But when you get your grades back, they're much lower than the two of you expected.

但當你拿回你的成績時，它們比你們兩個人的預期低得多。

You're devastated.

你被摧毀了。

However, your friend doesn't seem too bothered, and it's making you wonder why you can't shake this off like they can.

然而，你的朋友似乎並不太在意，這讓你想知道為什麼你不能像他們那樣甩掉這一切。

But should you really be trying to look on the bright side?

但是，你真的應該努力往好的方面想嗎？

And is controlling our emotions even possible in the first place?

一開始就控制我們的情緒是可能的嗎？

The answer to the last question is a definitive "yes."

對最後一個問題的回答是明確的「可以」。

There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions, and one framework to understand these techniques is called the Process Model.

有許多調節我們情緒的策略，而理解這些技術的一個框架被稱為過程模型。

Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene in the process that forms our emotions.

心理學家使用這個工具來確定在哪裡以及如何干預形成我們情緒的過程。

That process has four steps:

這個過程有四個步驟：

first, we enter a situation, real or imagined, and that draws our attention.

首先，我們進入一個引起我們注意的真實或想像的情境。

Then we evaluate, or appraise, the situation and whether it helps or hinders our goals.

然後，我們評估，或評價，這個情況以及它是否有助於或阻礙我們的目標。

Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave, known as an emotional response.

最後，這種評估會導致我們的感受、思考和行為發生一系列變化，稱為情緒反應。

Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene and change our emotions,

這個過程的每一步都提供了一個機會來有意識地干預和改變我們的情緒，

and the Process Model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.

過程模型概述了我們在每個階段可能嘗試的策略。

To see this in action, let's imagine you've been invited to the same party as your least-favorite ex and their new partner.

為了實際看到這一過程，讓我們假設你被邀請參加你最不喜歡的前任和他們的新伴侶會一同參加的聚會。

Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether by skipping the party.

您的第一個策略可能是通過不去參加聚會來完全避免這種情況。

But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation by choosing not to interact with your ex.

但如果你真的參加了，你也可以嘗試通過選擇不與你的前任互動來改變這種情況。

If that's proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention, maybe by playing a game with your friends rather than focusing on your ex's new partner.

如果事實證明這很困難，你可能想轉移你的注意力，也許是和你的朋友一起玩遊戲，而不是把注意力集中在你前任的新伴侶身上。

Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation.

另一種選擇是重新評估你對這種情況的看法。

After seriously reappraising things, you might realize that you don't care who your ex dates.

在認真地重新評估事情之後，你可能會意識到你不在乎你的前約會對象是誰。

If none of these strategies work, you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact.

如果這些策略都不起作用，你可以隨時嘗試在事後調節你的情緒反應。

But this can be tricky.

但這可能很棘手。

Many of the easiest ways to do this, like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs,

很多最簡單做到的方法像是隱藏你的情緒或試圖用消遣性藥物來改變它們，

generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term.

從長遠來看，通常會導致更多的負面情緒和健康問題。

More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk, taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system.

更永續性的策略包括長距離散步、緩慢深呼吸或與身邊的支持系統的人聊天。

While using all these strategies well takes practice, learning to notice your emotions and reflect on where they're coming from is half the battle.

雖然要很好地使用這些策略需要練習，但學會注意自己的情緒並反思情緒的來源已是成功的一半。

And once you've truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions, doing so becomes much easier.

一旦你真正內化了你可以調節自己情緒的能力，這樣做就會變得容易得多。

But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood?

但是你應該使用這些技巧來不斷保持良好的心情嗎？

That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood "good."

這個答案取決於你如何定義什麼是 「良好」的情緒。

It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration, but no emotion is inherently good or bad—they're either helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation.

大家很容易認為我們應該始終盡量避免悲傷和沮喪，但沒有一種情緒本身是好是壞——它們要麼有益，要麽無益，取決於具體情況。

For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one, feeling and expressing sadness isn't just appropriate, it can help you empathize and support them.

例如，如果一個朋友告訴你失去親人的消息，感受和表達悲傷不僅是恰當的，還可以幫助你同情和支持他們。

Conversely, while it's unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions, forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.

相反，雖然經常忽視你的情緒是不健康的，但強迫微笑來度過短暫的煩惱是完全合理的。

We hear a lot of mixed messages about emotions.

我們會聽到很多關於參雜不同情緒的信息。

Some pressure us to stay upbeat while others tell us to simply take our emotions as they come.

有些人迫使我們保持樂觀，而另一些人則告訴我們只要情緒來時就接受。

But in reality, each person has to find their own balance.

但在現實中，每個人都必須找到自己的平衡。

So, if the question is: "should you always try to be happy?"

所以如果問題是「你是否應該總是試著讓自己變得快樂？」

The answer is no.

答案是否定的。

Studies suggest that people fixated on happiness often experience secondary negative emotions, like guilt, or frustration over being upset, and disappointment that they don't feel happier.

研究表明，專注於幸福的人經常會經歷次要的負面情緒，例如內疚或因心煩意亂而感到沮喪，以及因沒有感到更幸福而感到失望。

This doesn't mean you should let sadness or anger take over.

這並不表示你應該讓悲傷或憤怒佔據上風。

But strategies like reappraisal can help you re-evaluate your thoughts about a situation,

但是像重新評價這樣的策略可以幫助你重新評估你對特定情況的想法，

allowing you to accept that you feel sad and cultivate hope that things will get better.

讓你接受自己感到悲傷並培養希望事情會好轉的希望。