I think she's kind of cute, and I hope she likes me back.

And one of the reasons I love this show is because it allows me to talk about so many of my personal interests.

Science, politics, the rehydrating boost of Mountain Dew Kickstart.

But sometimes, I long to talk about something deeper with another deep person.

And when I get the urge to scratch my deep itch or my ditch, if you will,

I like to ask big questions with even bigger stars.

♪♪♪♪ -♪♪♪♪

Man, it's such a beautiful night.

I just love listening to all those frogs.

Aww!

-♪♪♪♪

Whoa!

Yeah.

What a nice night.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah, thank you, Steven.

I love listening to you, too.

Hmm.

Hey, Kermit.

Yep.

You ever wonder...

Yep.

...why we're here?

Oh, well, I think it's because your people reached out to my agent.

Pretty sure about that.

Yeah.

Hey, Kermit the Frog.

Yeah, Steven, the person?

We got a time machine.

You can go back.

What would you tell your childhood self?

I'd say, uh, just wait.

You're gonna love it when you grow your legs.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I bet that really comes as a surprise.

Pretty tough when your tail falls off.

Yeah.

Yep.

Kermit, do you mind if I ask you something, man-to-frog?

Sure, sure, buddy.

Sure.

Sure.

Do you think it's truly better to give than to receive?

Uh, yeah, unless it's, like, a high-five, and then everybody wins.

You know what I'm saying?

Give me one.

Let's give it a shot.

Give me one.

You're gonna have to hit me, pal.

How's that?

I think we made that work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the biggest number you can think of?

Oh.

Hmm.

Eight.

Yeah.

Just eight?

Well, listen, pal, you haven't seen it in person.

It's huge.

Hey, Steven, what's your biggest regret?

Oh, that's not inventing suitcase wheels.

Oh, I know, right?

Right?

It was right in front of us the whole time.

Yeah, dragging.

Why were we dragging them?

I don't understand.

On the curb, yeah.

Could have made a lot of money.

Yep.

A lot of green.

Couple wheels.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, Steven, do you ever think about how statistically, of course, we are breathing the very same air molecules that Albert Einstein once breathed?

Ah.

I was wondering what that smell was.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's not like it's bad.

It's just like an old dusty book or something.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Kerm.

Yeah, Steve-arino.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Hmm.

Well, I figure it's something like this.

You know?

Hear that?

I can't hear you over your hand.

I can't.

I can't.

You have to.

Yeah.

Yeah, good point.

Hey, Steven, what is it that makes you you?

I think it's 12 riders and two hours of makeup.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Kermit.

Yeah, buddy.

Do you think money can buy happiness?

Oh, I sure hope not.

You're talking to a guy who doesn't have any pockets.

Or might I point out pants.

True.

True.

Yeah, something like that.

Hey, you know what?

How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

Oh, that's simple.

To get to the other side.

Oh.

That's profound.

Wow.

Kermit.

Yep.

What's your biggest regret?

Ooh, signing up for high school biology class.

Yeah.

Tough.

Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.

Makes me want to crash my legs again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's tough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kermit, do you think we have free will?

Or is there someone controlling our every movement?

Um.

Gee.

Um.

I guess I never thought about it.

Yeah.

I guess I never thought about it.

Hey, Steven.

Yeah, Kermit.

Do you ever feel like we're being watched?

I certainly hope so.

After all, I'm on television.

Yeah.

And so are the Muppets.

That's right.

The Muppets, Tuesdays at 8.30 on ABC.

The great Kermit the Frog, everybody.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.