They're killing black people outside, they're killing Asians, they're killing white people in movies like Iron Man and I hate that.

And my cousin's so stupid.

She's like, "You know what? Don't worry, Ron, we're safe, we're not Chinese, we're Filipino."

I'm like, "Are you crazy? Do you think the racist know the difference between Chinese and Filipino?"

Do you know the difference between Chinese and Filipino to a racist? It's a difference between a Honda Civic and a tinted Honda Civic.

One's a little darker but more stylish.

Filipinos we're not even full Asian.

The government didn't know we were, they just put us in an Asian category.

We're actually a mix.

We're half Asian and half Latino.

When my parents came to Canada, they had to fill out a form for the government to choose what race they were.

They had to checkmark white, Black, Latino, Asian, and Middle Eastern.

We checkmarked Asian and then Latino, have two lines drawn to one, and then write Filipino.

Those two are half Asian and half Latino.

See what happened was back in the day in the 1500's, Spain went to the Philippines made love to everybody and then left us.

It's like, "Where's your dad? - "On those boats?"

"Where are they going?" - "To the Caribbean."

"Why?" - "To make Cubans now."

That joke never works in Miami by the way.

And my parents taught me English.

It was kind of weird because they had the Filipino accent.

So I grew up with an accent, you know, how messed up that was.

I had a Filipino accent growing up, but I wasn't born in the Philippines.

I didn't know how to speak Filipino either.

I just had a Filipino accent as a kid.

The teachers like, "So where are you from?"

"Canada."

"Are you sure?" -"Positive."

"You can't speak any Filipino." - "Not at all."

This kid is a North Korean spy for sure.

I remember the report card read: "Ron has a problem pronouncing his Fs and Ps and Vs and Bs.

He pronounces friends as PRIENDS."

My dad's like, "Why do you pronounce friends as "PRIENDS"? Who taught that to you? You have a "PREAKING" problem. You know that?"

I'm big for a Filipino, too.

My dad's not even 5 ft tall.

He keeps looking at me like I'm a monster.

"Look how big you are. Look at my creation. Like Prankenstein."

They love seafood.

They love fish.

Tilapia.

Red Snapper.

My dad's favorite fish is called milkfish.

It's from the Philippines.

There's a million bones in the fish and he can't get enough of it.

Here's my dad every Sunday morning.

"Number one fish from the Philippines milkfish. Number one."

"Call the doctor."

The cats look at him like...

"Call two doctors."

We have delicacy-- any Filipinos here make some noise?

Ok.

You're not following me out here.

No, you, no just say you are.

Anyways, make me feel comfortable.

We have delicacies in our community.

Every culture is a delicacy which means it's gross.

That's why they call it a delicacy.

You have to be delicate to the situation.

That's like having an ugly child.

You can't call the child ugly.

You have to call it smart.

You know, he's a genius.

He'll be fine.

Look away.

Filipino is this one delicacy called balut.

Oh, you guys know this?

Do you have Filipinos in your basement? What's going on here?

If you don't know, it's a duck embryo.

Relax.

I'm not selling them to you after the show.

I'll sign your ballot.

To explain the first week is the embryo, the yoke, the fourth week is the bird.

It's right smack dab in the middle.

I don't know why Filipinos eat this.

We couldn't wait for the process to end.

"Can you pull the plug now, I'm hungry over here."

I saw this in that TV show Fear Factor.

Remember that Joe Rogan show?

This guy wouldn't eat balut for $50,000.

My dad was like, "That's full of crap. I have two in my pocket, right now. 50,000 very easy."

My dad used to sell these baluts to the Filipino community in Toronto back in the eighties.

When I was six years old, I was a prankster.

What I would do, take a cook balut come home, bring it to school, put it under a tree, take the balut halfway out to make it look like it fell from the nest.

I know I was a messed up kid.

I went to therapy for this.

But anyways, and the kids would gather, "Oh my god."

"There's a baby bird that fell from the tree. That's so sad."

I walk in, "How much did you pay me to eat it?"

I made 100 dollars at 6 years old. I was a diabolical genius.

The principal called my dad, "Mr. Josol, your son's eating dead birds falling from trees."

"Are you stupid? - "No, Dad. That was a scam. I made $100 one balut."

"Okay, I take you, bring it to school, and you can do it again. You're a genius. Look at my creation."

Thank you so much for watching.