I mean, she goes on for five pages about how I was unfaithful to her.

We were on a break!

Oh my God, if you say that one more time, I'm going to break up with you.

Fine, fine, but this breakup was not all my fault.

And she says here, if you accept full responsibility, full responsibility, I can begin to trust you again.

Does that seem like something you can do?

Does it?

No.

There was a Geller Cup.

Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game.

But our dad said nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy... ...threw it in a lake.

And was the curse lifted?

Anyway, that's when Mom said we were not allowed to play football again.

You know what?

I think we should play a game.

I mean, come on.

It's been 12 years.

Can I see you for a second?

Yes!

All right, we're going to play.

But wait a minute, though.

How are we going to get there?

Because my mom won't let me cross the street.

The lightning round!

30 seconds, all the questions you can answer.

You guys are dead!

I am so good at lightning rounds!

I majored in lightning rounds, all right?

We're going to destroy you.

Want to bet?

I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.

How about we play for more money?

Say $150? $150.

Say $200? $200!

You're doing it again.

Excuse me.

Monica, I don't want to lose $200.

We won't!

Okay. $300?

Monica!

I'm just trying to spice it up.

Okay, so then play for some pepper.

Stop spending my money.

I got it.

How about if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?

Ooh, that's interesting.

Hey, no way.

That rooster's family.

Throw in the duck, too.

What do you have against the duck?

The duck doesn't make any noise.

Well, he gets the other one all riled up.

Look, we are not...

All right, hold on!

If you win, we give up the bird.

Gah!

But if we win, we get your apartment.

Ooh!

Deal!

Phoebe, your note?

Amazing.

Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me.

Yeah, a guy called me Mental.

Mental Geller.

Yeah.

I've always wanted a cool nickname like that.

Yeah, the best you got in high school was, uh, Wet Pants Geller.

It was the water fountain, okay?

Anyway...

People are writing reports for me, pushing back deadlines to fit my schedule.

I'm telling you, you get tough with people, and you can get anything you want.

Hey, Tribbiani, give me that coffee, now!

I'm the Holiday Armadillo!

I'm a friend of Santa's, and he sent me here to wish you a merry Christmas!

What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?

Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.

Oh, come in, have a seat.

You must be exhausted coming all the way from...

Texas.

Look, I studied karate for a long time.

And there's a concept you should really be familiar with.

It's what the Japanese call...

Unagi.

Isn't that a kind of sushi?

No, it's a concept.

Yeah, it is, it is.

It's freshwater eel.

All right, maybe it means that, too.

Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now.

You know what, fine, get attacked.

I don't even care.

Come on, Ross, we're sorry.

Please tell us what it is.

Unagi is a state of total awareness.

Okay?

Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.

Whoa!

Okay, Ross, I realize that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but, uh, let me explain.

We weren't doing anything!

Rach, he just saw us.

But what you saw, that is the unagi.

That is the extent of it, okay?

One kiss.

No, come on, that is a lie!

We also kissed in Barbados.

Dude, chill!

Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay?

And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.

Yeah, you started it!

I've got to chill!

Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but...

Oh, we feel so terrible about this, Ross.

Yeah, but it did happen.

So...

Ross?

Ross?

Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler!

Hey!

Hey, you guys!

Hey!

Chandler and Monica!

Chandler and Monica!

Oh, my God!

Chandler and Monica!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my eyes!

My eyes!

Phoebe!

Phoebe!

It's okay!

It's okay!

No!

They're doing it!

I know!

I know!

You know!

Yes, I know, and Joey knows, but Ross doesn't know, so you have to stop screaming!

Ooh, Phoebe, you look great.

I'm proud already.

Ooh, are you gonna do magic?

That's funny.

Change.

Hang on a second.

I just got in.

Look, I don't care.

It starts at 8.

We can't be late.

And he could not, would not want to wait.

Look, our table is down in front, okay?

And my boss is gonna be there.

Everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.

Has somebody been drinking my fat?

You guys, does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?

I don't know.

You might be the first one.

Rach, did you check the machine?

Uh, no.

Wait, you know what?

This is the outfit that makes my calves look fat.

Never mind.

Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today.

It's called Get Up.

All right.

You can have the chair.

Really?

Oh, my.

Would you look at that?

I'm with somebody else.

I'm happy.

This ship has sailed.

Okay, so what are you saying?

You're just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was that you felt for me?

Hey, I've been doing it since the ninth grade.

I've gotten pretty damn good at it.

All right, fine.

You go ahead and you do that, all right, Ross?

All right.

I don't need your stupid ship.

Good.

Good.

And you know what?

Now I got closure.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Ah!

Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Try the bottom one.