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  • (ragtime music)

  • So, this is just an interview for the newspaper.

  • I just have a couple questions.

  • - Mr. Grey will see you now. - Oh. (laughs)

  • Fifty Shades of Grey.

  • - Polite-- - What is this?

  • Intense, smart...

  • This looks like an attorney based film.

  • - Do you have any interests outside of work? - Bad question.

  • (Grey) I'd like to know more about you.

  • There's really not much to know about me.

  • I mean, look at me. (nervous chuckle)

  • I am.

  • Now I'm not sure what kind of film it is.

  • This is not good. Hypnotic eyes. Trouble!

  • Ooh Lord!

  • Ooh!

  • Didn't expect an interview to end like that.

  • (Grey) I'm incapable of leaving you alone.

  • - (Grey) I don't do romance. - I don't do romance?

  • What kind of a guy are you?

  • (Grey) My tastes are very...singular.

  • - You wouldn't understand. - Mmm.

  • I didn't imagine him that young.

  • He looks like a kid!

  • Enlighten me then.

  • Oh, baby. You're in trouble.

  • Into the dungeon you go!

  • (moaning)

  • Not exactly for children.

  • Fifty Shades of Grey! That famous novel.

  • The trailer was a bit of a mystery to me.

  • I thought it was gonna be a mystery or a spy thing.

  • You just knew that we either got vampire or sex coming.

  • The book was bad enough, the movie's probably worse.

  • (movie reel rolls)

  • - (Finebros) So does this movie look good? - Yes.

  • It looks good.

  • I'm not into movies that are all about the s-word.

  • It looks ridiculous. It looks stupid.

  • It looks intriguing。I wanna know what's on his mind.

  • I wouldn't like him to date my daughter, I'll tell you that!

  • So far, I'm not turned on.

  • - (Finebros) Have you read the book? - No, I haven't.

  • No. I wouldn't spend my money on it.

  • My library doesn't carry it

  • I've read the book. I read the next one.

  • Shame on me. It's very badly written,

  • but I couldn't put it down.

  • (Finebros) Do you have any idea of what it's about?

  • Something to do with power.

  • I know it's something to do with...sex!

  • Just get her in the dungeon and do stuff to her.

  • I think it's an S&M story.

  • It's about this innocent young woman.

  • and he turns out to be a sado-masochistic monster,

  • but she tames him

  • So he becomes a nice man

  • (Finebros) So we have some passages from the book.

  • Oh god

  • - (Finebros) Look it over first. - Okay.

  • (Finebros) And let us know if you're comfortable reading

  • this back to us.

  • No, I'm not gonna read this.

  • - You want me to read it out loud? - (Finebros) Yeah!

  • Okay.

  • "I pull him deeper into my mouth..." I have to read this? Me?

  • "So I can feel him at the back of my throat and then...

  • And then to the front again."

  • "My tongue swirls around the end."

  • (laughs)

  • "He's my very own Christian Grey flavored popsicle."

  • (laughs)

  • "He's my very own Christian Grey flavored popsicle."

  • (laughs)

  • "I suck harder and harder...mmmm."

  • "Harder...and harder...mmmmm."

  • Wow. (chuckles)

  • There's a whole lot of sex going on here.

  • I believe the Italians call that fellatio.

  • I know women like these things, but I don't understand it.

  • (Finebros) And one more!

  • "Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off

  • and throws them on the floor."

  • "Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow!"

  • Holy cow?!

  • "His erection springs free! HOLY COW!!!"

  • Holy cow?! No!

  • "He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length."

  • "Oh no...will it? How?!"

  • (laughs)

  • I like it.

  • I can't believe this has been such a best-seller.

  • (Finebros) So Fifty Shades of Grey was first only available online.

  • Then it got published and now the series has sold

  • - over 100 million books. - My goodness.

  • It just shows you how desperate the public is.

  • Horny as hell. (laughs) That's what they are!

  • (Finebros) So who do think this movie is targeted at?

  • People who love porn.

  • Oh, I would say, obviously, youth.

  • Aren't all movies the 18-24 year old boys?

  • Middle class housewives.

  • Women in their 40s, 30s.

  • It's targeting women. Lonely women.

  • (Finebros) When it comes to the book, it is said that the majority

  • of the readership were mothers over the age of 30 or older.

  • Really?

  • (Finebros) Why do you think moms, older mothers,

  • would enjoy reading a book about sex and bondage?

  • Maybe their guys are tired of sex.

  • Sex is a powerful thing. It's even more powerful than YouTube.

  • I can't answer that for them, 'cause I'm not into it.

  • I think it's probably a fantasy.

  • It show some of their erotic thoughts lurking behind those gentle, sweet faces.

  • Because they're home with their kids and their life is dull,

  • and probably sex has gone... (imitates plane crashing)

  • Mothers over 30?

  • After babies, you know, the bedroom is not quite as

  • an exciting place as it used to be, so they're probably looking for some...

  • some thrills that maybe they're not getting at home.

  • (Finebros) Do you think it's okay for something this sexual

  • - to be that popular? - Oh, sure.

  • No, I think it says something sad about our society,

  • that that's what people are spending their money and time on.

  • Those books always existed, and they were a lot more crass,

  • crappier, and poorly written in many ways than this.

  • I'm happy I live in a country where I'm not censored.

  • And the price you pay for lack of censorship

  • is there's going to be times that it goes over,

  • and you're gonna go, "Whoa! You know, this is too much!

  • Somebody should do something about this."

  • Well, you know what? Do you really want someone

  • doing something about that? Because that means

  • they're going to be doing something about this too.

  • TRUTH!

  • - (Finebros) Do you wanna go see it? - Oh, yes!

  • Yeah.

  • You bet.

  • You gotta go see things eventually, or you're gonna be

  • really out of the loop.

  • Yeah.

  • But I'm embarrassed to admit it. (laughs)

  • Not even if I got a free ticket.

  • When I saw that she was... her mouth was taped,

  • that was enough for me.

  • I don't think so 'cause I'm not into the bondage.

  • Heh. Right. For sure.

  • I won't read the book. I won't see the movie.

  • - I have zero interest in things like-- - (Finebros) You kinda want to see it.

  • Not even kind of. You're not going to play this with me.

  • - (Finebros) Just a little bit. - Not even a teeny bit!

  • I wouldn't even torrent it!

  • (Finebros laughs)

  • I don't know how to torrent.

  • (Finebros) Why is this your type of thing?

  • I guess I'm sexy and crazy!

  • PLAYA!!!!

(ragtime music)

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