Name: 當我不再在乎時，我的生活發生了大大的改變 (My life changed when I stopped giving a f*ck | The Law of Detachment)
Uploaded: 2024-06-11T04:07:26.000Z
Duration: 12 min 16 s

頻率副詞

Have you guys ever noticed that sometimes when you want something so badly, it usually doesn't end up coming true?

你們有沒有注意到，有時當你非常想要一件東西時，它通常不會實現？

祈使句型

For example, let's say you're on a date, right, and you really really like this person, and you want the date to go well, but somehow you get really nervous, and you're not really yourself anymore, and you start acting weird, and the vibes and the chemistry is off, and then afterwards you just never hear from them ever again.

比如說，你在約會，對吧，你非常非常喜歡這個人，你希望約會順利，但不知怎麼的，你變得非常緊張，你不再是真正的自己，你開始表現得怪怪的，氣氛和化學反應都不對了，之後你就再也沒有聽到他們的消息了。

Or let's say you really want this job, and you go for the interview, and then you put so much pressure on yourself to perform well that you end up doing the exact opposite, and then you don't get called back for the next round.

比方說，你真的很想得到這份工作，你去參加了面試，然後你給自己施加了太多壓力，要求自己表現出色，結果卻事與願違，下一輪你又沒有接到面試通知。

Interestingly, I've also noticed that the flip side of this is true.

有趣的是，我還注意到這一現象的反面也是如此。

I've had so many instances in my life where when I just didn't give a shit about the outcome, that was when things started to work in my favor.

在我的生活中，有很多時候，當我不在乎結果的時候，事情就開始對我有利了。

For example, for my whole life, I've always been so obsessed with my acne and also my body just not looking the way that I want it to.

例如，在我的一生中，我一直對自己的痤瘡和身材不盡如人意的問題耿耿於懷。

Last year, I reached a point where I was just like, fuck it.

去年，我達到了一種 "去他媽的 "的境界。

I don't want to think about it, and clearly stressing about it has not helped me in any way.

我不想去想它，而且很明顯，為此而緊張對我沒有任何幫助。

So I just stopped thinking about it, and I just continued doing my skincare and staying consistent with health eating, healing my gut, and all of that.

於是，我不再去想它，只是繼續做我的護膚品，堅持健康飲食，治療我的腸道，等等。

And I kept showing up to the gym three, four times a week, and not even a year after that, I went from this to this, and then this to this.

我堅持每週去健身房鍛鍊三四次，之後不到一年，我就從這個樣子變成了這個樣子，然後又變成了這個樣子。

I felt like I just woke up one day a completely different person, and I've come to learn that this phenomenon, or whatever you want to call it, is actually related to something called the law of detachment.

我覺得自己一覺醒來就完全變了一個人，後來我才知道，這種現象，或者隨便你怎麼稱呼它，其實都與一種叫做 "超脫法則 "的東西有關。

I've been really interested in this topic lately because detachment is one of the hardest things to master, but once you do, no joke, it's like the ultimate unlock to improving pretty much every aspect of your life.

我最近對這個話題非常感興趣，因為超脫是最難掌握的事情之一，但一旦你掌握了，別開玩笑了，它就像一把終極解鎖，能改善你生活的方方面面。

From your relationships, to your career success, to your fitness, and literally everything else in between.

從你的人際關係，到你的事業成功，再到你的健康，以及中間的一切。

It took me such a long time for me to get my head around it because there's a bunch of misconceptions out there about what detachment actually is, and how to successfully go about it.

我花了很長時間才弄明白這一點，因為對於脫離到底是什麼，以及如何成功脫離，存在著很多誤解。

But once I did, it brought me a lot of great results in so many different areas of my life, which I'll touch more on later on in this video.

但一旦我做到了，它就在我生活的許多不同領域給我帶來了巨大的收穫，我將在本視頻的稍後部分詳細介紹。

Timestamps below as always because I value your time.

下面一如既往地有時間戳，因為我很珍惜你們的時間。

So what exactly is the law of detachment?

那麼，究竟什麼是超脫法則呢？

I used to think that detachment was the same as being apathetic, or being emotionally indifferent, like having a blasé attitude towards life, where you're just like, yeah whatever, I don't care what happens to me, or my career, or my relationship.

我曾經以為，超脫就等同於冷漠，或者情感淡漠，就像對生活抱著一種無所謂的態度，你就會覺得，是啊，不管怎樣，我不在乎我身上發生了什麼，或者我的事業，或者我的感情。

But now I've learned that actual detachment is actually releasing our desire for specific outcomes.

但現在我明白了，真正的超脫其實是釋放我們對特定結果的渴望。

It's not needing for things to turn out a certain way, but at the same time you're still working towards and having a stake in that relationship, or that career, or that life outcome.

你不需要事情以某種方式發展，但與此同時，你仍在為那段感情、那份事業或那份人生結果而努力，並與之息息相關。

It's a balancing act of caring enough to work hard towards that goal, while still not caring too much and being overly invested, to the point where it leads to self-sabotaging behavior.

這是一種平衡行為，既要足夠關心，努力實現這一目標，又要避免過於關心和過度投入，以至於導致自我破壞行為。

When we care a little too much, it puts a lot of pressure on us to achieve that outcome, and often this causes us to overthink and also make irrational decisions, which then ironically stops us from achieving the result that we want.

當我們關心得有點過多時，就會給我們帶來很大的壓力去實現這個結果，這往往會導致我們想得太多，也會做出一些非理性的決定，然後諷刺的是，這些決定會阻止我們實現我們想要的結果。

Detachment is being able to accept whatever happens, good or bad, for what it is, and trusting that you'll be okay no matter the outcome.

超脫就是能夠接受所發生的一切，無論好壞，相信無論結果如何，你都會沒事。

Basically, you won't be completely ruined and sounds like, well, you know, this relationship didn't really work out, and I mean we tried our best, but maybe it was just never meant to be, and it was always just meant to come to an end, and I'll be okay.

基本上，你不會完全被毀掉，也不會聽起來像，嗯，你知道，這段關係並沒有真正成功，我的意思是，我們已經盡力了，但也許這只是命中註定，它總是要結束的，我會沒事的。

Or it could sound like, my YouTube video tanked this week, but you know what?

或者聽起來像，我的 YouTube 視頻本週慘淡收場，但你知道嗎？

I can just try again next week, and I'll be okay.

Now you might be thinking, why is this important?

現在你可能會想，這有什麼重要的？

I've really come to realize that being able to detach is probably one of the greatest life skills that you can have, which is why it's something that I really want to work on this year.

我真的意識到，能夠超脫可能是你所能擁有的最偉大的生活技能之一，這也是為什麼我今年真的想努力做到這一點的原因。

Holding on to an idea just because you've become attached to it creates a lot of anxiety.

僅僅因為你對某個想法情有獨鍾，就緊緊抓住它不放，這會給你帶來很多焦慮。

It makes us obsess over needing things to be a certain way, and if it doesn't turn out that way, then it causes us a lot of pain.

它讓我們糾結於需要事情變成某種樣子，如果結果不是這樣，就會給我們帶來很多痛苦。

Attachment is really all about trying to gain a sense of control over the situation, but the thing is, control is an illusion because most things are out of our control.

依戀其實就是試圖獲得一種對局勢的控制感，但問題是，控制只是一種幻覺，因為大多數事情都不是我們所能控制的。

The moment we to behave exactly the way we want them to, and for our YouTube channel to perform the way we predicted, and for our fitness journey to go exactly according to plan with zero hiccups, then that's when we can set ourselves free from this pain.

當我們的行為完全符合我們的期望，當我們的 YouTube 頻道按照我們預想的方式運行，當我們的健身之旅完全按照計劃進行而沒有任何小插曲時，我們就可以讓自己從這種痛苦中解脫出來。

And that opens up more space for love in our relationships, and creativity in our YouTube, and also real progress in our fitness journey.

這就為我們的人際關係中的愛，YouTube 中的創造力，以及健身之旅中的真正進步開闢了更多空間。

那麼，我們究竟該如何脫離呢？

Detachment can be applied to pretty much every scenario and area of so that's what I'm going to use as examples.

脫離可以應用於幾乎所有的場景和領域，所以我將以此為例。

So in one of my past relationships, I was really just attached to the idea of this future that we were going to have because our trajectories were so aligned, and it all seemed so perfect in theory anyway.

所以，在我過去的一段感情中，我真的只是執著於我們將要擁有的這個未來，因為我們的軌跡是如此一致，而且無論如何，這一切在理論上似乎都是如此完美。

And that ideal future image really clouded my judgment of the reality of what the relationship was actually like in the present.

而這種理想的未來形象，確實矇蔽了我對這段關係當下實際情況的判斷。

The reality was, I just felt really anxious all of the time, and I didn't feel very supported or cared for, and overall I just felt unhappy.

現實情況是，我總是感到非常焦慮，我感覺不到什麼支持或關懷，總的來說，我就是感覺不快樂。

But I ignored all of that, and I stayed a lot longer than I should have because I was so attached to the idea of this perfect future.

但我忽略了這一切，我呆的時間比我應該呆的時間要長得多，因為我太執著於這個完美未來的想法了。

I kept thinking to myself like, man this really needs to work out because otherwise the plan is going to fall apart.

我一直在想，老兄，這真的需要解決，否則計劃就要失敗了。

Looking back, if I was just able to detach from this dream life that I had envisioned for the both of us, then I would have realized a lot sooner that I didn't need this person in order to materialize that dream life.

回想起來，如果我能從我為我們倆設想的夢想生活中抽身出來，那麼我就會更早地意識到，我並不需要這個人來實現夢想生活。

That I was more than capable of working towards it on my own.

我自己完全有能力實現這個目標。

And once I realized that, it gave me the strength to finally walk away from something that wasn't right for me.

一旦我意識到這一點，就給了我力量，讓我最終放棄了不適合我的東西。

The next example is about detachment with my fitness journey and looks.

下一個例子是關於我的健身歷程和容貌。

So I've been on plenty of weight loss journeys, and they were either just not effective or not sustainable.

是以，我經歷過很多減肥之旅，但要麼效果不佳，要麼無法持續。

Meaning that I would lose all of the weight, but then gain it all back within six And through understanding the law of detachment, I now understand why.

這意味著，我會減掉所有的體重，但在六天之內又會全部恢復。

I was always fixated on the way that I looked in the current moment, and how far off that was from the way that I wanted to look.

我總是專注於自己當下的樣子，而這與我想要的樣子相差甚遠。

The outcome, which was the body that I really wanted, was what I got attached to.

結果，也就是我真正想要的身體，是我所依戀的。

I would do excessive amounts of cardio and under eat because by hook or by crook, I wanted to look a certain way within three months.

我會做過量的有氧運動，但吃得太少，因為無論如何，我都想在三個月內讓自己看起來像某種樣子。

Which in the fitness world is an insanely short period of time.

在健身領域，這段時間短得令人難以置信。

And the reason why this didn't work is because I would obsessively look in the mirror every day, and if I didn't see progress at the rate at which I wanted to see it, then it would discourage me a lot.

之所以沒有成功，是因為我每天都會痴迷地照鏡子，如果沒有按照我希望的速度看到進步，就會讓我非常氣餒。

I'd get super frustrated and just give up that day, and then I'd start eating like crap because what's the point?

那天，我感到非常沮喪，就放棄了，然後我就開始吃得像垃圾一樣，因為這有什麼意義呢？

I'd get lazy with exercising and fall off track, and that was exactly why I kept setting myself back.

我懶於鍛鍊，偏離了軌道，這正是我不斷讓自己退步的原因。

And then one day, I was just like, you know what?

然後有一天，我就想，你知道嗎？

What if I just didn't set myself an end date?

如果我不給自己設定一個結束日期呢？

Didn't have any expectation of where this is going to go, and how long it's going to take me, and just focus on enjoying the journey without putting any sort of pressure on myself.

我沒有任何期望，不知道這將走向何方，要花費我多長時間，只是專注於享受旅程，不給自己施加任何壓力。

And in January of 2023, that was when I hired a PT and went to the gym a few times a week.

2023 年 1 月，我僱了一名健身教練，每週去幾次健身房。

I drastically cleaned up my diet, and I just kept going.

我徹底改變了飲食習慣，並堅持了下來。

I just honestly didn't think or feel anything about it.

老實說，我對此沒有任何想法或感覺。

For nine months, I didn't take any in front of the mirror.

整整九個月，我都沒有在鏡子前照過。

All I focused on was just on getting stronger, and getting better at performing certain lifts, and trying out new healthy recipes, which was honestly really fun.

我所關注的只是如何變得更強壯，如何更好地完成某些舉重動作，以及如何嘗試新的健康食譜，老實說，這真的很有趣。

And to me, I love my me time in the kitchen, where I'm just like, you know, listening to music or a podcast, and trying out something new.

對我來說，我喜歡在廚房裡的 "我 "的時光，聽著音樂或播客，嘗試新的東西。

And I just made sure that I was feeling good, and was having fun throughout the journey.

我只是確保自己感覺良好，並在整個旅程中享受樂趣。

And then one day, nine months later, I went to a friend's place for a swim, and then when I came out in my bikini, she just kind of like looked at me and said, dude, you're like fit now.

九個月後的一天，我去一個朋友家游泳，當我穿著比基尼出來時，她看著我說："夥計，你現在身材真好。

And then we took some pictures by the pool, and mind you, these were the first progress photos, if you will, that I took since starting my fitness journey.

然後我們在泳池邊拍了幾張照片，請注意，這是我開始健身之旅以來拍的第一張進步照片。

And when I looked at the photos, I was like, bruh, when did this happen?

當我看到這些照片時，我想，兄弟，這是什麼時候發生的？

Because I was just this, like not too long ago.

因為就在不久前，我也是這樣。

I posted some of the pictures on Instagram, and then got a whole I've never been called fit in my life, ever.

我在 Instagram 上發了幾張照片，然後得到了一個我這輩子從來沒被人說過身材好的評價，從來沒有。

I was never like the athletic person or fit person in school, so honestly that day was just so surreal for me.

在學校裡，我從來都不是運動健將，所以說實話，那天對我來說太不真實了。

And that really proved to me that once I stopped caring about the outcome, and stopped being so overly attached to this dream body that I wanted, that was when I actually achieved it.

這向我證明，一旦我不再在乎結果，不再過分執著於我想要的夢幻身材，我就真的實現了。

Starting YouTube, I really had zero expectations from the beginning, and I told myself that, you know, if it takes me a year to get to my first thousand subscribers, then fine.

開始製作 YouTube 時，我從一開始就沒有抱任何期望，我告訴自己，如果我需要一年時間才能擁有第一千名訂閱者，那也沒關係。

When I first started, I was doing this just for me as a passion project, to feel like I had some sort of meaning and purpose in my life, because I was so burnt out from work at the time.

剛開始的時候，我只是為了自己而做這個激情項目，覺得自己的生活有了某種意義和目標，因為當時我的工作已經讓我筋疲力盡了。

Just to give a bit more context, I recently left my job that I was bonded to for the past three years.

我最近剛剛離開了與我相伴三年的工作。

And basically what that means is that if I were to terminate the contract early, so before the three years is up, then I would need to pay a pretty two years in, and I was burnt out like crazy.

而這基本上意味著，如果我提前終止合同，那麼在三年到期之前，我就需要支付兩年的費用，而我已經焦頭爛額了。

I really disliked my job, and I felt so stuck because I mean, I couldn't leave.

我真的很不喜歡我的工作，我覺得我被困住了，因為我的意思是，我不能離開。

I stopped enjoying things that I normally do, and I just felt so uninspired, and I felt like I wasn't really learning anything new anymore.

我不再喜歡我通常做的事情，我只是覺得沒有靈感，我覺得我沒有真正學到任何新東西。

I became a zombie going through the motions.

YouTube was really something that I wanted to do for myself, to give myself a purpose again, and feel like I was alive.

YouTube 真的是我想為自己做的事情，讓自己重新擁有目標，感覺自己還活著。

And because I never put pressure on myself, I was really happy making videos.

因為我從不給自己施加壓力，所以我真的很高興能製作視頻。

I loved being creative, and feeling like I was on this steep learning curve, where I felt like I was making progress in some area of my life.

我喜歡發揮創造力，感覺自己處於陡峭的學習曲線上，感覺自己在生活的某個領域取得了進步。

And funnily enough, I think that was what accelerated my growth.

有趣的是，我認為這正是加速我成長的原因。

And I reached a thousand subscribers in like a month, or something crazy like that.

一個月後，我的訂閱用戶數量就達到了一千人，或者更瘋狂的數字。

And then two months after that was when I reached 10k.

兩個月後，我的成績達到了 1 萬分。

But then when I got to that point, that was when I started to obsess over video performance and view count.

但當我走到這一步時，我開始糾結於視頻性能和觀看次數。

This is also around the time when I started taking on sponsorships, and there was even more added pressure for my videos to do well.

也是在這個時候，我開始接受贊助，視頻製作的壓力更大了。

I noticed that was when I plateaued at 10k for several months, and that was when my average view count dropped dramatically.

我注意到，就在我的平均瀏覽量連續幾個月穩定在 1 萬的時候，我的平均瀏覽量急劇下降。

But to be honest, the saddest part for me was that I just wasn't super proud of the content that I was making anymore.

但老實說，最讓我傷心的是，我不再為自己製作的內容感到自豪。

I really didn't feel good about making videos anymore, and I didn't feel connected to the content I was making, and I just felt like I was churning out stuff for the sake of it.

我對製作視頻的感覺真的不再好了，我也不覺得自己與製作的內容有什麼聯繫，我只覺得自己是在為了製作而製作。

I really had to remind myself again why I was doing YouTube in the first place, because if I wasn't feeling good doing it, then what was the point in all of this?

我真的不得不再次提醒自己，當初為什麼要做 YouTube，因為如果我做起來感覺不好，那麼這一切又有什麼意義呢？

So then I decided to stop taking on sponsorships, and to really heal my relationship with YouTube, and to make content that I feel super proud of, in a way that makes me feel really happy and fulfilled.

是以，我決定不再接受贊助，真正修復我與 YouTube 的關係，製作我引以為豪的內容，讓我感到真正的快樂和滿足。

And then funnily enough, once I adopted that mentality, that was when one of my other videos just popped off randomly.

有趣的是，當我抱著這樣的心態時，我的其他視頻也就在那時突然出現了。