And sure, who doesn't love recreating the feeling of being trapped inside an active volcano?

當然，誰不喜歡重現被困在活火山裡的感覺？

I don't understand the appeal of a sauna.

我不明白桑拿房有什麼吸引力。

Here's every experience I've had in a sauna.

以下是我在三溫暖室的所有經歷。

I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna get a sweat going, it's gonna be really good for me. Here we go. It's time to get out, right?

我想：「好吧，我要出一身汗，這對我真的很有好處。 好了，是時候出去了，對吧？

I don't wanna overdo it."

我不想做被烤過熟。」

What is so relaxing about sitting in a hot box next to a pile of smoldering rocks?

坐在一堆悶燒的岩石旁的熱箱裡有什麼讓人如此放鬆的呢？

I always look at the rocks like, "Whoever's cookin' the rocks, they're done. That's a wrap on the rock cookin'."

我總是看著岩石，就像，「無論誰在烹飪岩石，他們都完成了。那是在烹飪岩石上的包裹。」

And to make the sauna more enjoyable, you're always seated next to a naked, 80-year-old man.

為了讓桑拿變得更加愉快，你總是坐在一個赤裸裸的 80 歲老人旁邊。

"Oh, good, I get to sweat next to someone's grandpa who's only wearing a hand towel."

「哦，太好了，我可以在一個只戴著毛巾的爺爺旁邊出汗。ㄉ』

The nudity in the sauna seems unnecessary.

桑拿房裡的裸體似乎沒有必要。

This isn't Rome.

這裡不是羅馬。

I just look around the sauna like, "Wow... so this is why we wear clothes, huh?"

我環顧桑拿房「哇...這就是我們穿衣服的原因，是吧？"

So we may eventually eat.

所以，我們最終可能會吃東西。

In Finland--In Finland where they invented the sauna, they relax in Finland by drinking vodka in the sauna.

在芬蘭－在芬蘭，桑拿是他們發明的，芬蘭人在桑拿裡喝伏特加來放鬆。

Which might explain why we've never read any Finnish literature.

這也許可以解釋為什麼我們從未讀過任何芬蘭文學作品。

Vodka in the sauna?

在桑拿房裡喝伏特加？

Actually, the Fins, they pronounce it, "Sao-na" 'cause they're wasted.

事實上，芬蘭人，他們發音為“Sao-na”，因為他們喝醉了。

"You wanna go to the 'sao-na' and drink some 'bodka'?"

（口齒不清）「你想去『桑拿』喝點『伏特加』嗎？」

Drinking vodka in a sauna?

在桑拿房裡喝伏特加？

You know what kind of ideas you come up with?

你知道你能想出什麼樣的點子嗎？

An M&M store.

一家 M&M 商店。

In Finland, I was invited to take a sauna.

在芬蘭，我被邀請去洗三溫暖。

I was also invited to go cross-country skiing and all I could think is, "Is fun illegal here?"

我還被邀請去越野滑雪，我滿腦子想的就是「樂趣在這是非法的嗎？」

Like what kind of antidepressant do you have to be on to enjoy cross-country skiing?

例如你必須服用哪種抗憂鬱藥物才能享受越野滑雪？

I can't believe cross-country skiing's even a sport.

我不敢相信越野滑雪的甚至是一項運動。

"Hey, you know that awkward part in downhill skiing where you're trying to get over to the lift?

「嘿，你知道速降滑雪中你試圖爬上電梯的那個尷尬的部分嗎？

What if we just did that?

如果我們就這樣做呢？

This is fun! And to turn around--"

這很有趣！然後轉身⋯⋯」

"You know what? Don't turn around. Let's go across the country."

「你知道嗎？別回頭。我們滑去全國各地吧。」

People who enjoy winter seem mentally unstable.

喜歡過冬的人似乎精神不穩定。

Right? Some of those winter activities should get you committed.

對不對？其中一些冬季活動應該能讓你下定決心。

It's like, "Look, we love you, we're just worried.

就像「聽著，我們愛你，我們只是擔心你。

I mean, yesterday we caught you walking through the woods with tennis rackets tied to your feet.

我的意思是，昨天我們發現你腳上綁著網球拍穿過樹林。

This morning, we saw you sweeping the frozen lake.

今天早上，我們看到你在掃蕩結冰的湖面。

What's next? You sitting in a sled being pulled by dogs? Get some help."

接下來呢？你坐在雪橇上被狗拉著？ 找人幫忙。」

Oh, I did one of those genetic tests.

哦，我做了一個基因測試。

I was surprised to find out I'm all Asian.

我驚訝地發現自己是很亞洲人。

You do learn things from those genetic tests.

你確實能從基因測試中學到一些東西。

Like I discovered I wasted 100 bucks.

就像我發現我浪費了 100 塊錢一樣。

They send you information. Mine just said, "Dude, you're white. In fact, you're very white. I hope you feel guilty."

他們向你發送訊息。 我的只是說，「兄弟，你是白人。事實上，你非常白。我希望你感到內疚。」

They didn't even break down my nationality.

他們甚至沒有細分我的國籍。

They just highlighted all the British Isles. They're like, "You're trash from here. Wherever people need sunscreen."

他們只是突出了整個不列顛群島。他們說：「你是這裡的垃圾。 人們需要防曬霜的地方。」

But what do we expect to learn from these genetic tests?

但是，我們希望從這些基因檢測中瞭解到什麼呢？

Like, "Oh, my gosh! I'm related to my ancestors!"

比如：「哦，天哪，我和我的祖先有血緣關係！」

We're only gonna find out bad news.

我們只會發現壞消息。

You see it in the commercials.

你可以在廣告中看到這一點。

I thought I was Italian, but it ends up, my great-grandma was a whore.

我還以為我是意大利人，但結果還是一樣、我的曾祖母是個妓女。

So I guess I'm Eastern European.

所以我想我是東歐人。

Sometimes people think I'm saying Eastern Europeans are whores and...

有時人們以為我在說東歐人是妓女和...

I am. No.

我是。沒有

My point is, only good family news is passed along.

我的觀點是，只有好的家庭故事才會傳遞下去。

Like, if your great-grandfather was Abraham Lincoln, you'd already know that,

比如，你的曾祖父是亞伯拉罕-林肯，你早就會知道，

but if your great-grandfather was the town drunk, your grandpa's likely to go, "Uh, I don't remember.

但如果你的曾祖父是鎮上的酒鬼，你爺爺可能會說：「呃，我不記得了。

I think he worked in a bar. Chief gutter inspector."

我想他在酒吧工作過。排水溝總檢查員。」

I do know I have some Irish ancestry, but, apparently, the Irish didn't keep great records 'cause, well, draw your own conclusion.

我確實知道我有一些愛爾蘭血統，但是，顯然，愛爾蘭人沒有留下很好的記錄，因為，好吧，得出你自己的結論。

Something tells me they weren't busy sunbathing.

直覺告訴我，他們並沒有忙著享受日光浴。

I'm Irish, but I have blonde hair.

我是愛爾蘭人，但我有一頭金髮。

Supposedly, the only reason the Irish have blonde or red hair is 'cause the Vikings invaded, pillaged, and probably other stuff.

據說，愛爾蘭人有金髮或紅髮是因為維京人入侵了，還可能有其他東西。

Those Vikings, the Scandinavians, I don't know if you've been to Sweden, it's like a whole country of Scarlett Johanssons.

那些維京人，斯堪的納維亞人、我不知道你是否去過瑞典，整個國家都是史嘉蕾·喬韓森。

If I was in Ireland at that time, I would've been, "Oh, no, some Viking ladies coming to pillage me.

如果我當時在愛爾蘭，我會說：「哦，不，一些維京女士來搶劫我。

I guess I'll hide on this bed covered in rose petals. Hopefully she can help me put together that table."

我想我會躲在這張鋪滿玫瑰花瓣的床上。 希望她能幫我整理那張桌子。」