Or maybe you feel confident when expressing yourself via text message, but you just can't seem to find the words when it's time to make a phone call.

But it isn't just about who you're communicating with or whether there's a screen separating you.

The TIME that passes between each chunk of language makes a huge impact.

See, I'm Dr. Erica Brozovsky and this is "Other Words."

Think about speaking or signing face-to-face or talking on the phone.

These are forms of synchronous communication, conversations where all the speakers are participating at the same time.

Asynchronous communication, on the other hand involves time passing between conversational turns.

That could be a few minutes when you shoot a quick reply back to an email or even weeks between sending and receiving a letter.

Synchronous communication tends to use signed or spoken language while most asynchronous conversation happens in written form.

It would be pretty weird if I said "Hi to you" and then waited around a few hours for you to respond.

This difference allows synchronous communication to carry layers of meaning that asynchronous conversation can't do as easily.

Intonation or altering the pitch of our voices can convey emotion, add emphasis and even indicate whether something's a question or a declaration.

Sign Language users can express these messages in the speed and size of their signs, but intonation carries a lot of subtle context about what an utterance means.

It's the difference between "Come see me in my office!" and "Come see me in my office."

Though incomplete, there are ways we try to replicate tone in asynchronous written communication.

Punctuation helps us denote that we're asking a question, where we might otherwise use up speak.

We can italicize words for emphasis, type in all caps to indicate shouting or even use mixed case to connote a sing-songy mocking tone.

But written language doesn't perfectly replicate all the different nuances when we speak.

Think about how hard it is to show sarcasm through writing, and when we don't all share the same ideas about how to visually represent tone, well,

that's why some people still send those ominous text messages with a period at the end.

Synchronous communication also gives us immediate feedback when our conversation partners use "backchanneling".

Nodding, saying "Mm hm," "Okay," or "Really," while other people are speaking gives them real-time confirmation that they're being heard and understood.

And speaking of nods, synchronous conversation is full of gesture.

The ways we move our bodies, especially our hands when speaking can add emotional context to the words we're saying and even convey ideas not easily expressed through speech,

like when you're trying to come up with a word but you can't quite... y'know.

Some gestures which linguists call emblems carry meaning without us having to speak at all, like a thumbs up for yes or shaking your head for no.

Gestures help a listener more fully understand what a speaker is trying to say.

But research shows that gesture also helps the speaker with cognition and fluency.

Blind speakers, even those who have never seen gestures produced will regularly gesture when speaking.

But even without these linguistic tools, asynchronous communication has its own advantages.

A time gap between conversational turns can give us space to look up extra information, double check our spelling and read over our message a time or five to really perfect what we want to say.

Asynchronous communication can also do away with filler words, those ums and likes, and you knows, we use when we're trying to complete a thought.

Fillers serve a useful linguistic purpose when we're thinking, but not done speaking.

They let others know that it's still our conversational turn, but since no one is likely to interrupt you when you're writing a letter, there's no need to fill the pauses while you find the words you're looking for.

With all these differences in synchronous and asynchronous communication, it's no wonder that sending an email to your coworker feel so fraught.

Especially in this always online, work from home era, written communication doesn't feel quite so asynchronous anymore.

Text messages may technically be asynchronous but if you've ever been left on read, you know that we send texts with the hope of getting quick replies and even having exchanges in real-time.

Same thing with instant messaging apps like Slack, Teams or Discord.

If your boss Slacks you a question instead of sending it in an email,

it probably feels like they want an immediate response.

Conversely, supposedly synchronous forms like cell phone and Zoom calls tend to have a slight delay that can throw a wrench into the normal conversational flow.

People are more likely to talk over each other and backchanneling and filler words are less precise to use which means that the ways that, sorry.

No, no, you go.

Oh, okay.

I was just gonna say that the ways we communicate start to blend our toolkits for asynchronous and synchronous communication.

Take the length and formality of conversational turns.

Some people message in long paragraphs with full punctuation while others send off several quick bursts of texts in a row.

Text reactions like pinning an exclamation point or a haha to another person's message can also function as a form of backchanneling.

According to linguists Lauren Gawne and Gretchen McCullough, we're even using emojis as a form of gesture, both literally like the thumbs up, clapping hands or fingers crossed emoji.

And in more figurative and innovative ways.

We don't have an IRL equivalent of the upside down smiley face, or a string of flame emojis but they have broadly understood meanings and text form.

As McCullough writes, "These emojis don't stand in for individual words. Instead, they make writing feel a lot more like talking."

We can take some of these semi-synchronous toolsinto other contexts where they can be useful.

Think voice notes, which add intonation back to asynchronous text conversations or a Zoom call where instead of taking yourself off mute just to say mmm, you can now react with an emoji.

As the tools and timelines we use to communicate change, the ways we use language are evolving right along with them.

And while we've all felt the friction of switching between asynchronous, asynchronous and semi-synchronous tools,

we're developing our linguistic toolkits to be able to communicate more clearly all the time.

See?