So that wasn't very cool because it came down mid-thigh and apparently back in the day that was called the John Stockton.

And the same kid next to me, that bully next to me, he was like, "Hey, hey, look at it. Hey, don't wear your pants like that, pull your pants down, man, pull your pants down."

And I was like, "Who's the gay one now?"

But I didn't know what to do.

Everybody was looking at me and this kid kept saying pull your pants down.

So I was like, "Oh, I've seen Shawshank Redemption, maybe that's just how it works in America."

So I start pulling down my shorts all the way down to my knees, all the way down to my ankle.

And the same kid, the bully next to me is like, "Hey, what are you doing? Don't pull him down all the way. That's gay."

And I'm like, "What is not gay in this country?"

And apparently this other kid next to me, he is like, "Hey, don't pull them down all the way, just sag them a little bit. Just sag your pants."

And I didn't know what sagging your pants meant.

Apparently, that's a cool hip-hop thing to pull your pants down halfway down your butt.

So you show everybody your asshole.

And apparently that's the only not gay way to wear your pants in America.

I had no idea.

All these weird American things I wasn't used to.

Eventually, I learned how to speak English by watching a lot of TV, mainly BET "Rap City."

Because that was my shit. I want to be cool and nothing cooler than BET "Rap City," right?

Every music video was a slice of somebody's American dream.

The first music video I saw was Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'."

Do you guys remember that shit? Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"was the greatest music video of all time.

It was Jay-Z and his boys on a yacht, pouring champagne on this beautiful woman's face for like four minutes.

I was like, "This is America? It's amazing!"

That's all I wanted to do.

Like before I even wanted to get into stand-up. That's all I wanted to do.

I want to be a rapper.

I want to be like Jay-Z in "Big Pimpin'".

So I started my own rap group in high school.

It's a true story.

It was me, my black friend Julian and my other friend Yugi, who was half black and half Japanese.

So we had perfectly 1.5 black dudes and 1.5 Asian dudes. And we called ourselves the Yellow Panthers.

I know, I wish I was making up but I'm not.

The Yellow Panthers was a real rap group and we had a real rap song.

It was called Underground Railroad Builder.

I was confused.

Eventually, I became a good Asian-American and I went to school to get an economics degree because that was the easiest degree that can still appease my Asian parents.

But then after I graduated, I didn't want to do like econ or finance.

So I went up to my dad, I was like, "Dad, I don't want to do any of this. I want to go try to do stand-up."

And he was like, "What's a stand-up? (Do) you mean like a talk show?"

I was like, "Yeah, sure, talk show, whatever you want to call it. Ok? But I want to go pursue my dreams."

And he was like, "No, pursue your dreams how you become homeless?"

I was like, "No, no, Dad, Dad. Things are different now. We're in America. Ok? In America, we're supposed to do what we love".

He was like, "No, everyone does what they hate for money and use the money to do what they love."