Name: 你唯一需要聽取的約會建議✨女性約會祕訣✨ (The Only Dating Advice you Will Ever Need to Hear ✨Feminine Dating Secrets✨)
Uploaded: 2024-07-25T09:11:20.000Z
Duration: 23 min 49 s

現在進行式

I hope you're all having a lovely, lovely day.

希望大家今天都過得愉快、開心。

I hope it gets even better from watching this video.

我希望看了這段視頻後，情況會變得更好。

Today we're chatting all about my sort of dating rules slash guidelines.

今天我們來聊一聊我的約會準則。

I want you to come out of this video being like, okay, I know my worth.

我希望你們在看完這段視頻後會覺得，好吧，我知道自己的價值。

We're going to talk about how you're going to stop being the one who's picked and you're going to start choosing.

我們將討論如何讓你不再成為被挑選的人，而開始做出選擇。

We're going to talk about how to stop being convenient and just be who you are and know what you want.

我們將討論如何不再貪圖方便，而是做自己，知道自己想要什麼。

We're going to chat about how to deal with like behaviors you don't like, how to act, what to say, that sort of a thing.

我們將討論如何處理你不喜歡的行為，如何行動，說什麼，諸如此類的問題。

I want to put out a, and we'll get through those really quickly.

我想說的是，我們會很快說完的。

Number one, I am coming from a place of dating men for the most part.

首先，我來自一個大部分時間都在和男人約會的地方。

I believe in masculine, feminine energy, and I think every relationship has that polarity or at least most, no matter if it's like a straight relationship or not.

我相信陽剛之氣和陰柔之美，我認為每段關係都有這種兩極性，至少大多數是這樣，無論它是否像一段異性戀關係。

I think there are so many misconceptions when it comes to what feminine energy actually is.

我認為，當談到女性能量究竟是什麼時，人們有很多誤解。

It is not being weak, first of all, and it is not being a 1950s housewife.

首先，這不是軟弱，也不是上世紀 50 年代的家庭主婦。

I don't know where we got that from, but that is ridiculous.

我不知道我們從哪裡聽來的，但這太荒唐了。

But if you want a whole other video about feminine energy and how to kind of step into it and what it is, let me know.

不過，如果你想看關於女性能量的其他視頻，以及如何走進它、它是什麼，請告訴我。

我很樂意為此製作一個完整的視頻。

Disclaimer number two, anytime anyone shares any sort of dating advice of how to act or what to say or how to be when it comes to dating, there's always comments like, Oh, I just want to be myself.

免責聲明二，無論何時有人分享任何約會建議，說到約會時該如何行動、說什麼或如何做人，總會有這樣的評論："哦，我只想做我自己。

And sure, who am I to tell you what to do and what not to do with your life?

當然，我有什麼資格告訴你，你的人生該做什麼，不該做什麼？

But I assume that most of us that are watching this kind of content are coming from a place of not being very healthy when it comes to relationships and dating.

但我認為，我們中的大多數人在觀看這類內容時，在人際關係和約會方面都不太健康。

Maybe we've experienced whatever in our childhoods and we are, let's say anxiously attached or we're insecure.

也許我們在童年時經歷過什麼，我們就會焦慮不安，或者缺乏安全感。

I would like to think that that is not who I am or at least it's not who I want to be.

我想，我不是這樣的人，至少我不想成為這樣的人。

And I think these tips are how to better yourself so that you can get what you want.

我認為，這些建議就是如何更好地提升自己，從而獲得自己想要的東西。

Because I assume the behavior you've been in hasn't gotten you what you want.

因為我認為你的行為並沒有讓你如願以償。

And that is something I personally experienced.

I was in a lot of toxic situations, relationships, you name it, I've experienced it.

我經歷過很多有毒的環境、關係，你說得出來的，我都經歷過。

I then took a year off dating and I was single on purpose.

之後，我花了一年時間停止約會，故意單身。

And I really took that year to learn about these patterns and start to heal them.

我真的用了一年的時間來了解這些模式，並開始治癒它們。

And I'm now in a healthy, happy, long-term committed relationship that I've always wanted.

而我現在正處在一段健康、快樂、長期的承諾關係中，這正是我一直想要的。

And so this is kind of coming from that place of someone who had been through it and is now on the other side.

是以，我的這番話就像是從一個經歷過這一切、現在又站在另一邊的人的角度說出來的。

And this is something that I would do if I had to start from scratch.

如果讓我從頭開始，我也會這麼做。

I'm Nika, by the way, I like to make content like this, just chatting about things that are important in the self-development space.

順便說一下，我叫妮卡，我喜歡做這樣的內容，就是聊聊自我發展領域的一些重要事情。

And I like to make my advice and my videos super actionable so that when you're done watching it, you're like, okay, I can implement this.

我喜歡讓我的建議和視頻具有超強的可操作性，這樣當你看完之後，你就會想，好吧，我可以實施這個。

I can do this exercise and I can start today because that's just something that works for me.

我可以做這個練習，我可以從今天開始做，因為這對我來說很有效。

And if it's up your alley, I would love for you to stick around and subscribe and check out my other social media for more content like this.

如果你喜歡，我希望你能繼續訂閱，並在我的其他社交媒體上查看更多類似內容。

That was a little long, but let's jump right into it.

剛才說得有點長，現在我們直接進入正題。

And I think the most crucial one is we're going to uncover your worth because what is this business of you chasing people or trying to convince people to be with you or to want you or to love you that ends today.

我認為最關鍵的一點是，我們要發掘你的價值，因為你追逐別人、試圖說服別人和你在一起、想要你、愛你，這些事情到今天就結束了。

And I'm hoping that these things that I'm about to say that helped me flip that switch are going to help you as well, because then you don't have to keep convincing yourself like, Oh, I shouldn't be doing this.

我希望我接下來要說的這些幫助我打開開關的事情也能對你有所幫助，因為這樣你就不必一直說服自己：哦，我不應該這樣做。

It's not going to get me what I want, but I just cannot stop.

這不會讓我如願以償，但我就是停不下來。

We're going to end this so that naturally you're not even interested in people like that anymore.

我們要結束這一切，這樣你自然就不會再對這樣的人感興趣了。

So usually people, especially men are very honest.

所以，通常人們，尤其是男人都很誠實。

It might not be through what they're saying, but it's definitely through what they're doing.

這可能不是通過他們所說的話，但一定是通過他們所做的事。

So they might say like, I don't want a relationship right now or I'm not looking for anything serious, but most likely they're just not putting in as much effort.

是以，他們可能會說，我現在不想談戀愛，或者我不想找什麼正經事，但最有可能的是，他們只是沒有付出那麼多努力。

So they're not making the time to see you.

所以，他們沒有抽出時間來見你。

They don't really care to check in with you.

You kind of need to chase them to make anything happen.

你需要追著他們跑，才能有所收穫。

That means, and I hate to say it, I know it sucks to hear, but it means that they're not interested in that way.

這意味著，我不想這麼說，我知道這很難聽，但這意味著他們對這種方式不感興趣。

They don't want a relationship with you because when anyone wants to be with you, especially a man, they will make it very obvious.

他們不想和你談戀愛，因為如果有人想和你在一起，尤其是男人，他們會表現得非常明顯。

This will not be something hard to decode or something.

這不會是什麼難以解碼的東西。

You need to convince yourself and find loopholes of, Oh, but he did text me last Friday to say that he misses me.

你需要說服自己，找到漏洞：哦，但他上週五確實給我發了簡訊，說他想我。

It's very, very obvious because why wouldn't he make it obvious if that is what he wants?

這非常、非常明顯，因為如果這是他想要的，他為什麼不說出來呢？

But if we are in this pattern of chasing people that we know deep down don't want us, it comes from somewhere.

但是，如果我們追逐那些我們內心深處知道並不想要我們的人，這種追逐模式就會從某個地方產生。

It might be that your dad didn't have time for you.

So you kept just kind of scraping for some love and attention.

所以，你一直在努力尋求愛和關注。

Maybe you were bullied early on in childhood.

也許你早在童年時期就被人欺負過。

Maybe you just didn't feel loved and like you belong in your family, whatever it might be.

也許你只是感覺不到被愛，感覺不到自己屬於家庭，不管是什麼原因。

There are a hundred different types of stories, but they all lead to the same place, which is you not believing that who you are is good enough and worthy enough to be loved just for who you are.

有上百種不同類型的故事，但它們都通向同一個地方，那就是你不相信你是一個足夠好、足夠值得被愛的人。

And now you're out here convincing these random chads or brads or whoever that no, I am, I am actually good enough.

而現在你卻在這裡說服這些隨機的chads或brads或其他什麼人，不，我是，我真的足夠好。

And by you convincing them that you are, and if you actually get to the point where you convince them, which you usually never do, but if you magically make that happen, then you're like, I am lovable because Chad here loves me.

如果你說服了他們，如果你真的說服了他們，通常你是做不到的，但如果你神奇地做到了，那麼你就會說：我是可愛的，因為查德愛我。

And that is what you're doing subconsciously.

而這正是你潛意識裡正在做的事情。

Like you're trying to convince yourself of something that you should do within yourself that has no business being something that you're trying to achieve outside of yourself by Chad loving you, you know?

就像你試圖說服自己去做一些你應該在自己內心做的事情，而這些事情與你試圖通過查德愛你而在自己之外實現的事情毫無關係，你知道嗎？

So if that already doesn't flip a switch of you just knowing this is what I'm doing, this is my pattern.

所以，如果這還不能打開你的開關，只是讓你知道這就是我在做的事情，這就是我的模式。

I'm trying to convince people to love me because I don't believe deep down that I'm lovable.

我試圖說服別人愛我，因為我內心深處不相信自己是可愛的。

Get a picture of yourself when you were a little kid, whichever one like speaks to you and you just feel like, Oh, I love this little kid.

給自己拍一張小時候的照片，無論哪張都會讓你覺得 "哦，我愛這個小孩子"。

So now that you have this picture, imagine that this child is like with you all the time.

現在你有了這幅畫，想象一下，這個孩子就像一直和你在一起一樣。

And obviously you want the best for this child.

顯然，你也希望這個孩子得到最好的。

It's an innocent little kid that has done absolutely nothing to deserve whatever has happened to him.

這是個無辜的孩子，他完全沒有做任何事情，不應該遭受這樣的遭遇。