Ever wondered why it feels like some people don't connect with you?

Even when you're trying to be nice, if you answered yes, here's a comforting thought for you.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

Forming connections can sometimes feel a bit like figuring out a puzzle.

It takes time and patience.

Everyone has moments when they feel a little unsure or find it challenging to make friends.

It's a natural part of life.

And just because you do some things wrong sometimes, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

In fact, many people have had the same struggles and eventually discovered great friendships.

The trick?

Figure out what habits might be causing this.

And we're here to help you understand and fix them.

So let's dive right into it.

Mistake number 1, not recognizing how feelings can spread.

Do you often find yourself bringing a storm of negativity everywhere you go?

Maybe you unconsciously vent about your problems and personal life a lot.

Or perhaps you catch yourself complaining about everyday inconveniences and people go silent.

People catch feelings like they catch a yawn.

The sad truth is that if you're always grumpy or stressed, others might start associating those bad vibes with you.

Being more mindful of the emotional tone you set while speaking to others and how that would affect others is a good start.

But that doesn't mean you should bottle up your feelings in the long run and try to stay happy no matter what.

That is just toxic positivity.

Instead of simply urging yourself to always stay positive, acknowledge that sometimes it's hard to escape the grip of negative thoughts and the root cause of it can be deeper than you think.

Life is tough and it's okay to feel the weight of it.

Figure out what's causing those negative feelings and try to challenge your thoughts and beliefs.

When you understand and accept your negativity, you can start to feel better.

Mistake number 2, the spotlight effect.

It's okay to feel a bit self-conscious around others, sometimes.

But when we worry too much about what people think, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It can make people dislike you.

Why?

Because we think everyone notices and cares a lot about what we do or how we look.

Then what happens next?

We end up behaving like we're always fishing for attention.

And that can make people think we're a bit self-centered.

But here's the thing.

People usually don't pay as much attention as we think.

Did you ever realize that you talk a lot about yourself and forget to ask others about their day?

If this sounds like you, you don't have to beat yourself up about it.

Because the good news is, now that you know, you can make a change.

Here's the trick.

Instead of always trying to get attention, focus on making others feel important too.

Ask about their day, what they like and what they think.

It's like turning the spotlight around.

The truth is, building strong connections means you have a supportive network that values you for who you are.

This support makes you feel good about yourself, reducing the need for constant approval from others.

Mistake number 3, vulnerability dropping.

Do you struggle to express vulnerability?

Imagine a friend opening up to you and sharing something personal and vulnerable.

How do you respond?

Do you unconsciously make jokes and don't take them seriously?

Maybe your intentions were good, it's just that you don't feel comfortable with your own emotions and have developed a habit of bottling them up.

So you resort to humor as a way to cope with your feelings and mask your discomfort.

Now as your friend opens up about their struggles, you instinctively believe that humor can serve as a distraction from their worries.

But this approach may backfire, as your friend may perceive it as them being unheard and dismissed by you.

So what should you do instead?

Well, when someone shares something personal, be supportive and understanding and tell them you're there for them.

It'll make them feel valued and make your bond stronger.

Mistake number 4, unconscious microaggressions.

What's a microaggression?

It's when people unintentionally say or do things that make others feel left out or treated unfairly.

These actions can make people see things in a bad way.

Microaggressions usually happen because of biases that people might not even realize they have.

Here's an example.

If you tell someone of Asian descent that they speak English well, assuming it's not their first language, it could be a microaggression.

This assumes they don't belong or aren't from the same country.

Okay, so here's a question.

Have you ever noticed you've said something that upsets someone and realized that some of your comments could be interpreted negatively?

It happens to the best of us and it's always good to be aware of the impact our words can have on others.

Even if it wasn't your intention, it might be helpful to think about why you said those things and consider taking accountability for it, especially if your relationship means more to you than your pride.

Mistake number 5, thinking people can read your mind.

If you assume people are mind readers, you might unconsciously become passive-aggressive and things can get messy real quick.

When we keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, it's like setting everyone up for a game of guessing and trust me, that game usually ends in confusion or even a full-on argument.

I get it though, speaking up can be tough, especially if you've been burned before or you're not a fan of confrontation.

But here's the thing, sometimes your trauma and past experiences are lying to you.

Sometimes the solution is as simple as sharing what's on your mind so that everyone is on the same page, but of course in an empathetic way.

It's like flipping on a light switch in a dark room, suddenly everything becomes clearer.

Mistake number 6, always taking, never giving.

When you suffer from low self-esteem, it can be hard to recognize the difference between self-love and self-centeredness.

Perhaps you struggle with insecurities and may constantly seek validation or support from others.

But be mindful and honest, are you always taking without giving back?

If you're continuously asking for help or favors but never giving back, it can make others feel unappreciated.

So what's the fix?

Be more mindful of giving back to others.

Simple acts like expressing gratitude, offering help or sharing your knowledge can make a positive impact in your relationships and friendships.

Balance in relationships makes everyone feel happy and appreciated.

Mistake number 7, giving but expecting something in return.

Now being generous is great, but if you're handing out favors with a secret hope of getting something back, that's a bit of a problem.

When your kindness comes with an agenda, it can make people feel obligated or manipulated.

But why do we do this?

Some of us may come from a scarcity mindset.

If we don't hint at someone we want something in return, we feel we are being duped.

This comes from thinking there's not enough to go around.

You feel there isn't enough for you, so you do whatever it takes to get things from others.

But here's the trick.

If we believe there's plenty to share, we can trust others and build more genuine connections without always expecting something back.

That is real generosity.

Did you relate to any of these mistakes?

If so, you don't have to beat yourself up.

Remember, the strongest people are the ones who can own up to their mistakes and take accountability for their actions to become a better person.

It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

We all do.

The bottom line is, to make others like you more, it boils down to making them feel heard, valued and important.

We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

And if you enjoyed learning about making better connections and are interested in learning about similar topics, click here to watch 6 flirting mistakes that keep you single.

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Let's create a community where we all feel heard and appreciated.

Thanks for watching.