Kids grow up in that game.

They end up more familiar with the Minecraft world than their own household.

Like, this boogeyman doesn't exist anymore, now it's Herobrine.

Or maybe even that's outdated, I don't know.

The only thing I know for sure is Herobrine is real.

I watched it slit the throat of my grandfather to squeeze out the diamonds from his cold corpse.

Point is, Minecraft is huge.

So it was only a matter of time before a live-action movie was made to capitalize on the success of the property.

And rejoice, because that time is now.

The Minecraft movie trailer just dropped.

And the reception has been lukewarm at best.

In fact, I'm being pretty generous by calling it lukewarm.

There was about as much cheering for this as there was when I hit my last free throw in my high school basketball career.

And it was really only my parents clapping because we got blown out in that final game.

Ever since the film was announced as a live-action movie, people were quick to write it off just saying things like, there's no way they'll be able to make that watchable, it'll probably just be garbage.

And now that the teaser's dropped, that's confirmed a lot of people's suspicions that, yep, this is gonna be turbo-ass.

Jack Black as Steve is the biggest one people are pointing the finger at here.

So, Jack Black plays Steve.

For those of you that don't know Minecraft, which is zero people watching, I'll still just show you anyway, this is Steve.

He's basically just playing Jack Black, but in a blue shirt.

It looks like he rolled out of bed and they gave him this blue shirt and said, alright, now you're Steve.

As if it's Captain America's shield or something.

It's pretty low effort from the costume department here that people were making fun of.

It'd be like if they made a live-action Simpsons movie and I was cast as Homer and this was my costume.

Because Homer also wears a white shirt.

Like, fucking porn parodies put more work into the costuming.

Like, Spongenob Square Nuts.

They had a whole getup for him that you could immediately identify as, oh, that's supposed to be SpongeBob.

Here, if he didn't say, I am Steve, I would have had no fucking clue, personally.

Just like I have no clue who Jason Momoa is supposed to be here, he looks like a character I would have made and dressed to impress on Roblox, just combining random shit onto the character.

He looks like someone in the Witness Protection Program who's going undercover to see a Credence Clearwater revival concert.

But at the very least, that's fun.

Like, Jason Momoa just being like a, you know, quirky, zany-looking character here in the trailer?

Like, that's interesting.

Jack Black as Steve is just...

Man, you didn't even really try.

Like, Jack Black is a huge draw.

Most people really like Jack Black, and he's been in a lot of huge movies recently.

If I could, I'd ask the Men in Black to neuralize the knowledge of Borderlands out of my fucking craniums, that way I don't have to remember that Jack Black was in that atrocity.

But he's been in some great films, and it looks like he's the go-to now for these studio execs to pick up for children's movies.

And based off this teaser, this is very clearly aimed at kids.

This is made for toddlers.

I'm talking, like, actual milk-drinking, fucking snot-nosed, diaper-soiling children.

This isn't like the Super Mario Bros. movie, where pretty much anyone of all ages can appreciate that film.

This one really seems, at least based on this very first glimpse, that it is entirely made for kids that love Minecraft.

Not anyone who loves Minecraft.

The style of the film is just also kind of off-putting.

Danny summed it up best by saying it looks like a Honda commercial.

It also just kind of reminds me of something Clash of Clans would have posted on their YouTube channel as, like, a Facebook ad or something.

The animation style is not revolting or anything, except for this stupid fucking thing.

But the integration of live-action into it just is not done super well in this teaser.

It really looks kind of haphazardly thrown together.

Like, the live-action characters just don't blend with the animation as well as I would have thought it would.

This movie would have been significantly better if it was just fully animated, instead of trying to shoehorn and ham-fist in, like, Jack Black and Jason Momoa just for the sake of having big-name star power draw to it.

Like, they could have voiced in it.

You know, like, I don't know why they didn't take a page out of the Super Mario Bros. playbook, which was very positively received, absolutely crushed it in the box office, and for some reason, Minecraft completely ignores that, comes out here and shits their whole ass with this teaser, which is not being positively received.

If it was fully animated, I think it would have stood a far better chance.

Ultimately, though, I don't think it's going to matter to the main demographic the movie is trying to appeal to, which is kids.

They're not going to care.

Kids will just endlessly let videos autoplay, rotting their goddamn brains, just watching, like, Finger Family or whatever else just happens to scroll through.

They're not going to be bothered by things like the live-action and animation don't work together super well.

But just because I'm not the target audience for this movie doesn't mean I can't insult it and point out its shortcomings.

What are they going to do, have the Enderman come fuck me?

This just isn't great-looking, and a lot of people aren't very happy with it, especially because apparently it's been 10 years in the making.

Like, they started scripting this back in 2014 from what I read.

What a weird use of 10 years.

What it seems to me, and I could be totally wrong here, I got the tinfoil hat on for this, is they may have had, like, a bunch of different scripts over the course of the decade, and then they started seeing video game movies succeed, like Sonic, like Detective Pikachu, like Super Mario Bros.

And then they just started to rush, like, Okay, we need to capitalize on this ASAP.

It's hot right now.

We have to strike while the iron is hot.

We gotta go!

And then they push this out.

At least that's the impression I get here.

Who knows, though?

Maybe this was the original vision from the start.

All the way back in 2014, they said, We need Jablinski games in here.

Playing Steve.

Regardless, though, right now it's only one teaser, so maybe the next one comes out and it's great.

It blows us all away.

You know, maybe the movie comes out and it's extraordinary.

But I doubt it.

And many others are doubting it as well.

That's about it.

See ya.