Don't apologize. They seem nice.

Well, you wouldn't say that if you ever saw us in the movies.

Alright, we got our popcorn from home, our soda from home, our snacks from home, and Braveheart.

Wow, a paying grown-up job!

I haven't been this excited about anything since the night Wicked premiered in Quahog.

Alright, Brian, let's rob these gay guys.

What if they're home?

They're not gonna be home.

Look, I even brought Tom Sizemore's Game of Life.

Sell rights to saving Private Ryan residuals to buy a case of Coors Light.

Steal your son's wallet while he's in the shower.

Miss Audition.

Scoop someone's urine from Starbucks toilet to pass drug test.

Feels like we should be moving these pieces backwards.

Oh, my God, that's always been a dream of mine!

Well, that and tuning a guitar in front of a live audience.

This was in perfect tune when they handed it to me.

Hey, guys, how about a little TV?

We can watch a baby thing together.

Baby Einstein.

Muppet babies.

Uh, what's CSI babies?

What's this?

They can't solve this crime.

They're just frightened babies.

They don't even know it's a crime.

They just know their parents aren't there.

They're scared, now I'm scared.

Turn this off!

Ah, that's not what I want!

Ah, I'm gonna go hide in my couch fort!

Is CSI babies over yet?

Brian, this does not seem appropriate to watch in front of the baby.

Not appropriate?

You took me to see Magic Mike XXL.

Yep, this one's wet.

This one, too.

Also wet.

Huh, this one's dry, but the back of the seat in front of it is wet.

You know, many viewers think our cutaways are just whipped together, but they actually go through a rigorous testing process before filming.

This is the planet Jupiter, and he could say, next year is my star mitzvah.

Ha-ha!

They love it.

Tell the director. Where is he?

It says don't take it with alcohol, but you should take it with alcohol.

Yeah, duh.

I also need a couple for the girl I'm babysitting.

Yeah, because we don't want to make a big mistake, like when I peed next to the chatty guy.

Hey, man, we should get out of here.

The building's on fire.

Hey, pal, not now. I'm busy.

Anyway, I'll tell you what's on fire.

My urethra.

That's the last time I go to a water park.

I'll tell you that much.

Well, that's not completely true, because I have a group on, and I'd hate to waste it.

Blast the truth is, the kid...

Oh, my God.

I was the chatty guy.

Open the door, or I'll start executing passengers.

Man, coming on this trip was a terrible idea.

I know.

Now I wish I'd just stayed home and finished my remake of Inside Out.

I'm Joy.

I'm Sadness.

I'm Anger.

I'm Disgust.

I'm Pooh.

Oh, I need to use the bathroom.

Yay, I win!

I don't know. We've always had each other's backs.

Like when we used to rob banks in lesser-known President's Masks.

All right, remember to tell everyone who did this.

Um, who are you guys supposed to be?

Oh, come on. I'm James K. Polk.

He's Millard Fillmore.

He's William Henry Harrison.

First president to die in office.

You should have been FDR.

Why?

Because of the, you know...

The wheelchair doesn't define me!

And I'm Grover Cleveland.

It's funny, because my name's Cleveland.

Aw, damn it, Cleveland. Now we got to kill them all.

This guy gets it first.

That bastard's just getting famous by tricking people, like Orson Welles.

So, the aliens have come to Earth to destroy all mankind.

And, uh, they're going to start at McDonald's.

So if you're in line there, you better run.

Whoa, whoa. Not the workers, though.

They've already said the workers are safe.

Why would the principal make all the students do that?

I don't know. I think he's going through a tough time.

He's in the middle of a bad divorce.

What? How do you know that?

He's actually been pretty open about it.

Good morning, students.

Today at 3.30, James Woods High will be hosting a cross-country meet.

Which also happens to be where Lorraine has threatened to take my children across the country.

And here's today's Tuesday trivia question.

Does this sound like yelling?

Because apparently this sounds to some people like yelling.

All right, fine.

I mean, it's not the first time I pretended to be someone else.

I once dressed as a farmer to get a date on FarmersOnly.com.

Are you Peter?

Yeah. Are you the gross lady who lives in the converted horse trailer?

You don't have to be lonely at FarmersOnly.com.

It doesn't say whites only, but...

yeah.

Hey!

Boy, that was rough.

This sport's even more dangerous than skeet shooting.

Pull!

I got in the wrong line!

Stewie, I've been standing here the whole time.

You know what? That's fine.

I'll just go have a dog-style celebration by myself.

Yeah! Awesome time!

This is very fun for me!

Hey! Oh, hey!

This is fun, right?

The best! And me too!

Oh, Rupert, I can't believe Taylor Swift is actually going to be in our house.

I haven't been this excited since I abused those caffeine pills to get ready for the big show.

Everything will be fine, as long as I take one of these.

Pills? You actually are taking drugs?

Stewie, give me those!

I can't, Zach! I need them to sing!

I'm so excited!

I'm so excited!

I'm so scared!

I'm so scared!

I'm so scared!

Screech is going to stab someone on Christmas.

Screech is going to stab someone on Christmas.

I mean, can you imagine if we had our own medieval castle?

I bet it'd be even more fun than when I went to White Castle.

Huh.

Names are a little deceiving.