Name: 孩子不一定會讓你更快樂。為什麼人們還是要生孩子？| 保羅-布魯姆 (Kids don’t always make you happier. Here’s why people have them anyway. | Paul Bloom)
Uploaded: 2024-07-11T03:48:14.000Z
Duration: 4 min 56 s

過去簡單式

The question of why we have children, why we're motivated to have children is kind of from a Darwinian point of view a little bit of a no-brainer, which is that those animals that were not predisposed to have children in some way or another did not leave behind children and not as many children as those that wanted to have children.

從達爾文的觀點來看，為什麼我們會有孩子，為什麼我們會有生孩子的動機，這個問題有點不難理解，那就是那些在某種程度上沒有生孩子傾向的動物不會留下孩子，也不會像那些想生孩子的動物那樣留下那麼多孩子。

There were probably some primate ancestors of ourselves that as soon as they saw children they thought, how delicious, what a source of fat and protein, and ate them all up.

我們的祖先可能有一些靈長類動物，它們一看到孩子就會想，多好吃啊，多好的脂肪和蛋白質來源啊，於是就把孩子吃光了。

to 不定詞

The genes that motivated them to do that did not prosper as much as the genes that motivated our other primate ancestors to say, how adorable, I will love them and protect them.

促使它們這樣做的基因並沒有促使我們其他靈長類祖先說："多可愛啊，我要愛它們，保護它們。"的基因那麼繁榮。

Now that we're reflective beings, that we can think about what we do, we could choose for instance to have sex without the idea of having kids.

既然我們是有思想的人，我們可以思考我們所做的事情，比如我們可以選擇在不考慮生孩子的情況下做愛。

And then the question of why people choose to have kids becomes more complicated.

這樣一來，人們為什麼選擇要孩子的問題就變得更加複雜了。

The negatives of having children are obvious.

You don't need a psychologist to tell you about them.

你不需要心理學家來告訴你這些。

Money, anxiety, sleepless nights, sleep deprivation, all the time they take up.

金錢、焦慮、不眠之夜、睡眠不足，所有這些都會佔用時間。

Studies find that for couples who have kids, the number one source of fighting and argument and tension, it's not relatives, it's not sex, it's not money, it's kids.

研究發現，對於有孩子的夫妻來說，吵架、爭執和緊張的首要原因不是親戚，不是性，也不是錢，而是孩子。

It's a really hard question from a hedonic point of view.

從享樂主義的角度來看，這確實是一個很難回答的問題。

孩子是積極因素還是消極因素？

And I think the answer's going to differ from person to person in perhaps unpredictable ways.

我認為答案會因人而異，也許會有難以預料的結果。

But people don't seem to say, wow, what a disaster that was, what a bad move.

但人們似乎不會說，哇，這真是一場災難，多麼糟糕的舉動。

And I think if you tell parents, you know, there's a lot of evidence saying that kids don't make you overall happier.

我認為，如果你告訴父母，你知道，有很多證據表明，孩子並不會讓你整體上更快樂。

Their response will often be, that's not why I have kids.

他們的回答往往是，這不是我生孩子的原因。

And I think the reason goes back to the idea of motivational pluralism.

我認為原因就在於動機多元化的理念。

So motivational pluralism is the fact that humans want many things.

是以，動機多元化就是人類想要很多東西的事實。

So if you ask parents whether their lives are meaningful, they tend to say yes more than non-parents.

是以，如果你問父母他們的生活是否有意義，他們往往比非父母更願意說有意義。

Meaning, in the broad sense, is intimately related to the more heavy duty, suffering and difficulty.

廣義的 "意義 "與更為沉重的 "責任"、"痛苦 "和 "困難 "密切相關。

So Danny Kahnleman talks about two different kinds of happiness.

是以，丹尼-卡恩勒曼談到了兩種不同的幸福。

One is experienced happiness, which is, you know, you're doing something and I tap you on the shoulder and say, how happy are you?

一種是 "體驗式幸福"，即你在做某件事情時，我拍拍你的肩膀說，你有多幸福？

Remember when you were doing that thing, how much did you like it?

還記得你做那件事的時候，你有多喜歡嗎？

The experienced happiness with children is complicated and often lower than you would expect, while a remembered happiness could be higher.

與孩子在一起的幸福感是複雜的，往往低於你的預期，而記憶中的幸福感可能更高。

One explanation for this proposed by Jennifer Senior, who's a science writer, has written a lot about this, is that our memories are distorted in interesting ways.

珍妮弗-西尼爾（Jennifer Senior）對此提出了一個解釋，她是一位科普作家，寫過很多這方面的文章，她認為我們的記憶以有趣的方式被扭曲了。

I think back on having my kids and I have a million memories of these wonderful things, which I go back to over and over again and kind of nurture.

回想起我有孩子的時候，我有無數關於這些美好事物的回憶，我一遍又一遍地去回想，去培養。

So my remembered happiness might be high.

所以，我記憶中的幸福感可能很高。

The experienced happiness, the day-to-day stuff, the million diaper changes and getting up in the middle of the night, you just forget all that.

經歷過的幸福、日常瑣事、無數次換尿布和半夜起床，你都會忘得一乾二淨。

If somebody asked me, do you recommend I have a kid or not?

如果有人問我，你建議我生還是不生？

I would say, hey, this is a tough call, but what I would advise is explore what it is to have a kid.

我會說，嘿，這是個艱難的決定，但我的建議是，探索一下生孩子的意義。

Look at some of the research into how people describe their lives.

看看一些關於人們如何描述自己生活的研究。

Talk to parents, not with an eye towards saying, oh, plainly this is a good decision or plainly this is a bad decision because the data is not going to be there.

與家長溝通，而不是說，哦，這顯然是個好決定，或者這顯然是個壞決定，因為數據不會存在。

What you could find is how well it meshes with how you are or how you want to be.

你能發現的是，它與你現在的樣子或你想成為的樣子有多契合。

Having children is what my friend and colleague, the philosopher Laurie Paul, calls a transformative experience.

我的朋友兼同事、哲學家勞裡-保羅（Laurie Paul）稱生孩子是一種變革性的體驗。

It's the kind of experience that changes you in such a way that right now you can't project what it would be like to be a parent because when you are a parent, you'll be a different kind of person than you are now.

這種經歷會改變你，讓你現在無法預測為人父母會是什麼樣子，因為當你為人父母時，你將會是一個與現在不同的人。

You have different priorities, different interests, different drives, different experiences.

你們有不同的優先事項、不同的興趣、不同的動力和不同的經歷。

Now, I'll add a caveat, which is there's other ways to get meaning in life.

現在，我要補充一點，那就是還有其他方法來獲得人生的意義。

Some people I love very much are non-parents either due to circumstance or due to choice, and they live very rich and fulfilling lives.

我深愛的一些人或因環境或因選擇而沒有為人父母，他們的生活非常豐富和充實。

There's more than one route to meaning, but I do want to suggest that that's one reason, one argument.

通往意義的道路不止一條，但我確實想說，這是一個原因，一個論點。

 One argument in favor of having kids is that not that it scratches the itch of happiness, but that it's part and parcel of a meaningful life.

支持生孩子的一個論點是，這並不是說生孩子能搔到幸福的癢處，而是說這是有意義生活的一部分。