Oh my god, yes.

We have so many.

Start the voice note.

Started.

Listen up, girly pops.

We all know the usual glow-up tips.

Exercise, sleep, makeup, skincare, water, microblading, clean eating, posture.

But so many other things are not talked about when it comes to looks max.

Like cut off toxic people.

Like your boyfriend.

Break up with him.

Stay away from things that raise your cortisol levels.

Like your boyfriend.

Be confident.

And if you don't have confidence, keep a success journal that chronicles your daily wins.

No matter how small.

Or even lessons from your failures.

Yes, what did you learn from dating your failure of an ex-boyfriend?

Ooh, also facial massage.

Like I thought this was total BS until I started doing it.

I gotta tell you, I see such a difference.

I'm someone who holds like a lot of water in my face because your girl loves sodium.

Hello, miso soup.

But lymphatic drainage massage?

Oh, transformed it, bestie.

Be child-free.

There's no bigger anti-aging tip than being childless.

And by child, I do mean your boyfriend.

Zing, red light therapy also really works.

The masks are a little pricey, but once you get them and you use them consistently, you'll glow.

Quit all depressants, alcohol, weed, drugs, and you guessed it, your boyfriend.

People hate nothing more than a happy woman.

So piss people off and be happy.

Girl, be selfish with your mental health, your sleep, your time, your energy, your peace.

Protect your peace at all costs.

Prioritize yourself.

You know, fill your own cup and then give people the overflow.

Don't participate in gossip.

Who needs tea?

I need an iced black coffee.

Also, I think the most beautiful people have done their inner work.

You know, shadow work, inner child work, healing old wounds.

So you can truly let go of the past and just, like, focus on the future that you're building.

Oh, you should read.

This world is a terrible place, so escape into your mind.

Look at a dead tree and hallucinate for hours.

Give yourself a mental vacation from corporate capitalism and get a hold of some fairy smut.

Ooh, fairy smut.

You deserve so much more than Justin Bestie.

You deserve a high fay who lords over the lands of stars in a glittering expanse of black.

You deserve the unsheathing of his massive manhood as long as the horizon.

You deserve— Oh, shit.

Wait, the voice notes stopped recording.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Okay, well, I'm not doing all of that again.

Yeah, no, I'll just tell her to Google it.

Okay, great.

But also tell her— Break up with her boyfriend.

Yeah, I know.

What?

No, Bestie.

I was gonna say tell her to balance acceptance versus self-improvement.

To trust in her own soul.

And that the quality that makes her the most beautiful is the energy and the light that she radiates.

Aw, that's really nice.

I'm like her boyfriend.

Zing.

That comment.

I'm coming for your girl.

Get in my belly.

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