are ‘paranoid.’ The word is easy to laugh off  as impossibly eccentric, evoking people who  

是 "偏執狂"。這個詞很容易讓人笑掉大牙，認為是不可能的怪癖，讓人想起那些

insist that they are being tailed by the secret  service or watched over by an alien species. But  

堅稱他們被特勤局跟蹤或被一個外星物種監視著。但是

the reality is lot more normal-looking and  far less comedic-feeling. To be paranoid in  

現實中的情況要正常得多，遠沒有喜劇的感覺。妄想症在

the true sense is to suffer from a repeated  feeling that most people hate us, that most  

真正的意義是反覆感到大多數人討厭我們，大多數人

situations are extremely dangerous and that some  kind of catastrophe is likely to befall us soon. 

情況極其危險，某種災難可能很快就會降臨到我們身上。

It may not be immediately obvious what connects  up - for example - our impression that a colleague  

我們可能不會立即意識到是什麼連接了--例如--我們的印象是一個同事

is taking us for a fool, with our fear of being  talked about unkindly by our friends, with our  

把我們當做傻瓜，我們害怕被朋友們不懷好意地議論，我們的

impression that the waiter has deliberately  placed us at the worst table and our dread  

印象中，服務員故意把我們安排在最差的桌子上，我們的恐懼

that we’re about to be caught up in a scandal. But our sense that the world is permanently and  

我們即將被捲入一場醜聞中。但我們的感覺是，這個世界是永久和

imminently conspiring to belittle, attack and  humiliate us is most likely the outcome of a  

即將密謀貶低、攻擊和羞辱我們，這很可能是一個結果。

very particular string of experiences of  belittlement, attack and humiliation that  

一系列非常特別的被輕視、被攻擊和被羞辱的經歷。

will have occurred at the hands of just one  or two people in our formative years - and  

在我們的成長歲月中，只發生在一兩個人的手中--並且

yet that will have been carefully submerged  and overlooked. And this will have been done  

然而，這將被小心翼翼地淹沒和忽略了。而這一點將已經完成

because we have implicitly preferred to fear the  world rather than acknowledge the reality of the  

因為我們含蓄地選擇了對世界的恐懼，而不是承認世界的現實。

torment we underwent at the hands of characters  - who might also be our mother or father - whom  

我們在一些人物--也可能是我們的母親或父親--手中經受的折磨。

we would have liked so much to trust and to love. It’s unfortunate that our minds need to discharge  

我們本來非常喜歡信任和愛。不幸的是，我們的思想需要排出

their toxins somewhere and that if they have been  blocked from doing so in the appropriate location,  

他們的毒素在某個地方，如果他們被阻止在適當的地方這樣做。

they will seek to do so anywhere that feels  remotely relevant: the office or the restaurant,  

他們會在任何感覺與之相關的地方尋求這樣做：辦公室或餐廳。

the party or the newspaper article. The hatred  and viciousness we fear from colleagues,  

黨或報紙上的文章。我們害怕來自同事的仇恨和惡毒。

friends or social media is only a proxy for  what we once received from sources close to  

朋友或社交媒體只是代表我們曾經從接近的來源得到的資訊。

home - and which we have lacked the support  required to return back to their senders. 

而我們缺乏必要的支持，無法將其送回寄件人手中。

Understanding who has crushed and scarred  us constitutes a critical part of adult  

瞭解誰粉碎了我們，誰給我們留下了傷痕，這構成了成年人的一個關鍵部分。

self-knowledge. It is also - we should recognise  - an insight we may be deeply reluctant to secure,  

自知之明。它也是--我們應該認識到--我們可能極不情願確保的一種洞察力。

opting to be forever terrified rather than  raise arguments against our treatment by  

選擇了永遠的恐懼，而不是提出反對我們的待遇的論點。

care-givers whom we have chosen to believe  are innocent. It may one day feel as though  

我們已經選擇相信他們是無辜的。可能有一天，我們會覺得好像

far fewer people are actually laughing  at us and that there is far less risk of  

嘲笑我們的人實際上要少得多，而且在我們身上發生的風險也小得多。

a scandal soon - once we understand that the  mockery and shaming we anticipate for tomorrow  

醜聞很快就會發生--一旦我們明白，我們所期待的明天的嘲弄和羞辱

already unfolded in our heartrendingly  anguished and unexplored yesterdays.

已經在我們令人痛心的痛苦和未經探索的昨天展開了。