are all the same.

They do!

Bro, there’s only two types of Asian girls:

The nerds that live in the library

or the crazy party chicks that bleach their hair.

That’s it!

The truth is,

there are many different types of Asian girls.

Yeah! About 18.

Using the patented scientific method of

“making things up,”

we present to you today,

18 Types of Asian Girls.

But before we complete each comprehensive profile of the Asian girls,

we brought in Asian girl-expert,

Porter Lynn.

Don’t worry guys

I’ve been an Asian girl for over 20 years.

And I have their reports analysis, right here!

Good work Porter.

Let’s go!

Number 1: The ABG -

Asian Baby Girl.

Common roles you’ll find ABG girls in are:

Import model, sexy coffee shop, trendy fusion restaurant,

Go-go dancers, and working at vape shops.

For those of you guys who don’t know,

the Asian baby girl is

basically a female Asian Gangster.

“I like guys with big fast car and tattoos;

and may have been arrested.”

They’re short, sexy

and you’ll know when you’ll see them.

“Next month, I’m going to be at the cover of Import Tuner Magazine.”

The ABG often has on

circle lenses, fake lashes

dark eyeliner, perfectly drawn eyebrows,

highlights or dyed hair, a push up bra;

anything that exposes her pierced belly button, or dragon tattoo.

The ABG looks tough on the outside,

but secretly on the inside,

she’s a little bit insecure.

“Are you freaking cheated on me? You cheated on me?

Oh my God? Am going to kill you.

Where are you going? I’m talking to you. Hey! Hey!”

“Come back!”

The turn down version of ABG is just AZN

Number 2: The Normal Good Asian Girl.

If you’re looking for cute and sweet,

she’s your gal.

(the girl sweetly smiles)

A common exchange between a normal Asian girl and her boyfriend

might be like:

Uh hey! What do you want to go eat?

Hmmm, I don’t know.

Wherever you want to eat.

The good Asian girl is totally cool,

who’s spending Friday night with her parents at an Asian restaurant

They like Korean dramas, Hello Kitty.

Yogurt land, Disneyland,

anything that ends with land.

It’s all one big cute ecosystem that

the normal and average good Asian girl like.

And she definitely enjoys herself

with a good Wong Fu video.

The normal good Asian girl generally wears loose or fading clothing.

Nothing too crazy or sexier.

Number 3: Yappie Asian Girl -

“Young Asian Professional”

The Yappie Asian Girl is the turn up version of the good Asian girl.

The Yappie Girls like having a jam packed schedule,

eating in a cool and expensive restaurants,

hiking and half marathons,

writing about how much she travels,

driving a pretty decent car, and home decorations.

Basically, if you want to know more,

watch this video called “What Yappies Like”.

We made it right here.

She definitely wears

Tory Burch Reva flats

and similar items.

Number 4: The FOB Asian Girl

Oh yeah!

Fresh off the boat!

But nowadays, they’re more like Boba

“Brought Over By Airplane”

So there’s a lot of different types of FOB Asian Girl.

But we’re going to be focusing

on the rich and the normal.

The rich FOB Asian Girl may have done international school back in Asia,

where her family has millions of dollars

or she just came off the plane yesterday

and is already driving a Ferrari

very badly

The normal fob girl is probably a student

who spends a lot of time at the boba shop

or library on campus.

And currently, she’s trying to decide

whether she can stay in America or go back.

The rich FOB girl’s outfit,

probably cost more than your car.

The normal FOB chick likes

American brands that aren’t very special to us

But very special to them

The Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria’s Secret

Number 5: The GEEK Asian Girl

The GEEK Asian Girls like being a gamer, being an Otaku, being a K-Pop fan girl,

being a youtube fan girl, being in a Sci-Fi, and being in a British TV show.

I just got an early bird tickets to a K-con,

Anime Expo and comic con.

Did you get yours yet?

But don’t get the GEEK Asian Girl mixed up with a normal Asian girl

The GEEK Asian Girls are much more in a subculture and entertainment.

She probably read the entire book series of A Game of Thrones

before watching the show.

But shout out to the GEEK Asian Girls

Because without you guys,

there would be no Asian youtube stars

Then what would I do?

You guys mean so much… (pretending to cry)

The Geeky Asian Girl does not use a picture

of her face as her avatar and she is

into Asiatic thing.

She probably kind of wishes she was Korean or Japanese.

“Oh G-dragon! I love K-Pop . . . “Fighting!”

As far as clothing

They’re probably wearing a t-shirt of

their favorite band, TV show or favorite YouTube star.

Wong Fu for life

Number 6: The Brainiac

Super Nerd Asian Girl.

She’s probably the daughter of a

Professor or a researcher or engineer or something that’s smart.

Do the words “Quantum Mechanics” String Theory or the Multi-variable calculus,

ring a bell?

If they do,

you’re probably a Brainiac Asian Girl!

She doesn’t use social media very much

unless she’s posting about some sort of

Scientific breakthrough or project she is working on.

The Brainiac Asian Girl wears wired rim glasses

and generally, doesn’t care a lot about fashion.

Number 7: The FITNESS Sporty Asian Girl

You have your fitness Asian Girl,

But she’s really more into health

for the benefits of looking good on Instagram

and you’re sporty Asian girls,

she played multiple sports growing up,

was a tomboy,

and as an adult, she still plays

Intramural recreational sports.

Some of the things that the fitness sporty girl likes are

crossfit, Zumba, doom squats,

Yoga pilates, buying new workout clothes,

and posting inspirational quotes on Instagram.

Fitness Sporty Asian Girl wears Nike womens,

Lululemon or other similar brands.

Great work out today.

No pain, no gain.

Number 8: The Party Asian Girl

Oh yeah…

Although there are some similarities,

don’t get it mix up with the ABG.

The Party Girl is more defined

by the extravagant nights out:

bar, club, concert, festival, Vegas

she’s there.

Hey! Hey let’s take a selfie.

Unlike ABG, you’ll never find

a Party Girl at the pool.

You can find this girls at the hotel rooms,

or day clubs in Vegas

taking pictures with her friends;

who she refers to as betches or baes.

Me and my girls all look like sexy betches tonight

Ugh, why these guys are hitting on us.

It’s annoying.

Thirsty much?

The best pictures are when they are posing

with their hand on their hip,

knee bend, head slightly tilt to the one side,

and typically in a dark room.

The Party Asian Girls spend a lot of time

thinking about which party she going to go to this weekend.

Dude, who are those guys that she’s hanging out with, man

How am I supposed to compete?

(Shame face)

C’mon let’s take a selfie.

That’s not good, let’s do it again.

As far as clothing, they have a bunch of clothes from Forever 21

bikinis for day clubs,

bandage dresses and bra tops.

Number 9: The Whitewashed Asian Girl

Oh it’s my favorite type.

Okay so here’s three ways that Asian girl can be whitewashed.

The first way is

that they grow up on all white environment

so it feels very natural for them.

The second way

is that she grow up around Asia

but she does not think it as cool

so she kind of reject it.

And third way is that

Asian girl can be adopted into a white family

in which case that make perfect sense.

Now, those three methods turn into two types.

The two types of whitewashed Asian girls are

the Blonde Sorority Wannabe

and the second kind is the Rocker Alternative girl.

And often you’ll hear

why whitewash Asian girl says things like:

No, I’m not really thinking about race, We're... just people.

And

Ew that’s so Asian.

Or

Oh my god, haba babies are the cutest

Or this

I think I am more in common with them,

I don’t know. I just really like white guys.

Or maybe this too

Um yeah, now that I think about it,

I’ve never dated an Asian guy before.

And the second kind is the Rocker Alternative girl.

She’s edgy, cynical.

Doesn’t really relate to most Asian.

How do you like that cartoon Daria.

And the whitewashed worthy Asian chick,

really love San Diego and Santa Barbara.

Or really just any rich white party area by the beach.

The sorority whitewashed Asian girl

pretty much wears what a white sporty girl would wear.

And she’s really into themed parties.

Like neon pub crawls

The alternative Asian rocker chick

Pretty much wears what an alternative white girl rocker chick will wear

But a little toned down because she still

Has Asian parents

Number ten: The hipster Asian Girl

Hipster are pretty big category nowadays

But you know what I mean.

This girl is an artist, blogger, photographer

Hippie, doing social media for company

Or she just want freelancing in something

And she’s trying to figure it out

And her parents are worried.

“Irony, Irony, Irony,”

“I love Irony.”

They’re always friends with a lot of white people

And can be friends with a lot of Asians too

But they gotta hipsters as well

And they definitely like tall skinny guys,

With beard too like ark

Hipster Asian girls love oversized sweaters,

Beanies, tattoos, piercings,

Art accessories and beanies.

Did I mention beanies?

“Oh, that one is going on the blog.”

Number eleven: The Fashionista Asian Girl

The Fashionista Asian girl is similar to the Hipster Asian Girl

But way more focus on the fashion industry

Hipsters love vintage thrift stores

And fashionistas prefer boutiques

If you are fashionista Asian girl

You’re definitely familiar with these people