You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat.

Huh?

So, is this an audience or a mosaic?

Hey, how you doing?

Looking good.

Nice dress.

So, Hades, you finally made it.

How are things in the underworld?

Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people.

What are you going to do?

Join the celebration.

Hey, love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus, so can't.

Love to, but can't.

Kill myself.

If only, if only.

As mean as he was ruthless, and that's the gospel.

What?

The fates are here and you didn't tell me?

Anyway, see, ladies, I was at this party and I lost track of time.

We know.

I know.

You know.

So, here's the deal.

Zeus, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. Hey, you, get off of my clout.

Now he has a bouncing baby butt.

We know.

I know.

You know.

I know.

I got it.

I got the concept.

Unleash the titans, you monstrous band.

Mm-hmm, good, good.

And you, Hades, will rule all.

Yes, Sir Hades, please.

A word of caution to this tale.

Excuse me?

Okay, fine, fine.

I'm cool.

I'm fine.

Meg.

Speak of the devil.

Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut.

I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less.

It wasn't my fault.

It was this wonder boy, Hercules.

What was that name again?

Hercules.

He comes on with his big innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.

I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one schmiel who can last it up is waltzing around in the woods!

Fortunately for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight.

And this time, no foul-ups.

Stirring performance, boys.

I was really moved.

And hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady.

What a dish.

What a doll.

Guys, guys, relax.

It's only halftime, game.

Set.

Match.

Pull!

Nice shooting, Rex.

I can't believe this guy.

I throw everything I've got at him, and it doesn't even...

What are those?

I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo.

Meg, my sweet.

Don't even go there.

See, he's got to have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness.

I mean, for what, Pandora?

It was the box thing for the Trojans.

Hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?

You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath.

I'm sorry, you mind running that by me again?

I must have a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something.

Then read my lips.

Forget it.

Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet.

Minion.

Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy bit ever so crucial?

The tiny detail.

I own you!

Hear that sound?

It's the sound of your freedom, cluttering out the window forever.

I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.

This one is different.

He's honest, and he's sweet.

Please.

He would never do anything to hurt me.

He's a guy.

Ba-boom.

Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead.

Hi, how you doing?

Not now, okay?

Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds, and I'm a fast talker, all right?

See, I've got this major deal in the works, a real estate venture, if you will.

And, Herc, you little devil, may I call you Herc?

You seem to be constantly getting in the way.

You've got the wrong guy.

Give me your little...

Dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy, what do you say?

Come on.

Nah, I mean, it's a possibility.

It happens, you know, it's war, but what can I tell you?

Anyway, what are you all these people, huh?

Isn't Meg...

Isn't she more important than David?

Stop it!

Isn't she?

What do you say we shake him?

I really don't have, like, time to bat this around.

I'm kind of on a schedule here.

I've got plans for August, okay?

I need an answer, like, now.

Damn!

Uh, guys?

Olympus would be that way.

Dude!

And I think I'm gonna like it here.

Guys, get your titanic rears in gear and kick some Olympian butt!

Whoa, is my hair out?

Because our little Nat Meg has to go all noble.

You see, Meg's running with a new crowd these days and not a very lively one at that.

The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death.

Going once!

Is there a downside to this?

Going twice!

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

You get her out.

She goes.

You stay.

You know what's on my mind?

You'll be dead before you can get to her.

Hercules, stop!

You can't do this to me!

You can't!

Okay, well, I deserve that.