Sheldon?

Hello?

Sheldon?

Penny's sleeping.

Are you insane?

You can't just break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night and clean.

I had no choice.

I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and just outside our living room was that hallway, and immediately adjacent to that hallway was...

this.

Do you realize that if Penny wakes up, there is no reasonable explanation as to why we're here?

I just gave you a reasonable explanation.

No, no. You gave me an explanation.

Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.

Don't be ridiculous. I have no peers.

Sheldon, we have to get out of here.

You might want to speak in a lower register.

What?

Evolution has made women sensitive to high-pitched noises while they sleep, so that they'll be roused by a crying baby.

If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register.

That's ridiculous.

No. That's ridiculous.

Fine.

I accept your premise. Now, please, let's go.

I'm not leaving until I'm done.

If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.

Oh, what the hell?

Morning.

Morning.

I have to say, I slept splendidly.

Granted, not long, but just deeply and well.

I'm not surprised.

A well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break into your neighbor's apartment and clean.

Sarcasm?

You think?

Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox, but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to Penny's quality of life.

You know what? You convince me.

Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.

You don't think that crosses a line?

Yes.

For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?

You have a sarcasm sign?

No, I do not have a sarcasm sign.

You want some cereal?

I feel so good today, I'm gonna choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf.

Hello, Honey Puffs.

Son of a bitch!

Penny's up.

You sick, geeky bastards!

How did she know it was us?

I may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet.

Leonard!

God, this is gonna be bad.

Goodbye, Honey Puffs.

Hello, Big Bran.