RAISED MONEY FOR COMIC RELIEF TO HELP CHILDREN AND
FAMILIES IN CRISIS. >> WELL DONE, STEPHEN.
WELL DONE. ( APPLAUSE )
HERE WE GO. MMM.
NICELY DONE. MMM.
>> CAN I HAVE ANOTHER PICKLE? >> Stephen: SURE, NOTHING LIKE
BACKING UP YOUR VODKA WITH A GHERKIN.
>> I NEVER LOVED PICKLES BEFORE I PLAYED PICKLE.
I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. THESE ARE REALLY GOOD.
>> Stephen: SEE HOW WE'RE HELPING PEOPLE?
YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD OWNERS OF THE COLBERT CUP.
THERE YOU GO. ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> STEPHEN, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
KNOW, BUT I LET DIERKS TAKE THE TROPHY.
>> Stephen: YOU DID. >> I DID.
>> Stephen: IT'S FOR A SURE. >> I ONLY GET IT FOR A YEAR.
>> Stephen: YOUR TEAM, WHEN HARRY MET RALLY, DIERKS, LET ME
ASK YOU THIS, WHAT WAS YOUR STRATEGY GOING IN?
YOU GUYS DOMINATED. WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN?
>> OUR PLAN WAS TO WIN. THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS, BUT IT'S
NOT CALLED "SHOW FRIENDS" IT'S SHOW BUSINESS.
WE WERE THERE TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.
AND WE DID. >> Stephen: YOU DID NOT MISS
MANY THINGS. I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT.
>> I'M GOING TO SAY EMMA, WHO WAS DIFFICULTY MOST COMPETITIVE
OUT OF EVERYBODY -- >> Stephen: EMMA WATSON, HE IS
TALKING ABOUT, WHO PARTNERED WITH SUGAR RAY LEONARD.
>> I MET HER IN THE MAKEUP ROOM. SHE WAS GETTING HER GAME FACE
ON. THEN-- THERE,s SHE WAS TRYING
TO INTIMIDATE ALL OF US. SHE TOLD US SHE HAD A COACH FOR
THE LAST MONTH. AND THEN WHEN SHE CAME OUT, THAT
EVIL EYE. >> Stephen: I STILL HAVE
NIGHTMARES ABOUT IT. >> IT GOT TO US.
IT GOT TO US. OF ALL OF THINGS WE'VE DONE WE
LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND WENT, "WE'RE NERVOUS, RIGHT?"
NORMALLY, YOU CAN PREPARE STEPHEN.
YOU CAN PREPARE FOR THINGS. I'M GOING TO SAY WE WERE
UNPREPARED. AND WE WERE CERTAINLY UPPREPARED
FOR HER. >> Stephen: I TAKE EXCEPTION
TO THIS. JIMMIE ALLEN OUTED YOU, DIERKS,
BECAUSE HE SAID YOU PLAY PICKLEBALL ON THE ROAD EVERY
TIME. >> A COUPLE OF TIMES.
>> Stephen: YOU SET UP A COURT--
>> WE SET UP COURTS IN ALL SORTS OF WEIRD PLACES.
I DID PLAY A TOURNAMENT IN LONDON, ONTARIO, AND OUR GUITAR
PLAYER ARE THE REIGNING CHAMPIONS OF THE 75 AND OLDER
GROUP-- WE KIND OF LIE ABOUT OUR AGE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT WINNING. WHATEVER IT TAKES, IF YOU HAVE
TO FAKE YOUR AGE. WE'RE THE CHAMPIONS OF LONDON,
ONTARIO. >> Stephen: PHIL, YOU HOST
"THE AMAZING RACE,"s AND THOSE ARE TOUGH COMPETITION SHOWS.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LENS AND
ACTUALLY BEING THE PERSON HAVING TO PUT IT OUT ALL ON THE LINE
THERE? >> YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU HOST A
SHOW WHERE YOU'RE A MUSICIAN, OR YOU HOST YOUR SHOW, YOU DO THE
PREPARATION, AND ALL THE NERVES GO AND YOU DO YOUR THING.
I WAS SO NERVOUS. AND I WAS HOPING THAT YOU
WEREN'T GOING TO BE, BUT YOU WERE.
>> I WAS REALLY NERVOUS. >> I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT STAYING
OUT OF THE KITCHEN. I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THE
RULES OF PICKLE. I PLAYED TENNIS WHEN I WAS A
KID. BUT THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT.
AND WE WERE REALLY-- WE WERE A NERVOUS WRECK GOING INTO IT.
>> Stephen: THE SECRET TO PICKLEBALL, IN MY OPINION, IS
THE BEST PLAYER IN THE WORLD IS ABOUT TWICE AS GOOD AS THE WORST
PLAYER IN THE WORLD. YOU CAN GRADE PICKLEBALL
PLAYERS-- >> YOU'RE ALREADY AT 90%.
>> Stephen: ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TWO, THAT'S HOW YOU RATE
PICKLEBALL PLAYERS. YOU CAME IN AS A SOLID ONE AND
ENDED AS A TWO. >> THAT'S ALL IT TOOK.
>> I FELT LIKE AN IMPOSTOR, TRUTH BE TOLD, I WAS KIND OF
CALLED IN AT THE LAST MINUTE -- >> Stephen: WE HAD ANOTHER
PLAYER TESTED POSITIVE AT THE LAST MOMENT.
>> MORE FAMOUS THAN ME. >> I WAS 26 HOURS' WARNING I
THINK IT WAS. AND THE EXECUTIVE AT CBS AND
CALLED ME AND SAID, "I JUST NOTICED, PHIL, THAT YOUR NAME IS
NOT ONs LIST." I WAS LIKE, "REALLY?"
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WHEN I FOUND OUT, I HAD TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT." AND I SAD, ALL RIGHT, WHO GOT
SICK?" AND THERE WAS SILENCE AND, "WHAT
ARE YOU DOING ON FRIDAY?" >> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE THE
CHAMPION AFTER NOT TRAINING AT ALL, AND EMMA WATSON IS OVER
THERE, M.V.P. >> EMMA WATSON LIKE METHOD ACTED
HER WAY THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. I DON'T THINK SHE PLAYED
PICKLEBALL AT ALL, SHE HIRED SOMEBODY.
>> SHE PUT MEs IN, LIKE, LITTLE BLOOD.
>> Stephen: YOU SAID EMMA WATSON DREW BLOOD ON YOU?
>> WHEN I WENT INTO THE BACK RAWL--
>> HE GOT HURT, AND SHE SMILED AND KIND OF LAUGHED ABOUT IT.
SHE WAS HAPPY. >> Stephen: FAMOUSLY CRUEL
PERSON, EMMA WATSON. >> IT WAS A LITTLE HURTFUL, TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU. I LOVE HER.
SHE'S SO GOOD. >> WE NEEDED TO TAKE IT TO THE
NEXT LEVEL. >> Stephen: DIERKS, I HEARD
YOUR SON RECENTLY WON A CHAMPIONSHIP OF HIS OWN.
>> HE DID. >> Stephen: TELL ME ABOUT
THAT? >> HE PLAYS TRAVEL HOCKEY, I'M A
TRAVEL HOCKEY DAD, AND MY WIFE TRAVELS,s TOO SPEAKING ABOUT
MOTIVATION. I'M ALL ABOUT FINDING WAYS TO
MOTIVATE MYSELF, AND MOTIVATE MY FAMILY, AND KNOX'S TEAM WAS OFF
TO A SLOW START AND WE AND THE DADS HAD AN IDEA, TELL THEM IF
THEY WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP WE'D TAKE THEM TO HOOTERS.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT. THEY WON.
THEY DIDN'T LET A GOAL GO IN FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD IS HE? >> NINE.
>> Stephen: DAD OF THE YEAR. THAT'S ABOUT AS OLD AS A PERSON
SHOULD BE AND STILL ENJOY GOING TO HOOTERS.
( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: LISTEN, PEOPLE
KNOW YOU AS A WORLD-CLASS PICKLEBALL PLAYER MOSTLY AT THIS
POINT. BUT YOU DO STILL PLAY COUNTRY
MUSIC. >> JUST FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SHARE WITH THE PEOPLE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO
BE DOING? >> I HAVE A BRAND NEW SONG,
CALLED "GOLD" COMING OUT IN FEBRUARY, I GUESS, AND IT'S ALL
ABOUT PICKLEBALL, FOLK S. >> Stephen: DIERKS,
CONGRATULATIONS. PHIL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE, MAN. THERE YOU GO.
THE WINNERS OF THE COLBERT CUP. YOU CAN STREAM "PICKLED" ON
PARAMOUNT+ AND CATCH PHIL ON "THE AMAZING RACE" AND "TOUGH AS
NAILS" WHICH PREMIERES JANUARY 4th.
DIERKS BENTLEY AND PHIL KEOGHAN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY DIERKS.
