- IN GEORGE CLOONEY'S LIFE?

- YES, YES.

NO, LET'S START WITH YOUR LIFE. - OKAY.

- SO YOU HAVE--HOW MANY-- FIVE CHILDREN?

HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

- SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE FIVE. - YOU HAVE THREE.

YOU HAVE TWINS... - ONLY THREE.

I HAVE THREE, YES.

- TWINS AND THEN A CHILD ON ITS OWN.

[laughter]

HOW OLD ARE ALL OF THEM?

- THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME CONFUSION.

WELL, ACTUALLY, HENRY, OUR YOUNGEST, WHO IS SIX,

HE SAYS THAT HE AND HIS BROTHER AND SISTER, HAZEL AND FINN,

THAT THEY'RE THREE TWINS.

- MM-HMM, SO HE'S NOT SMART.

[laughter]

- IT'S NOT ABOUT INTELLECT.

IT'S ABOUT HEART.

- HE'S CHARMING.

- NO, HE FEELS THAT THEY ARE SO CLOSE

THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY-- WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT

THAT WE HAVE TWINS IN OUR FAMILY,

HE THINKS THAT THE THREE OF THEM ARE THE TWINS.

- YEAH.

- HE'S AN IDIOT.

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, NO.

- SEE?

OH, I SAY IT, AND EVERYONE TURNS AGAINST ME.

HE'S MY CHILD.

- HE'S YOUR CHILD. YOU SHOULD DEFEND HIM.

BUT I CAN...

NO, I THINK THAT'S-- 'CAUSE IT MUST BE--

IT MUST BE HARD FOR HIM TO HEAR EVERYBODY, LIKE,

TALK ABOUT TWINS AND GIVE THEM A LOT OF ATTENTION.

- BUT NOBODY REALLY SAYS "TWINS."

- MM-HMM.

UM...

[laughter]

SORRY, I JUST FELL ASLEEP FOR A SECOND--

- WHERE DID YOU GO?

[laughter]

[snores]

DO YOU EVER SCARE THEM?

DO YOU SCARE YOUR CHILDREN?

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S THE THING.

AS MUCH AS I DO NOT LIKE TO BE SCARED,

HOW MANY MOMS HERE HAVE EVER SCARED YOUR CHILD,

AND THEY ARE SO EASILY SCARED,

AND THEN YOU GET THE FEVER FOR IT?

[laughter]

- SOMEONE HERE IS SAYING YES, SHE HAS SCARED HER CHILD.

- YEAH, RIGHT?

AND, I MEAN, JUST A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO--

AND I HAD TO STOP MYSELF, 'CAUSE I REALIZED THIS IS--

THERE'S SOMETHING DISTURBING OR, LIKE,

POTENTIALLY ABUSIVE AND LONG-LASTING.

BUT THE OTHER WEEK,

THERE WAS JUST SUCH A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.

I WAS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS,

AND MY OLDEST SON WAS COMING DOWN THE HALL...

[laughs]

IT'S SO WRONG.

THIS PROVES ABSOLUTELY I DON'T GO OUT ENOUGH AT ALL,

BECAUSE WHEN HE CAME AROUND, I JUST JUMPED DOWN AND SAID,

"BOO," AND HE SPRUNG OUT

HIS LEGS AND HIS ARMS AND WENT UP

AND OBVIOUSLY SCARED THE BEJESUS OUT OF HIM.

- WAIT, SO HIS--

- I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

- WELL, OF COURSE, THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT--

LIKE A CARTOON, LIKE, HIS LEGS AND--

- WHOO-WHOO. - YEAH.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN.

WHY NOT?

- YOU HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF, THOUGH.

- YEAH, NO. - YOU HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF.

BECAUSE YOU'RE THE PARENT.

- YEAH, YEAH.

[laughter]

- BUT YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

OH, IT'S FUNNY.

WOW, I AM JUST WATERWORKS HERE.

- YEAH.

HOW MUCH DRINKING DO YOU DO ALONE?

[laughter]