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spring has come early to my valley and diminutive pink and white wild flowers have bloomed all over
the forest floor I tread lightly these days and with great reverence as there are so many
Treasures yet to behold I like to snatch away a few minutes on these cool mornings
before the busyness of the workday sets in to Express gratitude for all that has been
renewed I don't have much time but what I do have I value deeply and that has made all the
difference in this video I wanted to share something that I've been working on for a
very long time and that is fixing my attention span as a child I could become deeply absorbed
in things that interested me even just watching the sun through a car window engrossed in an
imaginary world of my creation everything I experienced I did so in the present moment
even if my curiosity took me somewhere else a moment later but something happened to me as
I got older and my brain got more muddled and at times I've had to take inspiration
from the better parts of my younger self and wonder how I want to spend the time I have
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[Music]
good
I'm out here just enjoying a little bit of the breeze and the Sunshine and later this
afternoon I'm going to a hair salon for the first time in a very very long time I finally
decided that um it was time to cut my hair to give my hair a chance to grow out again
so that is the plan today to work to get some time outside to take time to enjoy the spring
beauties that are growing everywhere to look out for yellow bells and blue bells cuz I'm
sure they're about to start blooming and to say hello to the honeybees I'll probably get
a little more work done but after that I'm going to go to the hair appointment and I'm
a little bit nervous so wish me luck the spring beauties are always one of the very
first flowers that come out this time of year they're very interesting actually at the very
base there is a root ball called a corn and you can eat them and I've eaten them before
in videos they are absolutely delicious I describe them as floral essenced potatoes
and it's it's a a beautiful flower with such delicate colors I love the little tiny hints of
pink as I got older I started to become more impatient focused on productivity of saving time
to get more done I was introduced to a much faster pace of Life partly through starting to use my
phone lot more I grew up with limited internet but once I entered University and started realizing I
was way behind on that front I threw myself into the online world and got my first smartphone and
don't get me wrong I think this has added to my quality of life I've connected with other kindred
spirits and learned new things been exposed to ideas and inspired but I also found how easy it
was to misuse the tools at my disposal to get to the point where I gravitated to my phone at
every dull moment scrolled for hours without even knowing what I was doing half the time or
being able to remember what I watched or learned so easily it became a way to disconnect from the
world uncomfortable emotions boring moments where I would otherwise have to spend sitting with my
own thoughts the more I used these tools in an unbalanced way the less I enjoyed being without
distractions over time my mind started to struggle to concentrate on less stimulating tasks I found I
was Finding less joy in things I used to love as a child I didn't find things as interesting as I
had I felt less peace in general often Fired Up by the latest controversial post i' had seen over the
years i' had been spending less and less time with just me and without even realizing it I had lost a
friend my ability to pay attention to things to be present and hold my my
own Focus was increasingly fragmented and unstable my mind became a buzzing bee of
activity that was relentless and constantly distracting sometimes I wanted to avoid it
all together to be clear I don't blame my phone or anything else for this change I
noticed I still love using technology of all kinds I love making videos here on YouTube
I need to connect and I enjoy every moment as long as I'm using these tools in balance
that was the key not to look at things from a black and white perspective but wonder how
can this serve me better and that answer for me was to become more intentional with how I
interact with my phone to challenge the idea that I needed to keep up with what was going
on every minute of the day and I'll be honest the more addicted I was to living online the
more distractable I became the more short my attention span I decided I needed to rethink my
lifestyle every time I get to this stage in the painting process I just feel like quitting to be
honest um and I don't really want to do anymore and um I just want to stop and never finish it
um but I'm going to try to persevere there's still a lot to do so I'm going to keep going
I did get my hair cut it is not as short as I was going to cut it but it is still quite
short I think I cut about 6 in off it um which is a lot cuz I have not cut my hair you know
drastically for many years um but yes I was going to go shorter but then the woman that was cutting
my hair reminded me that when you still have very wavy and thick hair and you cut it very
short it has a tendency to mushroom out I was inspired this week to think a little bit about
attention spans and how my ability to focus and more than that more importantly than that simply
my ability to be comfortable without huge amount of stimulation uh with just being um has been such
an important part in healing and thriving for me it's not perhaps the most exciting thing to do
with your life to just cut out highly stimulating things at certain portions of the day and training
yourself to do kind of more mindful hobbies and more boring lifestyle choices at times it's all
about balance for sure I think that technology has a wonderful and important place in our lives
if used well but I have not always used it in a healthy way at the time I think over the long
term it created this habit of not observing not looking outward as much and that was something
that was very unhealthy for me and did not lead to my long-term joy and fulfillment and
that may be completely different for you I'm not saying this is everyone's experience and
that this is an unhealthy thing for everyone um I just can can only speak my experience
[Music] oh
okay well I have procrastinated long enough it is time to finish this project if uh you want
a wonderful challenge for improving your internal dialogue and your inner life I recommend doing a
big painting project without any distractions because boy you are going to have to come to
terms with all those thoughts going through your head because you are literally watching paint dry
I'm going to get back to work but I also wanted to let you know I do have my Etsy shop open I am
not going to have it open for too much longer I am expecting baby soon so I will be closing
in several weeks and I appreciate your support there if you are interested in my art or on my
patreon where I make extra videos about simple living there of course is never any obligation
but I always like to share it as a way to support my work as an artist and this channel thank you
so much for being here I'm sending you so so much love and I'm going to go and finish this
goodbye
now many years later I'm continuing to learn how to do things differently and have made
enormous progress I've learned slowing down isn't about what's happening outside we don't
always have control over that but a shift within I'm continuing to develop a balanced relationship
with the internet not to fuel unhealthy mindsets in comparison and consumerism once I made a few
small changes I started to become more aware of what triggered unhelpful feelings and wanted to
weed that out even more and I think the best part of the process was that as I distanced myself from
the online world and balanced it the world started to seem less angry and my mind stopped feeling
exhausted all the time and I liked that taking Tak a break from information overwhelm helped my
brain reset and become more quiet more attentive it became easier to find Wonder again obviously I
love the internet but I do think it can be helpful to consider our relationships with the things we
use most in our lives and make sure they align with how we want to use the very limited time
we have this personal inquiry started me on a journey perhaps it will do the same for you