Without Yunjin, I don't even know where to start.

There's some idols that have such a robust artistic identity, history, message, it's hard to put into words. Yunjin's story is one filled with more ups and downs, moments of happiness, sadness, and determination than is shown in manga. But through it all, she's become one of the most respected idols, whose confidence and authenticity can be felt throughout the K-pop community.

I mean, what other K-pop idols have written and released multiple solos so quickly after debut, and have even illustrated their own music videos? Not a lot. So let's go fear not, and take a deep dive into the mind of Ha Yunjin. And you know what that means, right? It's back to the very beginning.

Yunjin was born on October 8th, 2001 in South Korea, but moved to America when she was only 8 months old. She lived in California, and also Chicago, until her family finally settled near

Albany, New York. Her affinity for music had always been around. She would go to choir with her grandma, who was a vocalist herself. But equal to her interest in music, was her interest in stories. She enjoyed reading, and started making her own lyrics by age 8. In an interview with W magazine, she said,

So it was very creative. Her and her sister would make videos about their own songs all the time.

Performing quickly became a passion of hers. However, she didn't understand the true power of songwriting, until her friend introduced her to a certain artist.

Swift was the catalyst. She realized that honesty was powerful. A story with an uncompromising message left little room for misunderstanding, something we can see in Yunjin's songs to this day.

Around 7th grade, she started taking singing lessons in classical music, and in high school, participated in a musical which eventually went viral.

But throughout it all, Yunjin really couldn't figure out where she belonged.

And thus, she began her rollercoaster of a journey into Kpop. As it just so happened, some global auditions were coming to town. She sang Adele's When We Were Young.

Before she knew it, she was a trainee at SM. But even though she met some people there, who she totally wouldn't have lasting friendships with, they let her go.

The next company she joined was Pledis, and that's when she joined survival show Produce48.

I know for many, this was their first time seeing Yunjin, myself included. Honestly,

I didn't realize Kihyun, Chan, and Yunjin were the same person until I researched for this video.

Kind of embarrassing. While she got to show people the power of her voice, and meet a lot of important people in the industry, the exposure wasn't all great.

She was called greedy for wanting another chance to be main vocalist. But she rose past that.

Despite the heartbreak of being eliminated, Yunjin continued to practice, until one September night,

I got called into the office and they sat me down. They were like, you will no longer be able to come along with us. Your path ends here.

Think about this, moving all the way to Korea, away from your family, making what is essentially your public debut, being criticized by the internet, and eliminated, let go again from the company you've been at, saying goodbye to all the trainees who have become your friends. When I went back to the US, I don't know, I went through every state of despair.

First, I was very much at peace. I was like, it's okay, it's fine. And then, as time went on,

I was like, no, it's not fine, what am I going to do? Then I was angry. Then I was so sad.

Then I was upset. Then I felt guilty at times. Then I felt sorry again. And then, in the end,

I got myself together, and I was like, I'm going to start a new life.

It was off to business school, or opera. Whatever it may be, she wanted to forget the word idle, it becoming a trigger for the memories of the cycle of success and failure that defined all her recent years. But when Yun-Jin uncovered an old guitar one day, she realized the feelings deep in her heart. She was never going back. Everything she wanted to say, the lyrics she wrote, and the feelings she had, they weren't going away anytime soon. She would go back one day. One day, she would- who, who, who's that? Hello? Oh, Chairman Bang. You're making a new girl group and you want, you want Yun-Jin to be in it? Now, this call wasn't a coincidence.

As Yun-Jin explained herself,

Yun-Jin had the passion, the personal journey. HYBE called because there was no trainee on the planet who could embody the values of Le Seraphim more than her. Now that we've made it to the point where Yun-Jin is in the group, I'd like to make a distinction between Le Seraphim Yun-Jin, and Ha Yun-Jin. As she says herself,

So we have Ha Yun-Jin, and the ideal she tries to be. That's the lens through which I'd like to focus on her after-debut career with. We can see this by exploring her solos, and how they reflect her reality. Let's start with Raise Your Glass. It's a potent, double-sided message about expressing gratitude for those who stick up and support you, while addressing those who have nothing better to do than attack you.

But more than anything, it feels like an admission of reality.

This is the first instance of Yun-Jin laying her mind bare. She speaks of vulnerability, a line that's a potent reminder that becoming an idol with a certain image doesn't mean you live that image.

Yun-Jin knows that even her haters are troubled in their own way, and wishes that even they find healing somewhere, somehow. A powerful statement that's filled with compassion and melancholy rather than anger. In the end, what rings true is in this ugly world where the color is fading, everyone owes it to themselves to find the beautiful people that support them.

I used to think, why do I always have to walk a difficult road? But if I think about it, it's because I have to take the difficult road to see, learn, and feel more. I feel like it's okay to walk that road, even if it's a winding one, as long as I'm with Le Seraphim, because we're taking it together. I'm Not a Doll is much more pointed than her first song, a decisive finger aimed at fake fans and haters who only view idols for their looks, like they're dolls to play with. It's a message many of us knew, but some of us needed to hear. The fact less than a year after debut, Yun-Jin was able to make this, curse words and all, is striking. She tells W Magazine,

Art is personal. It has to be personal for people to really feel it. There are a lot of unspoken things that we all feel, but also feel like societally we shouldn't say or express. I wanted to make the first punch to dismantle that way of thinking. Yun-Jin had something she wanted to say, and she said it.

Love you twice, or 변하도록 in Korean, is practically a letter from Ha Yun-Jin to Le

Seraphim Yun-Jin, a desire to be her perfect self put into words. She herself wants to be an inspiration to others just like the ideal Yun-Jin, the idol in her head is. And while she has a long way to go, she's doing a great job.

Her latest song, Blessing in Disguise, describes the feelings Yun-Jin had after leaving her trainee life behind and going back to America. It conveys the dizzying drive to still move forward, even if you don't know where to go. The odd state of having to start anew with no plan, yet being bound in your heart to the same dream that just sent you home. But as she looks back at that era, she realizes something. Everything happens for a reason, and in retrospect, I'd like to thank my younger self for enduring everything. In the end, every decision I made helped me find this family, and this team that I can call my home. Now, if you don't think Yun-Jin was the best choice to be in Le Seraphim by this point, I sentence you to feeling the pain of facing that truth. Her ideas are echoed in Le

Seraphim's comebacks, her lyrics weave their way into the group's discography. She's breaking down walls in the K-pop industry by choosing to be honest and vulnerable. She says to NME that it might be too vulnerable, but at the same time, I have this belief that there will be someone, somewhere out there, who will relate and get even the littlest bit, an ounce of reassurance that they're not an outcast, or they're not someone who's alone. I think that it is therapeutic for me to put that stuff out there, to just express my feelings. At the same time, it's therapeutic to know that I might be doing something good for the world. And I'm excited to see what she does next, because... Hope you guys enjoyed! If you did, remember to like and subscribe for more, that way you'll get notified whenever I start making polls to decide whoever I'm deep diving next. I feel like after a while, I'll have to make another video on Yun-Jin. There's seriously so many fascinating things she's said that I didn't even get a chance to mention. But for now, it's on to the next deep dive. See you guys around for that! Annyeong!