I had become convinced that the only path to freedom was to quit the 9 to 5 rat race.

But after spending so long working for an organization and now also having seen the other side and experienced what it's like to work for yourself, I've now realized that the real issue wasn't my job, it was me.

And so in this video, I wanted to share some of the hidden secrets that I've learned that can help you break free and fully thrive no matter where you work.

Number one, realize that you're not dependent on anyone.

When I worked for an organization, I remember there was this one time where I was on a team call and my boss, my direct line manager, had a heated debate with someone else in the organization.

And that conversation became personal and after the call, he wanted me to send an email to the other person.

He drafted it and it was emotional, it was rude, but he didn't want to be the person that it came from.

And so I drafted it and I told him I'm happy to send it, but it is a watered down version and it was more factual.

And he looked at it and he said, I have to use the email that he drafted.

And his words were, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

Those were his exact words.

And I remember in that moment, I felt so stressed and pressured.

I felt like this person had complete control over me, that if I didn't do as he said, it would impact my pay, my promotion, it would even cost me my job.

But looking back, I realized that the real issue wasn't my job or my boss, it was my own mindset.

I had created this narrative in my head that I was trapped with no other options and I was so attached to the security of this paycheck that I was willing to compromise my own values instead of realizing all of the other options I actually had.

And I thank him now because I get to share this story with you and pass on what I've learned from it, which is no matter where you work, never believe that you are dependent on any one thing or person.

But your current situation is not the only option that you have.

There are so many other paths and other ways to create the life and career that you want.

By the way, if you like these kind of videos where I talk about what I've learned through my life experiences and what I'm learning on a daily basis and how that changes the path or the way I navigate life going forward, then you'll enjoy my newsletter.

I send it out whenever I learn something new, really, every week, every two weeks, and it's completely free.

The link is in the description.

Number two, find your flow state.

There's this beautiful concept from the book Flow, and I love the philosophy behind this.

The author explains that we are living in one of two states.

One is when your challenge is greater than your skill.

And when you're in that state, you're depressed, you're frustrated, you're disappointed.

Your challenge is greater than your skill.

The other state or the other category is when your skill is greater than your challenge.

When you're at this state, you feel lethargic, you procrastinate, you become complacent.

And the people who I found, who I speak to, who feel like they have most autonomy, who feel like they're at their happiness, are sitting in this perfect place of flow state.

They feel momentum, they're thriving, they're in this state of flow where their skill matches their challenge.

And so often we feel trapped purely because we've been doing what we know how to do for too long.

So even now, if I only recorded YouTube videos, it wouldn't challenge me anymore.

I've done it consistently for almost two years.

But any time I do something bigger, harder, more scaled up, or that challenges me, so I went live on television for the first time last week, and that scared me a bit.

And it's those moments that made me feel like I'm growing.

You need a little bit of discomfort to feel free.

So at any given time in your career, ask yourself, do you need to improve your challenge or do you need to improve your skill set?

If it's your challenge, are you going to increase the scale of what you're doing, the scope, your level of responsibility?

It doesn't mean doing something completely new.

It just may mean doing something with more detail or something bigger.

The key is to find that sweet spot where your skill matches your challenge.

By the way, sometimes you might find something is really out of your comfort zone or that the skills required are far greater than what you think you can achieve.

And one thing you can do to close that gap is to see if there are any tools out there to support you.

And that is where the sponsor of today's video comes in, and that is Grammarly.

I use Grammarly almost every day by default.

It's an AI writing partner designed to help you write better and faster.

And unlike any other AI tool I've come across, Grammarly works where you work.

So you don't need to copy and paste between platforms.

And that has been a complete game changer.

The free version checks your spelling and grammar.

It offers you suggestions as you write and it includes AI features.

And then the premium version, which is what I now pay for, also predicts what questions a reader would ask when reading your text.

And then it helps you tailor your work to fill in those gaps up front.

So whether it's providing more context or offering solutions to a problem, it goes above and beyond what you'd usually think to write.

It spots the gaps in your work.

It also has an app action function which lets you focus on your work without needing to switch between apps.

So for example, grabbing a Google Drive link for this important email without even having to open a new window or tab.

If you want to check out the features I've just mentioned, you can check out Grammarly Premium by signing up using the link in the description.

Number three, fill your free time with work.

And this is a really small mindset shift that completely changed the way I now think about work.

I used to think of work as something that dictates my life.

It took away from my ability to live the way I wanted to.

Because what I used to do is carve out chunks of my time for work and then I'll just leave my evenings and weekends open.

And so inevitably, those evenings and weekends would be filled up with more work because I had nothing else planned.

And even when I wasn't physically working, I wouldn't be doing anything else to distract me.

And so in the back of my head, I'll be thinking about working.

Then I thought, what if I flipped this the other way around?

So instead of work being carved out first, I plan my life first, and then work can become the filler, not the focus.

So since the start of this year, I've started to plan my week ahead on Sundays and I'll pre-commit to activities like classes, social events, reading or whatever.

And then work would fill the gaps with purpose and productivity.

So for instance, this week already, I've got dinner planned on Tuesday with a friend.

I've got a Salsa class on Thursday in the evening.

I'm in a new coffee shop that I've wanted to try out for a while on Thursday afternoon.

And I've booked in Reforma Pilates during Friday lunchtime.

And now all my work will fit around this.

And I really recommend this, doing it on Sunday before your work week starts.

Pre-commit to activities for your personal life and the things that really bring you joy.

This way, work becomes what you do in the slots that aren't already filled with life.

Next, we have a diversify your identity.

When we think of Google, a lot of us think that it's just the world's biggest search engine.

But when you actually look into what Google's vision is, it's to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.

It's so much more than a search engine, which lets Google venture into various fields from AI to self-driving cars.

Same thing with Apple.

It started as a computer company, but the vision of Apple is to bring the best user experience to its customers through innovative hardware, software and services.

These huge companies never tie themselves into any one label or tie themselves to the thing that they started off with.

And it gave them the freedom to explore so many other things.

Often we tie our entire identity to one thing.

And that is usually dictated around our job.

We think that our job title defines everything we can be or do.

And I've been there.

When I worked in banking, I saw myself solely as a corporate professional.

My entire identity was wrapped up in that role.

And for a long time, I didn't see myself as doing anything else.

The idea of starting something new felt impossible because I confined myself to this narrow identity of being a corporate girl.

And if you label yourself too early and you pin yourself to this identity that is based on what you currently do, it's very easy to then trap yourself into thinking a certain way and never giving yourself the freedom to explore other areas that interest you.

But you can be completely different things.

You can be a painter and a data analyst.

You can be a yoga enthusiast and a gamer.

You can be a writer and a chef.

You can be an your job title.

What passions or interests can you explore to broaden your sense of self in a way that doesn't make you feel trapped to one identity?

And finally, my favourite, number five.

There's so much conditioning that we have to always be nice and to tiptoe around other people's opinions.

But sometimes a real way to feel free and to not let work take full control of your life is to not care about what other people think and do what is best for you.

For example, say someone at your company asks you to do something that's a favour that's outside of your job description.

It's not exactly something that will help you get promoted or help you pay.

And it's coming from someone who never does you any favours or helps you out in return.

Do you do it?

Well, no, you shouldn't.

And I'm speaking from experience.

When I started working at Deutsche Bank and I first moved into front office, I wanted to please everyone and just do a good job.

And I found it so hard to set boundaries with other people in the team.

There was another junior person who'd been working in the team for longer than I had, who'd always asked me to stay back after she left and do these admin tasks that she didn't want to do.

These tasks didn't give me any recognition or any glory.

I didn't benefit from them at all.

And the first time she asked, I did it as a favour.

The second time I did it as a favour.

And the third or fourth time, I set my boundaries in place.

Because ultimately, your company will try to get as much out of you as you can.

And you are the person that needs to set these boundaries.

And there's a famous quote by Brene Brown, daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.

The reason I wanted to make this video is because earlier in this year, I had this amazing sponsor approach me, and they were going to work with me for a huge amount.

But the caveat was that they would literally tell me what I had to say and when I had to say it word for word, it wasn't coming from me.

And it made me feel back to where I was five years ago, where my whole life was being dictated by someone else.

And I felt like I was being dependent on something else.

I didn't have full control over what I did.

And I didn't feel free.

And so if you're not careful, it doesn't matter where you work, it doesn't matter what you do, you can always end up not realizing that you keep building a cage around yourself that stops you from having control over the decisions you make.

Quitting a nine to five isn't always an option.

But the other things that I've spoken about in this video, setting boundaries, doing things outside of work, changing your mindset when it comes to who owns you.

These are all things that are fully within your control.

So I hope that helps.

If you like this video, you'll also enjoy this video right here on millionaire habits that changed my life.

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