As much as 20% of us are highly sensitive, I'm a psychologist and I'll talk you through the signs of a highly sensitive person, what that really means for your everyday life and what you can do about it.

If you don't know me my name is Dr Julie and I share tips and tools from therapy and psychology research so that you can use them to make your life better.

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So let's get straight into it, what are the signs of a highly sensitive person and what does that really mean?

A highly sensitive person is someone who seems to be aware of subtleties in their environment that other people don't pick up on.

They feel deeply affected by the moods of other people around them and in a noisy or crowded or busy environment they might feel the need to withdraw and get some relief from that stimulation.

They might feel deeply moved by art or music, they might feel rattled when they do a lot in a short amount of time.

When other people are uncomfortable in a physical environment they tend to be in tune with that and often know what needs to be done to make them feel comfortable again, so turning down music or lights etc.

A highly sensitive person will also tend to be deeply affected by violent movies or the distress of other people because they take it on board and spend a lot of time processing it which is really highly distressing.

They might also make it a As a child they were probably seen by parents and teachers as sensitive or shy, so if all of those things resonate for you what does that really mean?

Well it's important to start with this is not a disorder, it's basically a neutral trait that occurs in about 15 to 20 percent of the population where the nervous system is more sensitive than it is for others.

Here are the main three aspects of what it means to be a highly sensitive person.

Number one is depth of processing.

This means you take in information and process it for a long time.

That can be great for building on ideas over a long period but it can also mean that you become overstimulated, so after spending the day with friends you don't want to join them in a busy restaurant, you need to retreat and replenish from the day.

Number two is emotional responsiveness and I guess empathy being the emotional responsiveness to other people.

So emotion is necessary to process anything deeply, it's what motivates us and drives us but being able to tap into other people and what they're feeling at a deeper level is a huge strength, especially if you do anything creative or work with people or if you're a therapist, but it doesn't come without its vulnerabilities.

So if those people that you're connecting with so deeply are in huge amounts of pain or distress that's also going to cause you that distress.

Number three is sensitivity to subtle stimuli.

So you might notice small details that other people don't and that's a wonderful thing when those details are things that make life beautiful and you can appreciate them and enjoy them but processing all that extra information means that you need to completely rest from the world.

So you might love doing this one thing that other people see as mundane or boring but it's your way of replenishing and switching off from that noise.

So you might love cleaning or watering your garden or something with no tv or music or anything to bombard you with stimulation.

Now all this has its advantages, you might be aware of subtleties in your surroundings and pick up on things that others don't but it's also a disadvantage when you're bombarded with different sights and sounds, you might get overwhelmed and exhausted more easily than all the people that you're with so you might need to take time out to recuperate which is fine if those around you recognize that need but in a society that's become really fast paced and complex and productivity seems to be a real focus it probably has a major impact on you.

The disadvantages tend to show up in those societies like ours that seem to value different types of traits so you might get well-meaning teachers or parents who might see that sensitivity as a weakness or something that you should try and overcome but in an confidence if you're a highly sensitive person.

Now some people think isn't this just the same as being an introvert and the answer is no it's not the same as introversion so the research shows around 30% of highly sensitive people are extroverts they just need more downtime in between those highly stimulating environments and it's distinct from autistic spectrum disorders as well so even though many people on the spectrum tend to share this trait ASD has a specific set of Elaine Aron is a clinical research psychologist who has pioneered this research over the last 30 years or so and covers some of it in this great book that I would recommend The Highly Sensitive Person so I'll talk you through some of the things that she mentions in the book.

Number one is self-knowledge this is about understanding in depth what it means to be a highly sensitive person and how that trait is just one among many other traits that you have it's about recognizing that this is a trait not a flaw just because other people in your life may have suggested that you shouldn't be so sensitive or so shy it's about starting to see how sensitivity can be a strength how you can use it to your advantage and look after yourself in the types of situations that make it a disadvantage.

Number two is reframing this means acknowledging that the traits always been there but starting to frame it as something neutral not some sort of weakness or problem to be solved for example when there have been times that you felt not enough or weak in some way because of that trait it's not because you're inherently wrong it's because there's some sort of mismatch between the demands of the world around you and that trait especially if you live in a society that promotes relentless productivity or overstimulating environments so when you catch yourself thinking in a way that suggests there is something wrong with you reframe it as a neutral trait and that's going to help you with your own self-esteem and your self-confidence and your ability to be self-compassionate.

Number three is healing if you were sensitive as a child and nobody around you understood that then it's possible that different problems and events may have affected you more than others if that is true then working through that stuff at your own pace with a well-qualified therapist can be life-changing for some people.

Number four is finding a balance between being out in the world and when you lean back so that you can recover.

The world needs highly sensitive people to take part so find ways to prioritize good quality rest and recovery without going too far and hiding away from the world.

There are some really helpful exercises and activities that you can work through in this book actually and I also have some videos on meditation practices on my youtube channel so if you're looking to try meditation as part of helping you to re-energize more effectively then you can check those out.

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Thanks for watching!