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  • Ohwow.

  • I'll be honest, I wasn't really expecting to reach this milestone so soon.

  • Sorry this video is coming a little later than I actually hit 10,000 subscribers; I

  • did make my preparations as early as possible but I evidently miscalculated when I would

  • need it finished by.

  • I suppose now, though, this can be a bit of a holiday treat!

  • Thank you all, so much for helping me get this far.

  • As something of a celebration, I'm going to be talking about a particular character

  • that is at the center of much of my love for the series as a whole.

  • It's going to be a bit of a long one, because of how much I have to say about it, both in

  • canon and the realm of my mind.

  • I don't think it's a secret that I adore Hollyleaf.

  • She is my favorite character, not just in Warriors but across all media I've consumed,

  • and my feelings about her have only grown as I've had more years to think about her

  • in her canon portrayal, potential alternative routes for her journey to take, and more recently,

  • how to go about changing her character and story slightly for Paws of Stars to make her

  • everything I ever dreamed for her to be.

  • Fair warning that this video will talk about the direction I think Hollyleaf's story

  • was going in, the points that could have changed, and my interpretation of her character, and

  • all of that will very much be spoilers for what has already been released for Paws of

  • Stars, albeit absent of context.

  • If there was one thing that kept me unquestionably tied to and in love with the arcs I'm now

  • rewriting in the decade leading up to Paws of Stars, it would be Hollyleaf, in the stories

  • I saw for her, the lessons she taught me, and the impact she had on my life and view

  • of myself.

  • There's a reason I love her so much.

  • Even when we first met her as a kit, Hollykit already had a strong personality.

  • She was a stickler for the rules and pretty ambitious as well, wanting to be a medicine

  • cat primarily because of how prominent and essential it would make her in the clan.

  • Yet she also got into play fights with her brothers against her better judgment and followed

  • them to find a fox cub, outside of camp, even when she knew it was explicitly going against

  • orders from the warriors and warrior code.

  • As an apprentice, she finds the job of a medicine cat to be much more difficult and herself

  • to be more squeamish than she had expected, but she doesn't immediately give up, even

  • as she finds little to no satisfaction or success in it.

  • Her brute force method continues until Brook intervenes and explains, using an anecdote

  • from the Tribe, that maybe she should follow her talents rather than work endlessly at

  • something she both isn't good at and that doesn't bring her joy.

  • She also reminds Hollypaw that respect and importance come from proving yourself as an

  • individual, not by holding an important position.

  • In canon, Hollypaw had also been exposed to fighting at this point and found it to be

  • both exhilarating and something that she was naturally gifted in, which further pushed

  • her into agreeing with Brook, but even in my version where she was trying to spend as

  • much time in the medicine den as she could and was still failing, the idea of a life

  • that might be easier and more fulfilling for her is enough to finally convince her to train

  • as a warrior instead.

  • However, in my version, this also comes with the promise that she'll still make herself

  • important, as a warrior, an arbiter of the warrior code like she had been as a kit, and

  • maybe even a mentor, deputy, and leader one day.

  • Canon then sees her, the strictest code-follower we've seen yet, disobey the code and her

  • leader to sneak onto Riverclan territory, talk to her friend Willowpaw, and find out

  • what's wrong in Riverclan.

  • From what we have seen so far, Hollypaw is someone who cares deeply about following the

  • warrior code, but often breaks it herself if she can find some justification to.

  • She wants to help others but finds fighting and critiquing others to be much easier.

  • And, while she goes on quite a lot about wanting to do good and just help her clan as much

  • as she can, what she consistently places value and passion in isn't selfless aid, but importance

  • and glory.

  • She doesn't just want to help, she wants to succeed and be looked on favorably for

  • it.

  • This isn't even something she wholly recognizes herself, which can lead to a lot of hypocritical

  • behavior, such as her continuously berating Lionpaw for meeting Heatherpaw when she did

  • something that is at least similar, though not identical, with Willowpaw herself.

  • Now, some would say, even with some level of accuracy if we're referring to the canon

  • material, that Hollypaw's portrayal so far has been and continues to be inconsistent,

  • and a marker of the Erins' inability to grasp who she was yet; Vicky has openly admitted

  • since that she only came to understand Hollyleaf around the time of Eclipe or Long Shadows,

  • which was far too late to build up any foreshadowing or grounding in a character arc that could

  • have used that murder as its midpoint.

  • I wholly accept all of that, but it's also the very reason I was drawn to Hollypaw this

  • early.

  • Whether by accident or on purpose, Hollypaw has a series of different motives, some known

  • to her and some not, that are causing her to act in contradictory ways, and that is

  • wildly intriguing to me.

  • The way I see it, Hollyleaf's core motive is being recognized, respected, or loved,

  • and different influences in her life have taught her the ways in which that is achieved.

  • Ferncloud & Dustpelt, who I believe could have both been larger parts in her life since

  • Squirrelflight didn't spend as much time in the nursery, taught her that respect came

  • from upholding the warrior code.

  • Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, and even Firestar showed her that heroism is what gets you respect,

  • and they also gave her a nobel legacy to uphold, one she is choosing to take on rather than

  • one being thrust on herNightheart.

  • But clan culture itself also influences her.

  • It tells her that some roles are simply more valued than others, like medicine cats and

  • deputies, and that your value as a cat is in what you can give your clan.

  • As a result of this, Hollypaw ends up with a lot of ambition.

  • But where is it meant to be directed?

  • She doesn't, at least yet, have a motive to be anything in particular other than important

  • (much like Brambleclaw, actually) but she locks on to being a medicine cat primarily

  • because it's the earliest way to make yourself different and important.

  • Failing that, she finds she likes fighting.

  • Is she good at fighting?

  • Other cats say so.

  • Well then she'll get as far as she can with fighting!

  • She'll be the best warrior now and, again, in my version, the arbiter of the code.

  • Rather than even necessarily wanting a position of power, like Brambleclaw, Hollypaw grasps

  • tightly to what is unique about herself, which is why Brook's talk spoke to her so deeply,

  • as it showed her a path to getting her recognized and loved.

  • Her time as a medicine cat and refusal to give up even when she wasn't getting anywhere

  • also demonstrated that she's very stubborn, something she probably picked up from both

  • of her parents, which leads her to follow relentlessly down the path she is constructing

  • for herself as soon as it is formed, both in actions and thoughts, and even when she's

  • actively going against the code that is a part of that identity.

  • Remember that the true goal is being recognized, so saving the clan from a fox cub, saving

  • Riverclan, stopping a war between Riverclan and Windclan or, later, Thunderclan and Windclan,

  • all of these take priority over the code because they would make her the hero if she succeeds.

  • Now, you might simply not like this characterization as it stands, and find Hollypaw's behavior

  • or effect on characters like Lionpaw to be grating, annoying, frustrating, or even mean.

  • That's absolutely fine.

  • Not every character is going to appeal to every person, but if you can get past her

  • at this stage, you have the opportunity to see her grow.

  • There is a very complex individual here if you piece her together and characters that

  • have this level of contradictory motives and aimless, amoral drives have a strong potential

  • to break and be repaired in a way that is not only interesting, but moving, as this

  • is the sort of slip anyone could fall into, not just fantasy people who areborn evil

  • like Brokenstar.

  • So now that we've settled the baseline of her characterization and potential, let's

  • talk about her relationships.

  • As I said in my ahem, *very* old video, Hollyleaf has more interpersonal relationships than

  • either of her brothers, and is generally an active, outgoing, extroverted cat who seeks

  • out interactions and relationships with others frequently.

  • I believe this could easily tie back into her desire to be recognized, as the more people

  • you're friends with, the more people are likely to notice and like you, but it also

  • just feels good to be surrounded by others sometimes.

  • Cinderheart and Willowshine are her only concrete friends, in canon, outside her family and

  • even they faded in and out at different periods of her life.

  • Hazeltail interacted with her extensively, but only for the duration of Sunrise, and

  • most of her other connections, at least her positive ones, are brief.

  • I obviously endeavored to give every cat in my rewrite a greater network of connections

  • and more consistent interactions with those connections, but for Hollyleaf in particular,

  • how she deals with her connections is often telling of her mental state.

  • When she is at her best, she will actively seek out her friends to help and be praised

  • by them, but if she is doing poorly, she draws away from them since, as I mentioned earlier,

  • she places her value as a cat in her ability to give to her clan and live up to the legacies

  • and expectations set up around her.

  • This is why I not only solidified her existing friendships and the semi-parental relationship

  • she had with Ferncloud, now Ferncloud and Dustpelt, but also gave her Thornclaw as a

  • mentor rather than Brackenfur, because he is someone she could connect to much more

  • deeply and whose relationship with her would have quite an interesting progression because

  • of her medicine cat training, his harsh work ethic, and eventually, her murder of his best

  • friend Ashfur.

  • I discussed this decision and Thornclaw's own story with greater depth in his own dedicated

  • video, but I will save further details for a later day.

  • While I'm on the topic of relationships, I probably can't avoid talking about her

  • relationship with Sol, but this is something I went into much more extensively in my video

  • on the tom in question.

  • At this point you might notice just how many of my videos and interests have been dancing

  • around the topic of Hollyleaf all this time.

  • Sol works as a perfect foil for Hollyleaf at multiple important stages of her journey

  • as another powerless orator who seeks personal glory and validation while hurting others

  • along the way.

  • Her falling into actions that he would take or finally breaking from his chain and choosing

  • to go against him work as a great symbols of her current progression and growth.

  • But of course you can watch the Sol video if you want more details on that.

  • Moving to another point then, over the years I've often heard that Hollyleaf's murder

  • of Ashfur and actions at the gathering don't make sense because she killed Ashfur to keep

  • the secret of her parentage but then told it herself.

  • I think this misconception may have originated in the more animation-focused part of the

  • community since, when you squish so much of Hollyleaf's story into one two to four minute

  • period, it does look like a quick transition without the opportunity for details of the

  • situation or motives based on them to have shifted.

  • However, the reality is that an entire book, exactly a moon of time from one gathering

  • to the next, passed between Ashfur's murder and Hollyleaf revealing their secret at the

  • gathering, and even in canon, one very important piece of information was revealed in that

  • time: who Hollyleaf's parents were.

  • Ashfur only discovered that Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw weren't their birth parents.

  • When Hollyleaf killed him, she was preventing a random, unnecessary scandal that would start

  • rumors about Thunderclan's, and her, true character without any need.

  • No one actually knew who their parents were.

  • It could have been two other Thunderclan cats who just broke up and decided not to stay

  • together; it could have been random cats outside the territories who left their kittens by

  • the border.

  • There were a number of possibilities that wouldn't ultimately be as bad, for Hollyleaf

  • and her brothers at least, and that would still get their names tossed around among

  • the other clans for no reason.

  • That doesn't mean that she was *right* in killing him though, as I've seen other people

  • say.

  • If she, or anyone, had come to Firestar, Brambleclaw, Sandstorm, Dustpelt, anyone really about exactly

  • what had happened with Ashfur in the fire, I highly doubt that most of those cats who

  • know them so well and trusted them so deeply would condemn them, and as authority figures

  • they would have a higher chance of giving Ashfur a proper punishment that didn't have

  • to be and probably wouldn't have been death.

  • Hollyleaf chose to kill him rather than go to others for help because she's stubborn,

  • independent, and didn't want *anyone* to know Ashfur's secret, including her clan

  • leader and friends.

  • She killed him because it was the easy way out.

  • But when they learned that her parents were actually a medicine cat and a cat from another

  • clan, things changed.

  • Her birth had actually broken both the medicine cat and warrior codes, which by her logic

  • meant there was no way to ever be respected.

  • If she was breaking the code by existing, then she couldn't claim to be a follower

  • of the warrior code.

  • If she was partly from Windclan, she couldn't claim to be a loyal warrior.

  • If her heritage was really a disgraced medicine cat and a faraway father who disowned her,

  • there was no heroic symbol she was meant to live up to.

  • And of coursethere's the thing about the prophecy.

  • This really deserved its own section, because beingthe one left out of the prophecy

  • might well be the most widely known identity Hollyleaf has.

  • As far as canon is concerned, that wasn't decided until Eclipse or Long Shadows, the

  • fourth or fifth books of her arc, so not being part of the prophecy wasn't a plot point

  • that had much time to develop.

  • It didn't impact her and in fact there is no scene in the series where Hollyleaf gets

  • to find out that she doesn't have a power, something I also mentioned in my video on

  • the powers of three.

  • Even when she later returns, the focus is primarily on her being a murderer turned hero

  • rather than anything to do with the prophecy.

  • When I was given the opportunity to change her though, I obviously wanted to expand on

  • this, firstly by making the prophecy known to Lionblaze and Hollyleaf much sooner, almost

  • as soon as Jayfeather knew, and second by pushing Dovewing and Ivypool's birth and

  • apprenticeship back so that Hollyleaf could be made aware of the actual third cat during

  • her emotional spiral.

  • In my version, though it was also terrifying, the revelations in the fire scene were partially

  • a relief, because it meant that she hadn't failed to find her power; she and her brothers

  • had never been the ones in the prophecy and it was they who were wrong.

  • But when she finds out that their powers were real and it was only her left out of the prophecy,

  • her self-worth is quickly chipped away.

  • This compounded with the fact that several of her friends in my version were becoming

  • mentors instead of her when that had been a drive of hers for many moons leaves her

  • feeling quite hollow.

  • She's not chosen by Starclan but a murderer who should be left out; she's not a prized

  • warrior but one left behind and destined to never fulfil her dreams; she's not a follower

  • of the code but one whose very birth breaks the code.

  • So she shuts down, gives up, and decides that at the very least, she can't have any more

  • secrets about this.

  • Her stunt at the gathering was partially about trying to shift the blame, putting the focus

  • back on Squirrelflight and Leafpool's fault in the situation rather than on her own.

  • But her friend, Cinderheart, in both canon and my story, tells her that she was wrong

  • and that no good could have come from this.

  • So she tells herself it was all Leafpool's fault and confronts her mother, giving up

  • even further as she openly takes on the mantle of murderer to threaten Leafpool.

  • But Leafpool doesn't shy away or back down; she opens her heart and shows Hollyleaf that

  • she is already suffering, and as Hollyleaf finally sees Leafpool as a victim rather than

  • just a purpetrator, she is left bare, without anywhere to put her feelings, and runs away.

  • There was a storm that night.

  • She had already been in the tunnels when they flooded and knew how dangerous it was.

  • Yet she ran into them anyway, even as her brothers called out and begged her to come

  • back and talk.

  • Obviously the books don't have her point of view at this part of the story and we don't

  • know what she was thinking, but I have to wonder why she did that.

  • Was she simply not thinking?

  • Was it a mistake?

  • But through Jayfeather's thoughts we know she was thinking about her murder of Ashfur

  • in this moment.

  • So maybeit was intentional.

  • Maybe she saw herself as someone who didn't need to be safe anymore.

  • Maybe she was giving up.

  • And that's why, in my version of the tale, as she lays dying in the bottom of the tunnels,

  • she appears in the Dark Forest and is greeted by a cat who believes she is coming to join

  • them.

  • If Hollyleaf died in that moment, using my lore of the world, that's where she would

  • have ended up, permanently.

  • But one cat, a complete stranger, saved her from that.

  • Now we move into Hollyleaf's Story, or at least that rough period.

  • I have mixed feelings on this book that I will get into eventually when I cover it for

  • Trip Through Time, but the basic framework is one I have a lot of fondness for.

  • Fallen Leaves and Hollyleaf are both lonely, somewhat broken individuals at this point

  • for different reasons.

  • Neither of them have their families around and both of them at least feel trapped in

  • these tunnels away from home.

  • That's a solid foundation for a good relationship and opportunity for them to help each other,

  • with Fallen Leaves giving Hollyleaf a companion to talk to that isn't connected to her past

  • and with Hollyleaf giving Fallen Leaves some routine, company, and sense of direction that

  • would help his seemingly-endless exile feel less like an unchanging slog.

  • This *really* doesn't have to be a romantic relationship and honestly I don't think

  • either of them were in a good place for romance even if Hollyleaf wasn't asexual and aromantic,

  • but they could have been good for each other and shared an old friends dynamic by the end.

  • This is also the period where Hollyleaf meets and takes care of a fox cub for a single night,

  • someone she was elated to see again later until he attacked her.

  • He didn't remember her because their meeting was so short and he had been so young, but

  • it hurt Hollyleaf.

  • Now, this part is entirely about personal bias and connection but I loved this, both

  • as someone who is aromantic and still would like to raise a kid one day and in seeing

  • what taking care of someone else did for Hollyleaf.

  • She and Fallen Leaves were taking care of each other but the fox cub was someone she

  • took care of on her own; he was helpless without her.

  • For someone whose rises and falls have always been based around herself (is *she* good enough,

  • what is *her* path supposed to be, when will *she* get her power, how is *her* reputation,

  • why is *she* a bad cat) this level of caring about and being responsible for another without

  • it having anything to do with her is actually a big step.

  • I'm sure it was mostly done to fill time in the novella, but I can imagine it being

  • the turning point to helping Hollyleaf reexamine her priorities at large and it makes sense

  • that this is where she began helping Thunderclan from the shadows, because she realizes she

  • cares about them independent of the love they could give her.

  • But she does still think of herself as, ultimately, a worthless failure, and doesn't want to

  • go back.

  • Of course, when she decides to help Dovewing and Ivypool get out of the tunnels and Lionblaze

  • finds her before she can hide again, that option is taken away.

  • The cats who care about her, however ill-advised she considers that care to be, won't let

  • her go now that they know she's alive, and Brambleclaw stepped in to lie on her behalf

  • about her murder of Ashfur so few to no cats really mind having her back.

  • More than that, the skills she developed in the tunnels help them to finally defeat not

  • only Windclan, but Sol as well, so she is considered a hero.

  • And then in the next book the Dark Forest battle arrives so she fights with some cats

  • she has never formed a relationship with and dies heroically without ever making up for

  • her actions in the Power of Three arc.

  • Wahoo.

  • Okay so I'll be totally honest, uh, this is the point where I'm going to abandon

  • canon entirely because I do not like how her story was concluded.

  • In general but especially for someone whose breakdown involved sharing a secret because

  • she couldn't handle the lies her life was built on, I don't think letting Brambleclaw's

  • lie stand was a good idea.

  • This is why, in my version of the story, she stops right after the Sol battle when everyone

  • is praising her and confesses to what actually happened with Ashfur, which is given real

  • weight.

  • She is punished, not just in camp duties or solitude, but by having her reputation with

  • several figures she cares about tarnished, and she has to slowly work herself back up

  • by fixing what she can and helping the three with their journey anyway, focusing on a higher

  • cause as a way to keep going despite her personal goals having failed.

  • She has to both atone on mass by working to save the clans and help Thunderclan and individually

  • to the cats: family, friends, and other figures that she hurt.

  • But she is capable of it.

  • It will be a long and hard process, but not one she has to go through entirely on her

  • own anymore, and I believe it is a redemption arc she deserves to take.

  • We'll just have to see how that goes when I finish writing it.

  • Regardless of anything else, I will likely always love Hollyleaf.

  • Believe it or not I didn't even come close to discussing every thought I have on her

  • in this video, least of all the ways in which she connects to me and the journey I took

  • alongside her.

  • But I believe I've shown, in part, the interesting aspects of her character and growth that lead

  • me to hold her in such high regard.

  • This video was definitely long, but it is a celebration after all, not just of Hollyleaf

  • but of this channel, my story, and the opportunity all of you have given me to see this work

  • through.

  • As always, thank you, everyone, for watching, and always remember to look at yourself through

  • the eyes of others.

  • Be it too positive or too negative, relying only on your own perceptions can fog up the

  • mirror to who you really are.

Ohwow.

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