Perhaps you should begin by examining why you live a life at all.

Shut up, philosophy.

Now, can someone give me a real answer?

It's the 21st century, dude.

You need to learn how to code.

Can't AI do that now?

Well, who do you think is going to code the AI?

Probably another AI.

Oh, yeah, you're probably right.

I guess, I don't know why I exist.

I want to major in something fun, but there's so many options.

With me, you can study bugs.

Right, a lot of other options besides that one.

If you want something fun and employable, look no further.

Oh, I love astronomy.

I'm a Sagittarius.

Have a nice day.

I should probably pick something that'll set me up for a job.

Well, I can help you.

Okay, well, joke's on you guys, because my parents are rich.

Yeah, okay, he wins.

I also want to find a major where I can make new friends.

I got some friends for y'all.

118 of them, to be exact.

They're called the Periodic Table of Elements, and they'll always be there for you.

That sounds miserable.

It is.

Breaking news, local man is not smart enough for any of these majors.

Hey, let me put it this way.

You plus me equals some long nights together.

Okay, but I will admit,

I am not smart enough to study math.

Gotcha.

Shut up, journalism.

Why don't you go get a job at a newspaper?

All right, they're all going out of business.

Why not study the human mind?

I don't think I'm really into-

Because your father was demanding and your mother was emotionally unavailable?

No.

Actually, maybe you're right.

I know you better than you know yourself.

Also, you said you were a Sagittarius, so I just went from there.

No!

All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.

Is that your pitch?

No, my pitch is that if I don't get enough students this semester, the university's gonna cut me.

Oh, no.

Good luck with that.

Thanks.

If you go with me, you probably won't be able to find a job, but at least you'll understand why you are poor.

And if you go with me, you'll understand that the fall of the Roman Empire was a very gradual process that cannot be tied to any specific date or event.

And you'll be poor.

Can someone give me a serious answer?

I am getting desperate here.

Why should I just tell you when my art speaks for itself?

I'm not that desperate.

You sure?

Art feeds the soul.

Though ironically, it doesn't seem to feed artists very well.

No, time is almost up.

I'm freaking out.

The stakes are so high in this situation.

Don't worry.

I got you.

Who are you?

I'm the major for people like you with commitment issues, because really I'm not a major at all.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Submit!

Uh-oh.

What?

It appears I selected the major on the list right above you by accident.

Oh, oh crap.

What's, what did you pick?

Equine studies.

Huh?

Giddy up.

♪ Strangers come to town ♪ ♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪