I'm prettysureshethoughtifshehas a noaccentand a bittybittywhitename, maybenoonewillknow.
That's whymynameisPauline, exceptwhenmymomsaysit, itcomesoutlike a Pauline.
Peoplethat's howwhiteshewantedmetobe, shegaveme a nameshecouldn't evenpronounce.
That's why I comparemyselfto a Toyota, right, lookslikeit's fromAsia, actuallymadeinAmerica.
There's otherways I think I'm likeyourtypicalAsiancar, I'm dependable, affordable, andunlike a Volkswagen, I canpassanytestyougivemewithoutcheating.
I'vealsogot a pairoffaultyairbagsthatrefusetoinflate.
Guys, thisiskindofembarrassing, I recentlyhadanaccident.
Shejustturnedtwo.
I didn't knowthis, apparentlywhathappensinVegascomesoutyourvagina.
I wastolditstaysthere.
I hadtobringithome.
I don't thinkitwasmyfaultthoughthat I had a kidoutofwedlock, it's notmyfault, right, when I wentonCraigslist, I wasn't lookingfor a babydaddy, I wasjustlookingforsomefreefurniture.
Hecompletelymisunderstoodwhen I toldhim I'm lookingforonenightstand.
Ladies, letmetellyou, have a babywhenyouareyoungbecauseitistoughbeinganadult.
Youknow, youknow.
Itistough, but I'm a goodmom, I reallyambecause I'm smart, I'm smart, likeokaymydaughter, shejustturnedtwoanditwasherbirthday, shesaidshewantedtogoto I usedmybrainpeople, okay, I tookhertoChuck E.
CheeseandjusttoldheritwasDisneyland.
She's two, shedoesn't knowthedifference, right, I meanshestartedtogetsuspiciouswhenshesawChuck E.