For what?

I've decided I want to open a sushi restaurant.

What do you know about sushi?

I don't care about the sushi.

I just want to yell at customers when they walk in the door.

Irasshaimase!

Hajimemashite!

Here comes the black guy!

Peter, you're not getting money for that or anything else.

We're running seriously low on cash right now.

Like it or not, we're gonna have to start living on a strict budget for a while.

Our top story tonight, the Rhode Island State Lottery has climbed to a record $150 million jackpot.

That's right, Tom.

Powerball fever has officially gripped Quahog.

There you go, Lois. That's the answer right there.

We'll just win the lottery.

In fact, I'm gonna go buy my winning ticket right now.

Everyone, I got big news.

We are gonna be rich.

Oh, my God, Peter.

There are thousands of lottery tickets here.

Where did you get the money for all these?

Simple. I took out a second mortgage on a house.

What?

Peter, this is idiotic.

Your odds of winning are like 100 million to one.

Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on stupid people?

Peter, Brian's right.

How can you be so irresponsible?

You take these tickets back right now.

No way, Lois. We're gonna win.

Okay, this is it, you guys.

They're gonna announce the winning lottery numbers.

Time for the Griffin family to meet its destiny.

When we lose, I'm getting a divorce.

Understood.

E!

That's a three, honey. Turn it around.

This!

Thirty-one.

Spooky ghost mouth!

That's a zero.

Snowman!

Eight.

Two sailboats!

Forty-four.

Seventeen!

No, that's... Oh, yes, that is seventeen.

She's good at seventeen.

Well, folks, those are our winning numbers.

All right, kids, we got 200,000 lottery tickets.

We gotta check.

Oh, my God. We won!

What?

Let me see that.

Yes! We won the lottery!

This is awesome.

Now that we're rich, our lives are gonna be so much better.

You sure it was such a good idea to cash that lottery check?

It seems foolish to have all this money lying around.

Right, so how are we gonna spend our winnings?

We're not gonna go crazy spending our winnings, and we're not gonna let this money change us.

What are you talking about?

This money is our ticket to the good life.

Starting now.

I just bought a giant room full of gold coins, and I'm gonna dive into it like Scrooge McDuck.

Aah!

It's not a liquid!

It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface!

Aah!

Peter, what are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at work?

I quit my job, Lois.

You what?

Yeah, we're rich now. I don't need to be working.

Hey, I got one, Peter.

What would you rather do, tread water where you are right now, or increase your net worth fivefold within the next 18 months?

Huh?

What are you talking about?

Well, my friend Marty is a whiz with chemistry, and he says he's come up with a new penis enlargement pill, and if we can bankroll him $100,000 in startup money, he'll triple our investment in the year.

Well, uh, gee, I-I don't, uh...

Peter, I've taken the liberty of mocking up some sales projections.

Wow, that's pretty good.

And this would be our net profits.

Yeah, if you're gonna open your mouth with the missus, stick to kisses, eh?

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

What neat humor!

What neat humor!

Yeah, so what do you say, Peter?

Can you help us out?

Of course I can, you dope.

We're pals, right?

There you go.

Yeah, and I gotta work.

I'm flying a leg to Minneapolis tonight.

Oh.

Yeah, I-I understand.

You got other things to do.

I-I just wrote you guys a couple of checks.

But no, you-you do your things.

What?

No, I mean, I'm just saying.

I-I thought friends hang out, do things with each other.

You know, especially when one friend gives the other friends a whole bunch of money.

Oh, well, I guess I could stick around.

Yeah.

That's more like it.

From now on, we're all gonna do whatever I want to do, because I'm the one with the dough.

Okay, quagmire, I want you to take the first bite out of this fudge pop, because that first bite is the one that really hurts.

Well, okay.

Mm!

Ah!

Mm!

Ah!

Ow!

Ow!

Now, smear what's left of it on your face and look at me with your mouth open.

Look at yourself, you filthy whore.

I don't even want this now.

Look, you aren't gonna shoot us in the eye, are you, Peter?

Oh, no, Joe.

I wouldn't try to shoot you in the eye.

It's also not...

Ah!

Peter, it was really close to my eye!

Relax, Joe.

I'm nowhere near your eye.

Hey, Joe, open your eye.

Ah!

Gotcha.

You're a jerk.

Jerk?

What kind of a way is that to talk to your friend who gives you money?

Go to hell, Peter.

We don't need your money, and we don't need friends like you.

Fine, go on. I don't care.

I don't need you.

I got money.

You know, Peter, you used to be a great guy, but ever since you won that lottery...

Ah!

Ow!

Ah!

Come on, Joe.

F*** this guy.

I'm here to audition for Fiddler on the Roof.

Come right in.

I'm worried the money is changing this family and not the way you hoped.

Well, I was hoping it would make you shut up, so you're right.

You know, I spoke to Bonnie this morning, and she said you haven't talked to Joe or Quagmire in two weeks.

Who cares?

I don't need Quagmire, and I certainly don't need Joe.

I don't like what this money is doing to us.

Lois, don't you understand?

We don't got any of our old problems anymore.

We don't have to worry about paying bills.

We don't have to worry about saving dough.

All we got to do is enjoy ourselves.

Interested?

Ah!

Oh, my God!

Peter, it's beautiful.

Is it a blood diamond?

Ah, the bloodiest.

The two kids who found it were forced to murder each other.

Oh, Peter, I love it.

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

What, here?

Yeah, I had a giant mobile put in the sky so I can sleep wherever I want.

Oh, this is nice.

I hope that bear comes around soon.

That's sort of my favorite.

Oh, look, the bear!

Well, actually, sir, your card has been declined.

Oh, really?

Well, I'm sure a brief call to my accountant will resolve this to our mutual satisfaction.

Hello, Schnozenstein?

This is Peter Griffin.

There seems to be some issue with our credit.

I told Carstairs you'd set everything straight.

What do you mean I'm broke?

I can't believe it.

We lost everything.

What do we do now?

Well, seems like our only hope is the lottery.

Holy...

We won twice, and we're right back here again.

We had $150 million, and we blew through it in a month.

Peter, we can't live like this.

Well, what are we supposed to do, Lois?

Everything we had is gone.

We have friends, Peter.

Not anymore, we don't.

They're good people.

They'll listen, and they'll care what happens to us, even after everything that's happened.

Well, well, look who it is.

Look, you guys, I messed up bad.

Winning the lottery was the worst thing that ever happened to me and my family.

I thought being rich would solve all my problems, but all it did was make me forget what was important, like who my real friends are.

I don't expect you to forgive me, but if for some reason you do, you can find me in a cardboard box on the corner of Meeting and Fair.

Peter, wait.

That corner's a bit of a hike for me.

I'd rather just come see you at home.

What?

Where'd you get this kind of money?

The penis enlargement pill you gave me the startup money for.

It turned a pretty nice profit.