Behavioral scientists have found that good listening is one of the most important things we can do to improve our relationships, develop our worldview, and potentially even change people's minds.

行為科學家發現，認真傾聽是最有助於改善人際關係、形成我們的世界觀，甚至改變他人想法的做法之一。

So, what can we do to become better listeners?

那麼，我們怎樣才能成為更好的傾聽者呢？

At its core, listening in a one-on-one conversation is about taking an interest in another person and making them feel understood.

在面對面的交談中，傾聽的本質是專注於對方的言談，讓他們感到被人理解。

There's no universally agreed upon definition of high-quality listening,

雖然沒有關於高質量聆聽的公認定義，

but some recurring features include attentiveness, conveying understanding, and showing a positive intention towards the speaker.

但這通常意味著全神投入、表露同情和對談話者的積極看法。

This doesn't mean you can simply go through the motions—researchers have found that merely smiling and nodding at set intervals doesn't quite work.

單單面部表情是不夠的。研究表明，隔一段時間微笑、點頭作用不大。

However, there is something slightly performative about listening in that it's important to show you're doing it.

但傾聽本身具有些許表演成分，因為表現在你有在聽很重要。

So, in addition to actively attending to a speaker's words,

除了實時關注對方的言談之外，

good listeners also use questions and body language that indicate their understanding and their desire to understand.

優秀的傾聽者還會通過提問與肢體語言體現自己的同理心，以及想要理解對方的慾望。

This might feel awkward at first, and what's most effective might depend on your relationship with the speaker.

起初，這可能會讓人感到別扭，而最有效的方法可能取決於你和談話者間的關係。

But with time and practice, you can internalize these basic behaviors.

但是隨著時間和練習，你會習慣於這些基礎行為。

So let's say a good friend wants to tell you about an issue they're having with their partner.

假設一位好朋友想告訴你其與另一伴之間的矛盾，

Before even starting your conversation, remove any distractions in the environment.

在談話開始前，請去除掉環境裡的任何干擾因素。

Turn off the TV, take off your headphones and put your phone away—far away.

關掉電視、摘掉耳機，把你的手機放在遠處。

One study showed that even the visible presence of a phone made conversations feel less intimate and fulfilling to those involved.

一項研究表明，手機處於可見的位置會讓參與者感覺談話缺少了親密感與滿足感。

Once the conversation begins, one of the most important things you can do is also the most obvious—try not to interrupt.

談話一但開始，最重要以及自然的行為是盡量不要打斷對方。

This doesn't mean you need to stay completely silent,

這並不意味著你得一聲不吭，

but if you do interject, look for natural pauses to ask open-ended questions that benefit the speaker, not just your curiosity.

但插話應該在自然停頓時進行，問些開放性的、有助於對方的問題，而不只是出於自身興趣。

Questions like "What happened next?"or "How did that make you feel?" confirm that you're following the story while also helping the speaker dive deeper into their own thoughts.

例如「之後發生了什麼？」或 「這讓你感覺如何？」，體現你跟著故事線走，並同時幫助對方更深刻地去思索。

Another great way to show your understanding is by summarizing what you just heard and asking if you've missed anything.

另一個表現你理解的方式是簡述你聽到的信息並詢問是否有遺漏。

Summaries like this show the speaker that you're truly trying to understand them rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.

這樣的總結告訴對方你真的是在努力理解他們，而不是乾等著輪到你講話。

Speaking of which, while a good conversation requires back and forth,

說到這裡，雖然好的交談需要雙方互動，

planning out your response while the speaker is talking is a common way to miss what's being said.

在對方講話時思考自己接下來的回答是漏掉講話內容的常見原因。

So try to stay present and if you lose focus, don't be shy about asking the speaker to repeat what you missed.

請盡可能保持注意力集中，如果走神了，不要不好意思讓對方重複你錯過的內容。

This might feel embarrassing, but asking for clarification actually shows that you're committed to understanding.

這也許會挺難堪，但請對方澄清其實體現了你在努力理解。

Finally, don't be afraid of silence.

最後，不要害怕沉默。

It's okay to ask for a moment to formulate your response and taking a beat to think can help speakers reflect on their speech as well.

尋求些時間來完善你的回應是正常的，而暫停一下來思考也能讓對方回顧自身說的話。

These might seem like small changes, but together they make a big difference.

這些改變也許看起來微不足道，但共同作用下會產生巨變。

And when people feel heard, they report more satisfaction, trust, and connection in their relationships.

而當人們的聲音被聽到，他們會從人際關係中獲得更多的滿足感、信任和親近感。

In the workplace, employees who feel heard generally experience less burnout, and perceive the managers who listened to them more favorably.

在職場，受人傾聽的員工比較不會感覺筋疲力竭，並會對細聽他們說話的經理印象更好。

Unfortunately, while it might be easy to listen to some people, it can be hard to muster all this focus and attention if you disagree with or dislike the speaker.

不幸的是，雖然傾聽些許人挺容易，但如果你與講話者存在分歧或討厭對方，就很難保持注意力集中。

But these situations might actually benefit most from your efforts to listen openly.

在此類情況下，保持開放心態最有成效。

The theory of psychological reactance suggests that trying to force someone to change their mind makes them more likely to defend their point of view.

心理抗拒理論表明，強迫別人改變意見只會讓他們更加堅定自己的觀點。

However, recent studies suggest that high-quality listening fosters open-mindedness by creating a non-judgmental and psychologically safe environment.

最近的研究表明，高質量的傾聽行為能通過塑造一個非主觀、使人放鬆的環境形成開放的氛圍。

Of course, truly open-minded listening isn't about changing people's minds.

當然了，真正的開放式聆聽不是為了改變他人的想法；

Good listening is not the same as agreeing, and conversations don't have to end with a happy resolution.

善於傾聽並不等於接受、妥協。談話也不是必須愉快地收尾。

But even during a disagreement, sometimes being heard is enough to start a deeper conversation.

但即使存在看法差異，被人聽見也足以推動更深的交流。