[drum roll]

-Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus!

My name is Caine!

I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you

the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia

you've ever laid your eyes upon!

Isn't that right, Bubble? -That's right, Caine!

I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.

-Well, let's not waste any time.

Let's get right into the show.

-? Gangle and Zooble and Kinger, too ?

? Ragatha, Jax, and there's Kaufmo, woohoo ?

? Day after day after -- day after -- day after day we fly?

? Past the moon and the sun and we don't know why ?

-W-W-Whe-- Wh-- Where am I?

[wails]

Ah!

[flower pot banging rapidly ]

[all groaning, grunting] [music slows, stops]

-Caine, is this one of your NPCs, or is this a new sucker?

'Cause if it's a new character,

we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.

[Zooble]: I'm not doing that again. -My, my!

It appears a new human has entered this realm!

-How do I... take this...

headset off?!

-Just keep grabbing at it.

That worked for all of us.

-[groans, gasps]

W-What's going on?

I-I-I put on some weird headset,

and now I'm...

here.

Who are you people?

Why can't I take it off? Where am I?

-Let's just try to calm down.

Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff.

We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to--

-What the [boing!] is going on?!

Wha-- -Now, now, now, my dear.

We can't have any of that foul language around here.

The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages.

You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders

where anything can happen!

E-Except for swearing.

-[honk!] [squeak!] [boing!] [bonk!]

[awooga!] [boink!] [shloompf!] [pop!] [splat!] [boi-oi-oing!]

[boink!]

Oh, my God.

U-Uh, well, h-how do I...

you know, leave?

-Uh--

-W-Well, don't freak out about it or anything,

but, uh, we don't exactly...

-You can't. -What?

[Zooble]: Shut up, Jax.

But, yeah, he's right.

Welcome to your new home.

And your new body.

-"N-N-New home"?

What do you mean?

-Guys, don't be mean.

-We've been stuck here for years.

Old Kinger over there's supposedly been here the longest.

[Kinger]: Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?

-That's why he's crazy.

[chuckles] Eh.

-[panting]

Ohhhh, okay! Now I get it!

This is a dream,

and I should just play along until I wake up, right?

-Whatever you say, kid.

-They broke my comedy mask...

-So, Caine... -[whimpers]

-...We having a new adventure today for the newbie, or what?

-I'd like to give our brand new member

a tour of the circus grounds first.

-Uh-- -Off we go!

Here, we have...

This is where your living quarters are,

as well as all sorts of other activities!

These activities may include...

[dial-up tone blares]

...Ball pits, mini golf, and more!

And here, we have...

Drown yourself in the digital lake

or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!

Night, day, it's all okay!

The choice is yours! A cosmic buffet!

-Uh, is...that all there is?

-Of course not.

This is THE VOID!

We don't venture out into the void.

[spooky voice] Not even I know what's out there.

-That's, uh-- -We stay right here, where I can keep my...

[dramatic voice] ...hundreds of all-seeing eyes on you.

-[soft voice] Hello, Caine. I love you.

-Eaugh! Let's get outta here before the moon gets frisky.

-Wait, what's that--

Blegh!

-Whoa, clean up on aisle you!

-I'm on it, boss!

[slurping]

-Why are you like this?

-[groans] Wait, wait!

W-Was that an exit door I saw out there?

Is that a way to leave? -What exit?

If there was a way to leave, I'm pretty sure we'd have all left by now.

[gagging] [Zooble]: Yeah, what are you talking about?

-U-Uh, I -- [clears throat]

I assure you, there is no "magical exit door."

You're probably just experiencing...

From your mind's transition to the digital plane.

-But, I-I swear, I saw -- -[frantic] Digital hallucinations!

How about we talk about something else?

Like your name! -My name?

My name is, uh...

U-U-Uh?! Oh, God!

Why can't I remember my name?!

-Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus.

One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds.

So, all I can help you with is coming up with a new one.

-[groaning] What's my name?

-Don't you worry your little head.

Your new name can be anything!

Hereby acknowledging that your chosen name and or names may not breach the Digital Circus user license agreement

stating that your name may not include objectionable content.

Objectionable content includes but is not limited to sexually explicit materials,

obscene, defamatory, libelous, slanderous, violent, and/or unlawful content or profanity.

What are ya thinkin'? -Huh?

I don't care. Just pick anything.

-Let's see!

[wheel dinging]

What do you think of... [stammers phonetic sounds]

-I don't-- -You're right, terrible. Let's try that again.

What do you think of "Pomni"?

-Huh? Uh, s-sure.

I think I just- -Gadzooks, you're right, Jax!

We should have a brand new adventure for our new member, Pomni!

-I said that like five minutes ago.

-You! Do you like adventure?

Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony?

Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?

-[chomp!]

-You parasite!

-Uh, I don't really...

-Since you're new around here, we're gonna make it a simple in-house adventure

to warm you up to how things work around here.

[Zooble]: Wha-- No! God!

I don't want an in-house adventure.

-Don't worry, Zooble.

I'll make it something unobtrusive that you can still choose to not get involved with.

Today's adventure is...

[cackling maniacally]

That's right!

The entire circus tent will be infested with gloinks,

and you gotta catch 'em all.

-But what are they? -I'm glad you asked, Bubble.

They're small -- -And what do they do?

-They -- -And how do they --

-Gloinks are small mischievous critters

that steal anything and everything they run into.

Why do these humanoid hash browns do this?

How do you stop them?

That's for you to find out.

Now, good luck.

And have fun, my little superstars!

-What did any of that mean?

-Oh, that's just one of Caine's little adventures.

They're just something fun to do to, you know...

prevent us from going insane. [chuckles nervously]

[Zooble]: [sighs] Speak for yourself.

If anyone needs me, then [sproing!] off.

Oh, God! Oh, jeez! No!

[gloinks boinging, squeaking]

Oh, God! Agh!

Somebody help!

-[bored] Oh, no, they killed Zooble.

Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?

-Oh, wait -- we should go check on Kaufmo.

I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

[Kinger]: My impenetrable fortress!

-You wanna come with us to check on Kaufmo?

[Kinger]: No, not really.

I think Kaufmo's gone insane.

Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit.

Kind of like you, Pomni.

You might be going insane, too.

-But, wait -- wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?

-Could also mean you just have a jump-start on losing your mind.

-[quietly] Wait, what about Zooble?

-Well, I think I'd like to ask him about it --

U-Uh, if this was real.

Which it isn't, because it's a dream.

-Heh, she still thinks this is a dream.

-U-Uh, why are you looking at me like that?

-I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.

Ow! Okay, I've already had enough of these things.

[sighs] You, me, and Pomni will go check on Kaufmo,

which leaves Crybaby and Hoo-ha together

to go handle the Zooble situation.

-[laughs nervously] Do you think pairing them up together is a good idea?

-Of course I do.

They're the two most mentally stable and capable characters to be paired together.

Come on, ladies -- let's go harass the clown.

-My comedy mask is broken again.

[Kinger]: Gah! Oh!

Gangle, you startled me.

-So, this is where we all live --

or, well, where we all sleep at night.

Even though we don't really need to sleep,

it's sometimes nice to kind of take a break from everything

and have a bit of a routine, you know?

I'm sure there'll be one for...

Oh, look -- you already got one.

-I still don't understand about the adventures.

Why even go on them at all?

W-W-Why not try to find a way to leave?

-Well, we usually do -- when we first arrive.

But after a while, you start to realize that you really can't leave

and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a bit crazy.

And eventually, you get to asking what the point of anything is,

and you completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive.

And when you reach your breaking point, something really terrible can happen.

Ah, but that's not something we need to deal with today.

Above anything else, the adventures give us something to do

that keeps our minds healthy and stimulated. [doorbell rings]

-Thank goodness this is all a dream, right, Pomni?

[unsettling musical sting]

-[gasps] Why are we here again?

What are we doing? -We're getting one of our friends.

[doorbell rings]

Huh. Maybe he's not in his room?

I hope he's all right. -Don't worry, dollface.

I've got a key to his room.

-Wha-- Wait, wh-- why?

You -- You -- You shouldn't have keys to anyone's room.

-Nah, I've got keys everywhere, and you've all been fine.

By the way, I may have left something in your room today,

so let me know if you find it.

Uh, you're not afraid of centipedes, are you?

-Jax! That's literally my only fear! Why would you do this?!

-What? It could be a completely unrelated question.

You'll never know until it's too late.

[dramatic music plays]

[static crackling] [Pomni whimpers]

-Oh, I've been looking for this.

Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufy.

I'm gonna head out. See ya.

-[nervously] Oh! Kaufmo's been abstracted!

That -- That's okay.

-What... is that? -[Kaufo growls]

-Uh, it might be that terrible thing I was talking about earlier