I love you, bro!

That's my boy right there!

All right!

Give it up for the best man!

But we did say, no boring speeches, no shade.

Anyway, turning the attention to my beautiful sister, the bride, Kelsey!

Same mom, different dads, love you, girl!

I would like to invite up Kelsey's bridesmaids, aka the Kel Squad!

Okay, so instead of a speech, we're going to do something different for y'all, because we're a little bit creative and a little bit quirky.

And we know we're not Matt's favorite, because every time Kelsey's with us, she low-key blacks out.

Nah, come on, I love y'all.

But Kelsey loves her espresso martinis, so we wrote a special song about our bachelorette trip.

They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

But we didn't go to Vegas, we went to Charleston.

Hit it!

The bridesmaids wanted a celebration, so we took a trip, bachelorette vacation.

Cause we know she needs one, a break from Matthew.

Just kidding, Matt, we're glad she has you.

We're out, the shots are flowing, yeah.

Guys on the dance floor grooving, yeah.

We say no thanks, she's taken, yeah.

Sing it!

Now she's with a hot guy, but he looks gay.

Her name's Domingo.

Second location, maybe he's bi, still dancing with Domingo.

Third location, fully straight, fully touching Domingo.

I can't wait to be his wife, she's pointing to Domingo.

So, quick question, who's Domingo?

Oh, just this random guy we met, I told you about him.

I'm positive you did not.

In the bathroom, we take her outside.

She says don't worry, we won't cross the line.

Think of your fiance, she says good reminder.

Hands me her ring, then we can't find her.

You took off your ring, is this true?

Well, I just didn't want to lose it in the hot tub.

What hot tub?

Now we're back in the house, in the hot tub.

She's there with Domingo.

Ask him to leave, get a hotel, she's vibing with Domingo.

You asked him to leave and get a hotel?

You're missing it.

At the Marriott, googling Domingo.

Just to make sure he's not psycho.

But he's actually a doctor, and randomly a model.

And he volunteers with weird sick animals.

Is the point of this song just that Kelsey cheated on me all weekend?

No, the point is it's espresso.

You're not even listening to the lyrics.

That's all I'm listening to.

The next day, she said nothing happened.

They talked all night about you, Matthew.

The man at brunch, she just starts crying.

We ask her why, she says I'm just so tired.

We say take a nap, she says I'm not that kind of tired.

Okay, I need answers now about you and whoever this Domingo guy is.

And not for nothing, but the rhyme scheme has gone completely out the window.

Look, I'm sorry I met someone I connected with, but Domingo is in the past.

Kelsey, I'm here.

See now, if this is Domingo, I'm gonna be pissed.

Hey Matt, came all this way, had to explain, direct from Domingo.

Kelsey's a friend, she's like my sis, but we did hook up though.

What? Why would you guys tell me this through song?

I hope we can still be friends.

We'll be right back.