Thank you.

What kind of dark magic forgettery is this?

Oh, wait, there is one more problem with this computer.

Sometimes, it asks me to right-click to do something, but when I do, nothing happens.

Can you fix that? Hm, show me.

Look, even when I get closer...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Uh-huh, that that little donkey just bit the dust.

Alas, yes, but also...

That it's us who need to teach her how to safely use the computer.

Okay, let's assess the damage here.

What do you mainly use your computer for?

Oh, you know, same as everybody.

Write emails, check stuff, read movies.

You mean watch movies, right?

No, I read them.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay, just show us what you normally do.

Oh, I can never find the at. So this is how you type an email?

What is that?

My contact list.

Wait, so you keep everyone's email address in there and then type it into the computer?

Yeah, easy-peasy.

Then I just press send.

Kix email?

What is this?

It's my mailbox.

I saw a Christmas promotion for it at the post office.

And it saves on stamps.

Mrs. Mom, normal emails are easier.

Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't want to put all the elves who live inside the computer out of work, would I? Who are you sending this to?

Oh, Mickey Maintenance.

OMG, you're such a mom.

Hey, watch your tongue.

What do you think OMG means?

Well, I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess, I would say, offend my grandmother.

We need to teach you a little more Internet lingo.

What does TLDR mean?

Toilet... doctor?

Do you really think people on the Internet talk about toilet doctors so much you have to abbreviate it?

Very funny.

You're lucky you two are my bays.

What?

My bays.

My babies.

That's what it means, right?

Mmm... yes.

Yes, it does.

But I'm a bit worried about the way you talk online.

Let me look at your posts. Oh, my word.

Jackie Wilson, tough morning today.

Anniversary of the day my granddad was missing at sea.

And you answer with a photo of a sad kitten saying R-O-F-L?

Yeah, receive our feelings and love.

Right.

What else do you do?

Sometimes I download cooking videos.

I just got the iReadMovies thing. Okay, so what do you do at lunchtime?

I check out stuff I'd like to buy, but I never buy anything, though.

Why?

Because I'm scared of getting my money stolen.

It's happened before.

It's good to be careful, but you see that little fella right there?

If the padlock is on, it means you're safe.

Oh, okay, then.

So what do I do next?

Just put it in the basket. No!

Huh.

Really thought she was gonna chuck the computer away there.

Guys, please, I know I'm slow, but I'm not Interweb Explorer slow.

She made a browser nerd joke!

She's learning!

I guess there are two types of people in this world, Darwin.

Those who need everything spelled out for them.

What's the second type? Okay, what do I do next?

You just have to pay.

And you promise I won't get my money stolen?

Yeah.

And 99 cents.