Or maybe the exact opposite happens?

For example, let's say you're on a date, right, and you really really like this person, and you want the date to go well, but somehow you get really nervous, and you're not really yourself anymore, and you start acting weird, and the vibes and the chemistry is off, and then afterwards you just never hear from them ever again.

Or let's say you really want this job, and you go for the interview, and then you put so much pressure on yourself to perform well that you end up doing the exact opposite, and then you don't get called back for the next round.

Interestingly, I've also noticed that the flip side of this is true.

I've had so many instances in my life where when I just didn't give a shit about the outcome, that was when things started to work in my favor.

For example, for my whole life, I've always been so obsessed with my acne and also my body just not looking the way that I want it to.

Last year, I reached a point where I was just like, fuck it.

I don't want to care anymore.

I don't want to think about it, and clearly stressing about it has not helped me in any way.

So I just stopped thinking about it, and I just continued doing my skincare and staying consistent with health eating, healing my gut, and all of that.

And I kept showing up to the gym three, four times a week, and not even a year after that, I went from this to this, and then this to this.

It was really weird.

I felt like I just woke up one day a completely different person, and I've come to learn that this phenomenon, or whatever you want to call it, is actually related to something called the law of detachment.

I've been really interested in this topic lately because detachment is one of the hardest things to master, but once you do, no joke, it's like the ultimate unlock to improving pretty much every aspect of your life.

From your relationships, to your career success, to your fitness, and literally everything else in between.

It took me such a long time for me to get my head around it because there's a bunch of misconceptions out there about what detachment actually is, and how to successfully go about it.

But once I did, it brought me a lot of great results in so many different areas of my life, which I'll touch more on later on in this video.

Timestamps below as always because I value your time.

So what exactly is the law of detachment?

I used to think that detachment was the same as being apathetic, or being emotionally indifferent, like having a blasé attitude towards life, where you're just like, yeah whatever, I don't care what happens to me, or my career, or my relationship.

But now I've learned that actual detachment is actually releasing our desire for specific outcomes.

It's not needing for things to turn out a certain way, but at the same time you're still working towards and having a stake in that relationship, or that career, or that life outcome.

It's a balancing act of caring enough to work hard towards that goal, while still not caring too much and being overly invested, to the point where it leads to self-sabotaging behavior.

When we care a little too much, it puts a lot of pressure on us to achieve that outcome, and often this causes us to overthink and also make irrational decisions, which then ironically stops us from achieving the result that we want.

Detachment is being able to accept whatever happens, good or bad, for what it is, and trusting that you'll be okay no matter the outcome.

Basically, you won't be completely ruined and sounds like, well, you know, this relationship didn't really work out, and I mean we tried our best, but maybe it was just never meant to be, and it was always just meant to come to an end, and I'll be okay.

Or it could sound like, my YouTube video tanked this week, but you know what?

I can just try again next week, and I'll be okay.

Now you might be thinking, why is this important?

I've really come to realize that being able to detach is probably one of the greatest life skills that you can have, which is why it's something that I really want to work on this year.

Holding on to an idea just because you've become attached to it creates a lot of anxiety.

It makes us obsess over needing things to be a certain way, and if it doesn't turn out that way, then it causes us a lot of pain.

Attachment is really all about trying to gain a sense of control over the situation, but the thing is, control is an illusion because most things are out of our control.

The moment we to behave exactly the way we want them to, and for our YouTube channel to perform the way we predicted, and for our fitness journey to go exactly according to plan with zero hiccups, then that's when we can set ourselves free from this pain.

And that opens up more space for love in our relationships, and creativity in our YouTube, and also real progress in our fitness journey.

So how do we actually detach?

Detachment can be applied to pretty much every scenario and area of so that's what I'm going to use as examples.

Detachment in relationships.

So in one of my past relationships, I was really just attached to the idea of this future that we were going to have because our trajectories were so aligned, and it all seemed so perfect in theory anyway.

And that ideal future image really clouded my judgment of the reality of what the relationship was actually like in the present.

The reality was, I just felt really anxious all of the time, and I didn't feel very supported or cared for, and overall I just felt unhappy.

But I ignored all of that, and I stayed a lot longer than I should have because I was so attached to the idea of this perfect future.

I kept thinking to myself like, man this really needs to work out because otherwise the plan is going to fall apart.

Looking back, if I was just able to detach from this dream life that I had envisioned for the both of us, then I would have realized a lot sooner that I didn't need this person in order to materialize that dream life.

That I was more than capable of working towards it on my own.

And once I realized that, it gave me the strength to finally walk away from something that wasn't right for me.

The next example is about detachment with my fitness journey and looks.

So I've been on plenty of weight loss journeys, and they were either just not effective or not sustainable.

Meaning that I would lose all of the weight, but then gain it all back within six And through understanding the law of detachment, I now understand why.

I was always fixated on the way that I looked in the current moment, and how far off that was from the way that I wanted to look.

The outcome, which was the body that I really wanted, was what I got attached to.

I would do excessive amounts of cardio and under eat because by hook or by crook, I wanted to look a certain way within three months.

Which in the fitness world is an insanely short period of time.

Three months is like nothing.

And the reason why this didn't work is because I would obsessively look in the mirror every day, and if I didn't see progress at the rate at which I wanted to see it, then it would discourage me a lot.

I'd get super frustrated and just give up that day, and then I'd start eating like crap because what's the point?

None of this is working anyway.

I'd get lazy with exercising and fall off track, and that was exactly why I kept setting myself back.

And then one day, I was just like, you know what?

What if I just didn't set myself an end date?

Didn't have any expectation of where this is going to go, and how long it's going to take me, and just focus on enjoying the journey without putting any sort of pressure on myself.

And in January of 2023, that was when I hired a PT and went to the gym a few times a week.

I drastically cleaned up my diet, and I just kept going.

I just honestly didn't think or feel anything about it.

I just did it.

For nine months, I didn't take any in front of the mirror.

All I focused on was just on getting stronger, and getting better at performing certain lifts, and trying out new healthy recipes, which was honestly really fun.

And to me, I love my me time in the kitchen, where I'm just like, you know, listening to music or a podcast, and trying out something new.

And I just made sure that I was feeling good, and was having fun throughout the journey.

And then one day, nine months later, I went to a friend's place for a swim, and then when I came out in my bikini, she just kind of like looked at me and said, dude, you're like fit now.

And I was like, what?

And then we took some pictures by the pool, and mind you, these were the first progress photos, if you will, that I took since starting my fitness journey.

And when I looked at the photos, I was like, bruh, when did this happen?

Because I was just this, like not too long ago.

I posted some of the pictures on Instagram, and then got a whole I've never been called fit in my life, ever.

I was never like the athletic person or fit person in school, so honestly that day was just so surreal for me.

And that really proved to me that once I stopped caring about the outcome, and stopped being so overly attached to this dream body that I wanted, that was when I actually achieved it.

Detachment with YouTube.

Starting YouTube, I really had zero expectations from the beginning, and I told myself that, you know, if it takes me a year to get to my first thousand subscribers, then fine.

When I first started, I was doing this just for me as a passion project, to feel like I had some sort of meaning and purpose in my life, because I was so burnt out from work at the time.

Just to give a bit more context, I recently left my job that I was bonded to for the past three years.

And basically what that means is that if I were to terminate the contract early, so before the three years is up, then I would need to pay a pretty two years in, and I was burnt out like crazy.

I really disliked my job, and I felt so stuck because I mean, I couldn't leave.

I stopped enjoying things that I normally do, and I just felt so uninspired, and I felt like I wasn't really learning anything new anymore.

I became a zombie going through the motions.

YouTube was really something that I wanted to do for myself, to give myself a purpose again, and feel like I was alive.

And because I never put pressure on myself, I was really happy making videos.

I loved being creative, and feeling like I was on this steep learning curve, where I felt like I was making progress in some area of my life.

And funnily enough, I think that was what accelerated my growth.

And I reached a thousand subscribers in like a month, or something crazy like that.

And then two months after that was when I reached 10k.

But then when I got to that point, that was when I started to obsess over video performance and view count.

This is also around the time when I started taking on sponsorships, and there was even more added pressure for my videos to do well.

I noticed that was when I plateaued at 10k for several months, and that was when my average view count dropped dramatically.

But to be honest, the saddest part for me was that I just wasn't super proud of the content that I was making anymore.

I really didn't feel good about making videos anymore, and I didn't feel connected to the content I was making, and I just felt like I was churning out stuff for the sake of it.

I really had to remind myself again why I was doing YouTube in the first place, because if I wasn't feeling good doing it, then what was the point in all of this?

So then I decided to stop taking on sponsorships, and to really heal my relationship with YouTube, and to make content that I feel super proud of, in a way that makes me feel really happy and fulfilled.

And then funnily enough, once I adopted that mentality, that was when one of my other videos just popped off randomly.

To me, there was a really clear correlation between my attitude towards content creation, and the quality of the content that I was making.

Thank you guys for watching, and I just wanted to let you know that I won't be posting for the next couple of weeks or so, because I'll be flying off to Sweden very soon, and I'll probably need some time to settle down over there, and also to, you know, set up a nice studio recording space.

And if you're new here, basically I quit my job recently, and I'm going to be heading over to Sweden for a few months to go visit my sister there.

And then after Sweden, I've got some really, really exciting plans that I cannot wait to share with you guys, but I'll probably do a big reveal in a future video, so stay tuned for that.

But guys, I cannot tell you how sad I am to leave this apartment, because I love this YouTube setup that I currently have at the moment, and it's so sad because I can't bring any this over.

But anyways, I think having a little break will be really good, because it'll give me more time to sort of plan out awesome content for you guys.

And I do have a lot of topics in the back burner that I'm really excited to start working on.

And also, if there's a specific topic that you guys want me to make a video on in future, then please do leave those suggestions in the comments below.

I always read my comments, and I love interacting with you guys.

Okay guys, take care, and see you in the next video.