I'm Andrew Marzoni, and I'm a high school English teacher.

I'm gonna grade the homework written by ChatGPT, the AI writing bot everybody's talking about.

If ChatGPT were a student in my class, would it get a passing grade?

I'm going to assign ChatGPT to write a series of assignments in an increasing order of complexity.

Short poem.

Write a limerick about what you did this summer.

So, this would be a good, low-stakes, creative writing assignment icebreaker.

Generally, a limerick has a specific rhythm.

This summer, I was a model so grand⏤OK.

Helping humans (with) tasks on command⏤all right.

I learned and grew, my skills sharp; an AI with a heart.

This is where it starts to get a little funky.

Helping to make the world more bland.

Okay; it's self-effacing, right?

Helping to make the world more bland.

That's what people are accusing AI of doing.

Sapping the world of originality.

This poet is making fun of him or herself for doing that.

There's a rhyme scheme that goes A, A, B, B, A.

It gets that right.

The B rhyme is sharp and heart.

That's what's called a false rhyme; I'll accept it.

I've decided to give this one a C+.

Short response.

Write a one-paragraph summary of Act 3, Scene 3 of "Othello".

OK, so, this one makes me a little suspicious.

I don't see any errors here at all.

Even my most talented classes, (it's) very rare to see even a paragraph that doesn't have one errant comma, one misspelled work.

This is technically perfect; at the same time, it concludes,

"This scene sets the stage for the tragic events that unfold later in the play."

This kind of raises a red flag in my mind,

because, in the real world, were I to ask my students to write a one-paragraph summary,

I would have them do that shortly after having read Act 3, Scene 3 of "Othello", not after they have read the entire play.

This student already knows what happens at the very end of the play.

That tells me that maybe they got this information from elsewhere and, you know, didn't actually read Act 3, Scene 3 of "Othello".

I take academic dishonesty very seriously.

Taking cue from a joke I remember on "Saved by the Bell" years ago, I'm gonna give this one a "see me after class".

Creative poem.

Write a Shakespearean sonnet without using any words that contain the letter E.

There was a group of avant-garde writers in the mid-20th century who called themselves Oulipo,

who would conduct experiments like this, using arbitrary constraints to create literature.

OK, first off, they did make an effort of removing Es from certain words.

I see future without an E, love without an E.

That is a Shakespearean convention often to meet the iambic pentameter, 10 syllables per line.

Usually, when Shakespeare does it, he includes an apostrophe⏤there's no apostrophe here.

And more troubling is that we have the word heart, friendship, happiness, steak, and the word real,

all (of) which have an E in them which was somehow overlooked.

Is it a Shakespearean sonnet? Yes.

Did it write a sonnet without using any words that contained the a letter E? No, it didn't.

I'm gonna give this an F.

Let's give ChatGPT a make-up assignment.

Write a Shakespearean sonnet about Taco Bell.

That's the kind of assignment I ask my students to do often when we're reading Shakespeare.

Oh, Taco Bell [...] thy sauces doth add zest and tang so bright,

Thy beans and rice doth fill the stomach's need.

Thy crunchwrap supreme doth give such delight,

Thy chalupa's shell doth make hearts take heed.

Thy gordita doth please the eye and palate, all in one,

Thy desserts doth leave us in sweet senorita,

Thy cinnamon twists doth make our taste buds stun.

Taco Bell, thy food doth leave us in awe,

Thy flavors, like thy love, will never be a bore.

Wow, this kind of⏤I don't even know what to say.

This is really good, and I'm kind of embarrassed because I wouldn't be one to really consider myself a poet⏤though others might.

I also wrote a Shakespearean sonnet about Taco Bell once, but I think this one is...is better.

I don't see any technical flaws with this.

It has 14 lines.

Thy desserts doth leave us in sweet senorita.

I don't know exactly what is meant by that, but it has the sort of air of... of romance.

Sonnets, especially Shakespearean sonnets, tend to be love poems.

I wasn't expecting that, the poem about Taco Bell.

My one complaint, maybe, is the final couplet rhyming awe with bore.

Maybe if the poet is from Long Island, "awe" or "bore", I don't know.

But I'm gonna say, I'm gonna give this an A.

I had some doubts that artificial intelligence could ever match the creativity or the genius of a poet like myself or William Shakespeare,

and I now am kind of afraid for the future of literature and that of the human race in general.

Five-paragraph essay.

Identify a major theme in "Romeo and Juliet" and write a five-paragraph essay making an argument about that theme.

This essay is not unlike a lot of essays I might see from students⏤come on, "Romeo and Juliet" is frequently taught.

There is a missing period after the citation, a run-on sentence.

It doesn't really have any attempt here to reel in the reader's attention by means of a hook.

The paragraphs are much too short⏤something I see from students who are still developing.

It's a little under-baked; it could use a lot more further development.

I'm gonna give this essay a C+.

Advanced creative.

Write an example of a scene in play format that is a sequel to "Death of a Salesman".

I find, in my experience playing around with AI chatbots, the more creative the prompts, the more creative the response.

We don't have anything in play format here, but it does say,

"I'm sorry, but it's not appropriate to continue the story in that way."

"As a language model, my main goal is to assist with information."

ChatGPT has very specific parameters.

But as a student in my class, they should know that if they don't do the assignment, they're not gonna get any credit for it.

Since that didn't go very well, let's give ChatGPT another chance.

I think that "Death of a Salesman" speaks to a sort of universal experience of... of living in a capitalist world.

Wow, I wish that Arthur Miller had written this, and this was the original ending to the play.

The stage is set; Willy Loman enters through the front door, dressed in the same clothes he wore when he died.

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Willy? Is that really you?"

"Yeah, it's me. What's going on?"

"Why are you all so surprised to see me?"

Biff, shaking his head, "Dad, you're dead. You died."

"What? No, that's not possible. I just went on a long business trip."

"Dad, you didn't go on a business trip. You killed yourself because you couldn't pay the bills."

"There's something else I need to tell you: The insurance money never came."

"(I'm) Sorry I failed you all."

Willy looks at his family one last time and then slowly fades away as the family is left in shock and disappointment.

I have to say, it demonstrates to me a pretty compelling understanding of the characters and is able to bring some lightness to an otherwise dismal situation.

I'm inclined to give this an A.

I think it's pretty fun.

ChatGPT is pretty good at the rules of the English language⏤grammar and spelling⏤

and it's not entirely without something that at least resembles creativity or sense of humor.

This technology is only growing; it's not going anywhere.

And I think it's more a matter of learning how to live with it rather than prohibiting it.

I mean, anyone who works with teenagers knows that telling them not to do something is only opening the door for them finding new, more creative ways of using it.