Ittriestoprotectyoufrom a riskoffailure, judgment, orcriticism.
How?
Bykeepingyouparalyzedsoyoudon't takeanyaction.
Becausethenyou'resafe, butyou'realsostuck.
Ifyourparentssethighstandardsforyouandexcessivelycriticizedyouwhenyoufailedtomeetthesestandards, forexample, yougotan A, whycouldn't yougetan A pluslikeyourperfectcousinJulio?
Ifyoudidn't receiveemotionalvalidationas a child, oryouhad a parentthatwashardtoplease, youmightworkreallyhardasanadulttotryandseekapprovalfromeveryonearoundyou.
Partners, peers, co-workers, yourboss.
Andthen, wheneveryoudon't receiveit, it's anautomatictriggerandyouhave a conditionedneedtowinitback.
Insteadofsaying, lookatwhathappenedtome, lookatwhattheydidtome, use a techniquecalledcognitiveshiftingandconsciouslyredirectyourattentionto, okay, thisiswhat's happeninginmylife, thisiswhere I wanttobe, andthisiswhat I'm goingtodoaboutit.
Whileoutwardlytheyappearsuccessful, allowingtheircoredrivingforcetoemanatefromthefearoffailure, envy, greed, seekingapprovalandstatus, is a provensourceofunhappiness, constantstress, and a lackoffulfillment.