I go, Frankie, whatever you want to do, let's do it.

Okay, well, can we go to an arcade?

Arcade?

Dude, you have a Nintendo Wii at your house.

And then I had a flashback to 20 years ago.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm turning into my mom.

Come on, dude, let's go.

I take him to this big old freaking arcade, right?

And I felt so out of it because I didn't know you couldn't put money in the machines anymore.

Man, I remember quarters.

I'm thinking, here, five bucks.

And he's like looking at me like, what?

Go play.

And he's like, he came right back.

All done.

I'm like, dude, I didn't know this.

You have to go to another machine, put in money, and then it gives you a card.

And then you swipe that card to play video games.

And the game he wants to play doesn't cost a quarter.

It costs $3 a game.

Big old machine called Dance Dance Revolution.

Some of you know this game?

Maybe sort of.

For those of you that don't know the game, it's pretty simple.

It's a dancing game.

And there's a big screen.

And then arrows come out to music.

And whatever arrow comes out, that's the arrow you have to step on when it comes out.

Kind of cool, but all the music is techno.

And it's loud.

I know I'm getting older because I'm like, they got to turn that down.

Dance Dance Revolution.

Revolution.

Get ready.

And the kids are like, I'm ready.

Select music.

And that's what they dance to.

Ready?

Go.

Perfect.

And the kid's like, woo!

And I'm like.

I love this game, but they need to have something that's more fluffy friendly.

So the fluffy people and parents can hang and enjoy.

We're watching this game for over an hour.

I told Frankie, let's go play another game.

And then we'll come back where the line goes down.

The line never goes down.

Great.

So I'm watching kid after kid after kid.

Serious?

How much is it?

It's $3 a dance. $3 a dance?

And then I thought about it.

Well, I paid $20 two nights ago.

So I guess $3 isn't that bad.

Now that I think about it.

Some of you are clapping.

Some are like, I don't get it.

Yeah, whatever.

Anyway.

So kid after kid, then I found something out.

You can always spot that one kid who you just know is going to grow up to be a little bit more creative than others by the way he plays the game.

And all the other little kids, they know something's up.

They're like, you got to watch.

When Benji plays, you got to watch.

Sure enough, here comes Benji, right?

Dance, dance, revolution.

Get ready.

I'm so ready.

Oh, it's on.

Select music.

Ready?

Go.

This dude took off.

I know.

Frankie's like, I'm next.

You can't follow that.

You better come over here and play some Street Fighter, man.

Let me show you how to throw a fireball.

And it's funny because, you know, for me to relate to my son, it's a little challenging, you guys.

And it's not that I can't relate to a teenager because I can.

I can relate to almost any age.

You know, I got people that brought kids here tonight.

The problem is, is that my son doesn't see me as an entertainer.

He sees me as the guy that tells him to take a shower, put on deodorant, you know, stop picking your nose.

That's me.

His friends, on the other hand, I'm like a god to his friends.

Every time I drop off Frankie at school now, I pull up.

The kids see my car.

They freak out, and they run over to it, and they put their hands on it like it's a shrine.

They touch the car like freaking...

Some of you got that.

Gracias.

Anyway, then the kids start shaking my car side to side, chanting, Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy.

And Frankie's in the front seat, pissed.

He's pissed.

He's like, this is bullshit.

I'm like, hey, dude, don't get mad at me because I'm more popular than you at your school.

Little hater.

He gets out of the car, old man.

They're still chanting, Fluffy, Fluffy.

The thing is, is that our worlds are very different.

His world revolves around Grand Theft Auto, the video game, YouTube, and girls.

He's really good at two of those.

The other one, not so much.

And it's not that I'm trying to be a hater about it.

It's just that I tell Frankie, listen, you need to start having more conversations.

You need to become more talkative and interact like this.

See, he'd rather text than talk.

That's his whole thing.

I'm like, dude, you got to start to talk to me.

I wish you would talk to me more.

You could learn a lot about talking by talking to me.

I'm just saying, I only do it professionally.

But no, he'd rather text.

It's at the point now where if I'm in the house and I yell, Frankie, did you take out the trash?

Nothing.

All of a sudden, cling, I take out my phone.

No.

But if I say, I got money for you, freaking Houdini, right?

Oh, hello.

Because you can't text cash.

That's my big thing right now.

I just want him to take out the trash.

He's 16 years old now.

He should have been doing this since he was 10.

But you know, better late than never.

And what he does is he'll sit in the living room and he tunes out the rest of the house.

He sits there and he'll put on these headphones that I got him for Christmas a couple of years ago.

These beats with the freaking studio button.

And it cuts out all of the sound.

They are so strong that when he starts watching his YouTube videos, he can't hear himself laugh.

And for me, that is the funniest thing in the world.

I'm in the other room and I can hear him.

This is what I hear.

Ah, I'm in the other room like, who brought the Germans?

And so I walk out into the living room and I see Frankie and he's laughing at his phone and I got to flag him down.

And he'll take them off.

What?

What's up, dad?

I go, Frankie, can you do me a favor?

Can you please take out the trash?

Okay.

And then he puts them back on.

What?

Now?

I go, yes, now.

When you ask me for a ride, it's because you need a ride when you ask for a ride, not later.

Then he says, where are we going?

Just take out the trash.

And then he does it.

He takes out the trash, but he acts like he's doing me the biggest favor in the world.

And he stares me down and he doesn't break eye contact.

He's like.

And then I'll hold the bag over the can and he makes a sound.

I'm like, dude, so much drama.

It's crazy.

I'd like to have normal conversations with him, but usually I got to take it that far for us to interact.

You know, I look forward to conversations, even if it's something small and minute.

At least it gives me a chance to trigger another conversation with him.

I look forward to a few things.

I look forward to December because in December, Frankie becomes very chatty.

Otherwise he's one word kid.

Parents, you know what I'm talking about?

Kids, one word kid.

And you try to talk to them.

Hey, how's your day?

Good.

You have any homework?

Yeah.

You're going to do it?

Maybe.

You hungry?

What do you want?

Food.

Usually that's what I get.

But December rolls around and guess what December is?

December is when he becomes very chatty because he has an agenda.

All of a sudden he goes from one word kid to very like, hey, how's your week, dad?

You doing good?

Yeah.

How are the shows going?

You doing all right?

Do you need anything?

You need anything?

I'm like, I needed this in July.

Just saying.

And I know it's fake, but at least once again, it allows me to put my real conversation on top of his fake one.

And if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes.

I stopped going to Disneyland a long time ago because you know what?

Those roller coasters are not fluffy friendly.

Disney cares.

That's why there's safety there.

They have all those different harnesses.

And if you're over 300 pounds, just stay in the parking lot because they got the whole, you know, you're fluffy.

Forget it.

That's why I love a ghetto ass carnival.

You know, those ones they build in like six hours.

I can still ride those roller coasters.

It's only one bar, three clicks.

That's it.

If it locks, good.

If it doesn't, hold on.

Plus, fluffy people never fall.

We never fall.

You know who falls?

The skinny guy that got stuck next to us.

That's who.

More room.

But me and Disney, no, no mas.

But I had to because I messed up.

I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up all, you know, and Frankie was watching TV.

He goes, look here, bro.

Look, Disneyland.

And I was like, dude, what's the big deal?

Okay.

It's Disneyland.

What?

You never gone?

My dad never took me.

Oh, mother.

Next morning.

Welcome to the magical world of Disney.

We walk in the park.

He's all happy.

Yeah, we get into the middle of the park.

And he's so funny.

He starts getting winded.

I thought it was hysterical because up until then, I only saw myself get like that, you know?

So to see a little 10 year old version of hysterical.

I go, Frankie, you want to take a break?

Gabriel, this park is big.

Like, see, it's not a small world after all.

Whatever, dude, sit down.

So we're sitting down waiting.

All of a sudden, I start getting recognized at Disneyland.

And that for me was cool.

You know, people are walking by.

Fluffy.

Can we take a picture?

Sure.

More people.

It's him.

It's that guy.

Pikachu.

Now I have like 10 people around me.

Like I'm a new character at the park.

Best part is Frankie starts getting annoyed.

He's like, we'll have to leave you alone.

Frankie, these are the people that come to the shows.

They're the reason why you have a PlayStation.