I got it. Get it? Oh, my arm is asleep!

Hello? Hi. Yes, this is she.

Who is it?

Okay. Oh, God.

Tell me what's happening.

Hayley has been arrested.

What?

Phone!

I bet that's Mama, I was just dreaming. It was raining chickens, Mitchell. Answer the phone.

Look what I'm doing. Look what I'm doing.

Huh? Hello?

Hey, Mitchell. I'm sorry to wake you up but Hayley got arrested.

Oh. Hayley got arrested.

That explains the chickens.

It does. It adds up.

What did she get arrested for?

Oh, she got caught drinking at some party. Look, could you drive up to the college with us? I think we're going to need a lawyer.

Yes, of course. And, Cam and Lily they can come over and stay with Alex and Luke.

I'll guard them with my life.

I hate to bother him.

No, no, don't be silly. He's happy to do it.

Okay, we'll be over in a little bit.

Oh, I get it. When you told Claire I would come over and watch the kids, she was resistant because she doesn't trust my parenting skills.

No, don't. Don't be silly. She doesn't want to put you out.

She's got a daughter behind bars, and she's got the nerve to say I'm a bad parent. You didn't defend me.

Because she didn't say anything.

Why are you protecting her?

Why are you so unprotecting me?

What is taking so long?

In my experience, these things can take time. So settle ins. This could be a while.

There she is.

Damn it.

Oh. Oh, God.

You okay?

I'm fine, Mom.

Oh, What the hell were you thinking? - What happened?

It's not a big deal. Okay? There was a party and people were drinking, so the police showed up and everybody ran. So I did, too.

And I started coming down this fire escape, and then I heard a cop yell to put your hands up, so I did. And I fell onto him.

You could have been killed.

Hayley, you're supposed to be an adult. How could you do something so stupid?

Okay, okay. Let's calm down. We're all a little tired and cranky.

Best thing we can do right now is get out of here. Go get some waffles.

I don't want waffles, Phil. Okay? I'm upset, and I wanted to go with this.

All right? I got some bad news here. This afternoon, Hayley has to appear before a disciplinary board, which will decide whether or not she gets kicked out of school.

What?

Oh, wait no, I got that wrong, huh? Oh, no, I got a right.

Yes. Score.

Disgusting.

What are you wearing?

What? What's wrong with it?

Honey, you are fighting for your future in front of a disciplinary committee, not entertaining the Secret Service.

In Legally Blond, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.

Haley, this is real life, not an excellent movie.

Honey, just put on something else and take down the makeup.

Why are you guys acting like this is my fault? Everybody was drinking. Everybody ran. I just got caught. If anything, I'm the victim here.

What?

Just stop.

Just stop talking.

Haley, you're not the victim here. You're the one who screwed up.

You made one bad decision after another. Now you're about to blow everything your mother and I worked so hard to give you.

And the worst thing is, you don't seem to care.

We all got up at 3 a.m. this morning to bail you out of jail. We haven't eaten a thing. And you know what I haven't heard from you yet?

"I'm sorry, Mom. I screwed up. Dad, please forgive me."

Now, put on some real clothes. We'll see you at the hearing. Do not be late. Come on.

Where are you going?

To get that man a waffle.

Haley Dunphy.

Yes, that's me.

I'm Dean Miller with Admissions. This is Professor Williams. Hi.

And this is our student, Representative Aiden Feldman.

Nice to meet you.

Seriously? We sit next to each other in econ.

Oh, right. - Don't. It insults both of us. Mostly me.

Move along, Aiden. This is a disciplinary hearing. Not JDate.

You are charged with public drunkenness, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. All of which obviously violates our schools code of conduct.

Sir, if I may speak on behalf of my client.

Who are you?

I'm Mitchell Pritchett. I'm Ms.Dunphy's attorney.

We require students to speak for themselves. There are no attorneys allowed. You shouldn't even be here.

What if I just sat in this chair? I was really super quiet and just listen.

I'll allow it.

Knock it off. Aiden. Ms.Dunphy, is there anything you would like to say in your defense?

Actually, I have no defense. I was drinking. I am underage. I ran from the police. And even though it was an accident, I injured an officer.

I'm very, very sorry. I've made a lot of bad decisions since I've been here, and it's time I take some responsibility.

Like sometimes in the dining hall, I slip my pinkie under the scale when they weight my salad.

Also, I've missed more morning classes than I've been to.

I don't know the policy is on dating TAs, but I think I broke it twice.

Oh, and if we're going to be completely honest on my application to get in here, I lied about the fact that I...

Objection... - On what grounds?

Oh, he gets to say it.

Ms.Dunphy, we appreciate your candor. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Go, wildcats.

Oh, boy.

That's not even our mascot.