My name is Mapleshade, but you should already know that!

A fair warning before viewing:

This video contains graphic violence, animal death, flashing images, and slight cursing.

Of course, this is no problem for me, but I can understand how some of you may be uncomfortable

with this;

so viewer discretion is advised.

I hope you enjoy.

And now, without further ado,

let me introduce you to the girls.

You know how people have these little habits that get you down?

Like...

Ashfur.

Ashfur liked to chew gum.

No not chew, pop.

So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit

of sympathy.

And there's Ashfur.

Lying on the couch.

Drinking a beer and chewing.

No, not chewing.

POPPING.

So I said to him I said: "You pop that gum one more time."

..And he did.

So, I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots.

Into his head.

I met Tigerclaw from Salt Lake City about two years ago.

And he told me he was single,

and we hit it off right away.

So we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, and we'd have dinner.

And then I found out.

"Single," he told me.

Single my ass.

Not only was he married, oh no.

He had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know?

So that night when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink.. as usual.

You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

Now I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business.

In storms my husband Crowfeather in a jealous rage.

"You've been screwing the milkman!" he says.

He was crazy!

And he kept on screaming:

"You've been screwing the milkman!"

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times.

Mit kersek, en itt?

Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakóm lefogta a ferjemet

En meg Lecsaptam a fejet

De nem igaz

En artatlan vagyok

Nem tudom

Mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem

Probaltam

A rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg

Yeah, but did you do it?

Uh uh, not guilty!

My friend Reedshine and I had this double act.

And my husband Appledusk traveled around with us.

Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row:

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Split, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops, one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero.

The three of us boozing, having a few laughs.

And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door,

And there's Reedshine and Appledusk doing number 17.

The spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.

I loved Brambleclaw more than I could possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter.

But he was always trying to find himself.

He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way:

He found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irvings.

I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive;

And I saw him dead.

C minor, put it in C minor.

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?

Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white night upon a fiery steed?

Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need..

I need a hero!!