Yeah, good, good.

很好，很好。

I love travelling, too, and I was just in Florida performing stand-up comedy,

我也喜歡旅行，我剛到佛羅里達，表演單口相喜劇，

and I have to tell you, Florida is stuck in the '80s.

我必須告訴你，佛羅里達還停留在 80 年代。

So, I had to tell them, you know, stop smoking indoors, stop blaring Phil Collins, and most of all, stop calling me "oriental woman..."

所以，我不得不告訴他們，你知道的，停止在室內吸菸、停止大聲喧嘩菲爾-柯林斯、 最重要的是別再叫我「東方女人......」

And start calling me "Japanese goddess."

而是叫我「日本女神」。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Um, my mother in Japan is also stuck in the '80s.

嗯，我在日本的母親也停留在 80 年代。

She told me, "Yumi, I want you to remember this: behind every great man, there is a great woman. I want you to find a nice Japanese man, become a great wife, and become a great mother."

她對我說：「由美，我要你記住這一點： 每一位成功的男人的背後都有一位偉大的女性。 我希望你找個不錯的日本男人嫁了，成為一個好妻子，成為一位偉大的母親。」

I listened to her very carefully and said, "Screw that."

我認真地聽她說，然後說：「去他的。」

And I moved to Canada.

然後我搬到了加拿大。

And became a stand-up comedian.

併成為了一名單口喜劇演員。[笑聲]

So, I live in Vancouver now.

所以，我現在住在溫哥華。

I love Vancouver.

我愛溫哥華。

Vancouver is a beautiful city, but nothing compared to Winnipeg.

溫哥華是一座美麗的城市，但與溫尼伯市相比，就小巫見大巫了。

Well, when I walk streets in Vancouver, lots of creepy white men come and ask me, "Konnichiwa, do you want to go for sushi sometime?"

好吧，當我在溫哥華的街道上行走時，許多怪怪的白人男子來問我：「Konnichiwa，你想要一起去吃壽司嗎？」

I think it's slightly racist-- like, 75% racist.

我覺得這有點種族歧視，大概75%的種族歧視。

Well, let me explain.

好吧，讓我來解釋一下。

For example, when I see an attractive, let's say, a Mexican guy, would I go and say, "Ola, do you want me to help you pay for the wall?"

比如說，當我看到一個有魅力的，假如說一個墨西哥人好了，我會對他說：「你好，你想讓我幫你支付「牆」的費用嗎？」

I wouldn't say that, because it's racist.

我不會這樣說，因為這是種族歧視。

So maybe next time when I see a creepy white man comes to me, I would say, "Hey, you creepy white man with awkward social skills, with borderline autism, with halitosis, and funky body smell...

也許下一次當我看到一個怪怪的白人向我走來時，我會說：「嘿，你這個怪怪的白人，社交能力很差、患有邊緣自閉症、有口臭、和奇怪的體味......

maybe you want to go to Japan and try to teach English there?"

也許你想去日本教英語？」

Because that's what 75% of creepy white men do.

因為 75% 的猥瑣白人都會這麼做。