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You are already ahead of 90% of the people your age if you can just communicate competently.
只要你能勝任交流工作,你就已經領先於 90% 的同齡人。
It is statistically proven that the people who are better communicators, they get better job opportunities and make more money and they attract higher quality of the opposite sex.
統計證明,善於溝通的人,工作機會更多,收入更高,吸引的異性品質也更高。
And if you look at the people under the age of 25 nowadays, you will see that there is a supply and demand issue.
如果你看看現在 25 歲以下的人,就會發現存在供需問題。
There's a demand for good communicators, but there's not a lot of supply.
對優秀溝通者的需求很大,但供應卻不多。
And when there's not a lot of supply, you don't necessarily need to be the best.
在供應量不多的情況下,你不一定要做到最好。
You just need to be okay.
你只需要沒事就好。
So you'd be pretty dumb to click off this video because this video might just save the rest of your entire life.
所以,如果你點擊關閉這段視頻,那你就太蠢了,因為這段視頻可能會拯救你的餘生。
Being a good communicator is the equivalent of being a 6'3 handsome man nowadays in our generation.
在我們這一代人中,成為一個善於溝通的人就相當於成為一個身高 6 米 3 的帥哥。
So let me show you how.
讓我來教你怎麼做。
When I was 12 years old, I was in year six at the time,
我 12 歲那年,正在讀六年級、
I was the school captain of my primary school and I think maybe 30 or 40 kids because I was probably the best speaker there.
我是小學的校隊隊長,我想大概有 30 或 40 個孩子,因為我可能是那裡演講最好的。
I always try to encourage other people by telling them to never give up and to always try their best.
我總是試圖鼓勵其他人,告訴他們永遠不要放棄,永遠盡力而為。
And then three or four months later,
三四個月後
I started dating the other school captain who was a good speaker as well.
我開始和另一個學校的隊長約會,他也是一個很好的演講者。
Around five months into our lovey-dovey stage, we decided to go on like a Halloween trick or treating.
大約五個月後,我們進入了熱戀階段,我們決定像萬聖節搗蛋鬼一樣繼續下去。
And one of my friends came along with us two, there was three of us.
我的一個朋友和我們兩個一起來的,我們一共有三個人。
And I could tell that she was extremely attracted to my friend that she hadn't seen before.
我看得出,她對我這位從未見過的朋友非常著迷。
And when we decided to go home, my girlfriend went to her place and my friend came back to my place.
當我們決定回家時,我的女朋友去了她家,我的朋友回到了我家。
And my friend started to explain to me how he could tell that she was eyeing him.
我的朋友開始向我解釋,他是如何看出她在盯著他看的。
And that just confirmed my suspicions.
這正好證實了我的猜測。
So that was when I developed a lot of anxiety, a lot of jealousy.
就在那時,我產生了很多焦慮和嫉妒。
And this is where my insecurity started to come in.
我的不安全感就是從這裡開始的。
I started to look myself in the mirror every single day and think I was ugly, even though I wasn't.
我開始每天照鏡子,覺得自己很醜,儘管我並不醜。
And because I had built those insecurities, my communication skills suffered.
因為建立了這些不安全感,我的溝通能力也受到了影響。
Because, probably wondering why I have this picture up here.
因為,你可能想知道我為什麼把這張照片掛在這裡。
This pipe represents your inability to speak, okay?
這根管子代表你不能說話,明白嗎?
This, the tap, the quality of water represents the quality of your communication.
這個水龍頭,水的品質代表著你的溝通品質。
I had, because of my anxiety, developed gunk in this tap.
由於我的焦慮,這個水龍頭裡已經有了垃圾。
We don't want that.
我們不希望這樣。
Because you could be,
因為你可能是、
I was a very, very good communicator, but the blockage was holding me back from being a good communicator.
我是一個非常非常優秀的溝通者,但這個障礙阻礙了我成為一個優秀的溝通者。
You could be the best speaker out there, but if you have a lot of anxiety, a lot of embarrassment, a lot of, like a fear of judgment, you're not going to be able to express yourself clearly because it feels like there's a block in your throat.
你可能是最棒的演講者,但如果你有很多焦慮、很多尷尬、很多,比如害怕別人的評判,你就無法清楚地表達自己,因為你感覺喉嚨裡有塊石頭。
Feels like there's just something blocking you, okay?
感覺好像有什麼東西擋住了你,好嗎?
And the way you get rid of this is by just simply asking yourself where it comes from.
而擺脫這種情況的方法就是問問自己,它從何而來。
What's causing this gunk in the tap?
水龍頭裡的垃圾是什麼原因造成的?
What's causing it?
是什麼原因造成的?
Is it something to do with the start, where it's coming from, right?
是不是和起點有關,從哪裡來,對嗎?
How can you fix that?
如何解決這個問題?
It's all about getting to the root cause on why it's there in the first place.
一切都要從根本上解決為什麼會出現這種情況。
Why can't I express myself clearly?
為什麼我不能清楚地表達自己?
Why am I so scared of talking to that girl?
為什麼我這麼害怕和那個女孩說話?
Number one exercise you will do in order to improve your communication, okay?
為了改善你的溝通,你要做的第一個練習,好嗎?
Because this, the gunk, is holding you back.
因為這些垃圾阻礙了你的發展。
I'll leave a video at the end of this video on how I overcame my anxiety, okay?
我會在本視頻的最後留一段視頻,介紹我是如何克服焦慮的,好嗎?
Now, once this is limited, you're never going to be perfect, okay?
現在,一旦有了這個限制,你就永遠不會完美了,好嗎?
I get anxious all the time.
我總是很焦慮。
I get embarrassed all the time.
我經常感到尷尬。
I fear judgment quite a bit, but I just have less gunk than other people do, meaning I'm a better communicator compared to other people, meaning I get better opportunities.
我很害怕別人對我評頭論足,但我只是比別人有更少的垃圾,這意味著我比別人更善於溝通,也意味著我能獲得更好的機會。
People can sense the confidence, okay?
人們能感受到你的自信,好嗎?
How do we get better quality water?
如何獲得更優質的水源?
Which is your communication skills.
這就是你的溝通技巧。
I'm going to share with you four crucial things that aren't necessarily hard.
我將與你們分享四件至關重要的事情,它們並不一定很難。
They're very, very easy that you can do today to improve this water quality.
這些都是非常非常容易做到的,您今天就可以改善水質。
Number one, you must realize the intention creates your tension.
首先,你必須意識到是意圖造成了你的緊張。
The intention behind why you speak, okay?
你說話背後的意圖,好嗎?
I remember when I was in year seven.
我記得我上七年級的時候。
This is where my insecurities had developed quite a bit.
我的不安全感就是從這裡產生的。
I went up to talk to a pretty attractive girl on the bench at school.
我在學校的長椅上和一個漂亮迷人的女孩搭訕。
It was like my third or fourth day of school.
那好像是我上學的第三或第四天。
A lot of you guys know this story.
你們很多人都知道這個故事。
And I went in with the intention of talking to this girl to get validated by her.
我進去的目的是想和這個女孩交談,得到她的肯定。
I didn't really want to connect with her.
我並不想和她聯繫。
So there was an awkward silence five seconds in, and the conversation just ended off there.
就這樣,我們尷尬地沉默了五秒鐘,談話就這樣結束了。
If I had went in with the intention just to connect with this woman, not to attract her, just to connect with her, find out more about her.
如果我去的目的只是想和這個女人建立聯繫,不是為了吸引她,只是想和她建立聯繫,多瞭解她一些。
Trust me, it would have gone so much better.
相信我,情況會好得多。
Your intention creates the type of tension.
你的意圖創造了緊張的類型。
If you talk to a girl, you just do it to connect with her, not to necessarily attract her.
如果你和一個女孩哈拉,你只是為了和她建立聯繫,而不一定是為了吸引她。
You just be your best self.
做最好的自己
You spread love, you spread positivity.
你傳播愛,你傳播積極。
Trust me, that blockage is going to be reduced and your water is going to be higher quality.
相信我,堵塞現象會減少,水質也會提高。
This is easy, but not all of you would like it.
這很簡單,但並不是所有人都喜歡。
And the second one is to actually read more books.
第二是真正讀更多的書。
Now, the reason I say to read more books, two main reasons.
現在,我之所以說要多讀書,主要有兩個原因。
Number one, it increases your vocabulary.
第一,它能增加你的詞彙量。
Half of the words you probably hear me say that are kind of advanced, even though I don't really say many advanced words because I'm speaking to a younger audience, is from the books I've read.
你可能會聽到我說過一半的高級詞彙,儘管我說的高級詞彙並不多,因為我是在向年輕的聽眾說話,但這些詞彙都來自我讀過的書。
Each time I read, which is usually around 30 to 60 minutes per day,
我每次閱讀的時間,通常是每天 30 到 60 分鐘左右、
I will highlight one to two words that aren't too robotic, but I've heard them before and I want to start using more in public.
我會強調一到兩個不太生硬的詞,但我以前聽過,我想開始在公共場合多用。
If you just have a really, really simple vocabulary, it's very hard to be a really good communicator.
如果你只有非常非常簡單的詞彙,就很難成為一個真正優秀的溝通者。
There's like a cap to the quality of water you can be.
水的品質是有上限的。
So expand your vocabulary.
是以,請擴大你的詞彙量。
Now, second thing, when you're reading, you, most of the time, are mentally, trying to think of the word.
第二點,當你閱讀時,大部分時間你都是在腦子裡想這個詞。
Fuck, I meant to be a good communicator.
媽的,我的本意是要成為一個善於溝通的人。
Rehearsing what you're reading in your mind.
在腦海中排練所讀內容。
There are various studies to prove this.
有各種研究可以證明這一點。
I originally heard it from Andrew Huberman on reading and how it improves communication.
我最初是從安德魯-休伯曼(Andrew Huberman)關於閱讀和閱讀如何改善交流的演講中聽到這句話的。
So read more.
是以,請閱讀更多內容。
Specifically books that help your future self because you're gaining knowledge and becoming a better communicator.
特別是對未來的自己有幫助的書籍,因為你可以從中獲得知識,成為更好的溝通者。
It is literally a cheat code.
這簡直就是一個作弊碼。
Third thing, it kind of goes to eliminating the guck out of your pipe and that is improving your looks and improving just your overall appearance.
第三件事是消除菸斗中的異味,這就是改善你的外觀,提高你的整體形象。
Now, I'm not one of those black pill motherfuckers, looks max type of dudes, yeah?
我不是那種吃了黑藥丸的混蛋,也不是那種貌美如花的人,對吧?
I'm only saying this because when you feel confident, you express how you feel.
我之所以這麼說,是因為當你感到自信時,你就會表達自己的感受。
Get some nice clothes that actually fit you.
買一些真正合身的漂亮衣服。
Me, I wear Kmart clothes.
我穿的是 Kmart 的衣服。
I don't wear nothing special, but I wear clothes that fit me.
我不穿什麼特別的衣服,但我穿適合自己的衣服。
Get yourself a haircut, start getting better sleep, look after your skin, start eating a clean diet.
理髮、改善睡眠、保養皮膚、飲食清淡。
These really simple things that will improve your looks and improve how you feel so you naturally feel more confident.
這些非常簡單的事情就能改善你的容貌,改善你的感覺,讓你自然而然地更加自信。
Now, the fourth thing that has improved my communication skills,
現在,第四件事提高了我的溝通技巧、
I'd say probably the most because I do it so much, is speaking on camera.
我想說的最多的可能是在鏡頭前講話,因為我經常這樣做。
I will play a snippet of me three years ago with my first ever YouTube video.
我將播放三年前我在 YouTube 上的第一個視頻片段。
Hello everyone, welcome back to another video.
大家好,歡迎再次觀看視頻。
Today's video, I'm not gonna be bringing you a workout video, but instead,
今天的視頻不是健身視頻,而是
I'm gonna be giving you five tips how to get abs in four weeks.
我將告訴你如何在四周內練出腹肌的五個小竅門。
Now, four weeks might sound like a short time, but it really isn't.
現在,四周聽起來似乎很短,但實際上並不短。
But if you look like this, then you can maybe add a zero on top of that four because there's definitely nutritional issues going on.
但如果你看起來像這樣,那麼你也許可以在 4 的基礎上再加一個零,因為你肯定有營養問題。
Can you sense a difference?
你能感覺到不同嗎?
My tone is so much better, my confidence is so much better simply because I have practiced.
我的音色好多了,我的自信心也好多了,這都是因為我練習的結果。
So, if you want to jump straight in, go out there and practice in public.
所以,如果你想直接跳槽,就出去公開練習吧。
A lot of you don't really wanna do that, maybe don't have time to do that with school and everything.
你們中的很多人並不是真的想這樣做,也許因為學業和其他原因沒有時間這樣做。
10 minutes per day, five minutes per day, sit in the chair and just yap to the camera.
每天 10 分鐘,每天 5 分鐘,坐在椅子上對著鏡頭嘰嘰喳喳。
Documents your life.
記錄你的生活
Use it as a journal, right?
把它當作日記,對嗎?
You're making your life into a movie?
你要把自己的生活拍成電影?
Post it on YouTube, private your videos, but you're also improving your communication.
在 YouTube 上發佈、私人化你的視頻,但你也在改善你的溝通。
That's it from me and I'll catch you in the next one.
我就說這麼多,下期再見。
Thanks.
謝謝。