Name: How to set the right goals and stay motivated | Ayelet Fishbach | TED
Uploaded: 2024-08-18T16:33:30.000Z
Duration: 17 min 5 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

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A good friend has recently shared that she's feeling tired, like really tired, not I did not get enough sleep tired, but something deeper than that.

She said she feels, and I'm quoting, as if I have lost my motivation.

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I call her brave because she's so clearly dedicated to her job and conducts herself with professionalism and kindness.

She's a wonderful parent who cares for her children, and she's very responsible when it gets to her finance and health.

Millennial and Gen Z employees tell me that they feel uninspired at work.

Half of American employees are currently looking for a different job.

All their employees tell me that they can't wait to retire.

And when I ask about life at home, people say that they struggle with their finance and health, do you?

The national data suggests that chronic diseases, such as diabetes and heart disease, are on the rise.

The median American family has only beat over $5,000 in savings, barely enough to pay next month's rent.

Turn out you cannot lose your motivation because you never owned it in the first place.

Motivation, and that shouldn't surprise you, isn't your car key or wallet.

Well, motivation is not about being strong, it's about being wise.

You may think of motivation as a muscle, thinking some people have strong motivation muscles, others are weak.

And so today, I would like to help each of you, and America, become wiser so that you are more motivated and hence better able to achieve your goals, your dreams, your aspirations.

And given what the world has been throwing at you, that might be a good time to refresh your knowledge.

To be motivated, you either change the situation or the way you think about the situation.

You change the circumstances or the way you think about the circumstances.

So if you want to be more physically active, there is no point in yelling at yourself.

My friend wanted to be motivated at work, so she identified a project she wanted to complete.

That was a goal, and it's a good motivation strategy.

The problem, my friend identified a project she wished she had already completed, not something she was looking forward to doing.

If you ever set a goal you wish you had already completed but had less interest in actually completing, most goals are abandoned because we want to be the person who has done it, not the person who is currently doing it.

When we are excited about doing the work, we are intrinsically motivated.

We care about the way almost as much as we are looking forward to the destination.

In our research, we found that most goals are abandoned not because they are not important.

People actually are not more likely to adhere to their important compared to unimportant goals.

Most goals are abandoned because people don't enjoy pursuing them.

Your enjoyment is what predicts whether you will stick with the goal.

Exciting goals are never a chore or a meal.

Ever wondered why Chicago diners would circle the block for 30 minutes looking for free parking but will not think twice before spending the money they have just saved on parking on ordering another cocktail?

Well, we don't like to pay for parking or shipping.

Students don't like to study for prerequisite classes because all these are means.

We did a study that showed us just how much you dislike to invest in means.

In our study, we auctioned a book for some people and then we auctioned the University of Chicago tote bag to other people.

The average person was willing to pay $23 for the book but only $12 for the tote bag.

The catch, the tote bag contained the book and people knew it.

Why would the people that were bidding on a tote bag that contained a book be willing to pay less?

Okay, so you set a goal that is intrinsically motivated.

You are excited about the way just as much as you want to reach the destination.

A couple of weeks passed and you have not been doing much lately.

It has now been four or six months and your motivation is on the decline.

Well, motivation is going to be high when we just start on something and toward the end, but it will decline in the middle.

My friend might start her project with much enthusiasm, then her motivation will decline.

Toward the deadline, it will pick up again.

A few years ago, we asked people who observed the Hanukkah holiday to let us know whether they were lighting the first candle on the first night, the second on the second night, the third night, so on until the eighth night.

As you can see, most people admitted to only lighting the candles on the first and last night.

A monthly exercise goal, a weekly exercise goal, even a daily exercise goal are easier because as the end is near, it is easier to stay motivated.

Another problem with middles is that you're going to experience setbacks, and when experiencing setbacks, it is natural to feel discouraged.

One wise solution is to remove your ego out of the picture.

When you remove your ego, it is easier to learn.

When I was helping my 10-year-old son win a video game, he awarded me the title a failure expert.

Because I don't mind getting killed by virtual monsters.

He doesn't mind seeing me getting beaten by virtual monsters.

At work, when you're not quite killing it, remove your ego, and you will be better able to learn.

Another solution is to seek discomfort, if only temporarily, instead of trying to avoid it.

When you seek discomfort temporarily, you realize that you can grow yourself, that discomfort is a sign of growth.

No pain, no gain is not just about the gym.

It's a general, wise motivation strategy.

Let me tell you about a study that we conducted with Chicago's beloved improvisation club, the Second City.

We worked with their training center, which is where regular people like you and me go to learn improvisation.

We were specifically interested in one exercise, give focus.

In this exercise, one person gets the center of stage, everybody else is frozen in place.

This person is moving around, everybody else is watching.

We invited some people to feel awkward and uncomfortable as they run through the exercise.

Others in the control group were invited to develop their skills.

Who was more daring, taking the stage for longer?

Subtitles ListPlay Video

How to set the right goals and stay motivated | Ayelet Fishbach | TED

strategy

situation

pursue

destination