This is what you got to do with your life.

Hell no, if you like burgers, kill it.

Dale gas.

I'm just saying, that's what I'm going through.

And then people think, oh, he's trying to lose weight because he's doing movies.

He wants to look better.

He wants to be accepted.

He wants to be accepted.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't get it twisted, you guys.

Don't even think that.

At my highest weight of 445 pounds, the level of acceptance I had was amazing.

Okay?

To put it to you like this, to put it to you like this, at 445 pounds, there was women throwing themselves at me.

At 445 pounds, there was men.

Oh, in Bay Area, let me tell you something about gay men.

I know you're in here.

I saw the line.

I'm going to tell you something about gay men.

Gay men are very creative, they're very persistent, and they're very opportunistic when they want to achieve the mission.

They're just as calculated as straight men are.

I'll give you an example.

I'll tell you a story, right?

So, one night, Martine and I are at a bar, and we're having drinks.

And that should come as no surprise.

Really?

They were drinking?

Yeah, we killed it.

So, as we're drinking, Martine is paying attention, and he's listening in to a conversation that's happening about 15 feet away between these two girls.

They're going back and forth, and one of them was like, I don't believe we finished the whole bottle.

How the hell are we supposed to get home?

Martine stands up, looks at me, and says, bro, I'll be back.

And then it began, the hunt.

You know, freaking, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him.

Gay men are the exact same way.

They listen, they focus, they pay attention, they wait for one of the cows to get away from the rest of the herd so they can corner it and strike.

Four hours later, Martine and I are at the bar, and I'm 16 shots of tequila in.

Oh, yeah, and I feel fantastic.

And I tell Martine, bro, I don't remember the last time I had this many shots of tequila.

And Martine goes, bro, you're crazy, Fluffy, you're crazy.

Wait right here.

I gotta pee.

And so he leaves to the restroom, and I'm leaning against the bar.

The bar is the only thing keeping me standing.

And from across the room, this guy stands up, looks at his friends, and says, I'll be back.

And then it began, the hunt.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

And he gets in my face and he tells me, I just have to say, I am such a huge fan of yours.

Oh, my God.

Anytime someone says they're a huge fan of mine, it automatically makes me smile, even more so if I've been drinking.

Oh, yeah.

If I'm drinking, I'm like, thank you.

Thank you.

Bro, I was so loaded, I bowed.

Thank you.

The guy puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, I just have to say, you have gotten me through some difficult times.

And he stops talking and he squeezes and he goes, oh, my God.

Do you work out?

I was so drunk, I said, a little.

You're the first person to notice.

And he's like, oh, you can totally tell.

And he squeezed again.

And I said, I'm sorry.

Am I overstepping?

He's like, no, bro, you don't understand.

I'm stressed out.

That felt pretty good.

Want me to rub both your shoulders and your back and scratch it?

Because I will.

Hey, go for it.

He grabs me by the shoulders, you guys.

He grabs me by the shoulders and he turns me around.

Now I'm facing the bartender and the bartender is trying to warn me.

The bartender's like, hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm so drunk, I'm like.

It's time to say hello.

It's time to let you know.