Sad?

No, no, no.

We've known each other 35 years.

No, I'm sad because I should give you more.

I should give you more.

No, that's good.

I like that.

I like that.

Because we're very good friends, and I passed your house again maybe two days ago, screaming out Conan.

You always yell, I tell people this.

It's a thing people don't, no one in LA, everyone lives near each other, but no one, everyone lives behind a hedge.

Yes.

And everyone's real cool about where everyone else lives.

And one of my favorite things is this man, when he's outside your house, he'll go, Cody!

Yeah.

Cody!

I do, and my kids wait for me to say it now.

They just go, all right, he's going to do his thing.

I, Conan!

Conan!

And then they go back to telling me something of their life.

And then the times that you've come over, when you come over to my house, the first thing you say is, I got to go.

No one wants me here.

I'm like, no, people are very happy to see you.

Everyone's happy to see you.

The party was great.

It was nice.

The Christmas bash.

We had a good time.

Perfecto.

Yeah.

I saw your son is a big boy now.

Yeah, he grew fast.

I can't believe it.

It all happened.

My son grew over COVID.

Is that what happened?

And he went, when COVID started, he was this little boy.

And then a year later, it was time for him to go back to school.

And I remembered him.

I dropped him off for the first day back in in-person school.

And he got out of the car and stood up.

And all the teachers were there.

And he kept going and going and going.

And they were all like, what the hell?

Like he had been irradiated with plutonium.

He just got super tall.

Yeah.

What a nice guy, though.

He's nice.

Sweet as hell.

He did good.

Doesn't love his old man.

That's for sure.

No, no.

He's running away.

He's running away from that.

Oh, man.

I wish you had been here for, because a good friend of yours was on this podcast, Jim Downey.

Oh, man.

And he did one of the funniest openings ever.

He did this opening where he said, you know, hi, I'm Jim Downey.

This is the former head writer on Saturday Night Live.

All our favorite.

Everybody.

We put him as the number one.

He's the number one.

He's the king.

He's the king.

He's the funniest, crazy genius writer.

And Jim Downey's opening was, hi, I'm Jim Downey.

And I'm defiantly proud to be Conan O'Brien.

And then he wanted this long thing about, like, I know people talk about Conan and there's the rumors and stuff, but people say bad stuff about Jeffrey Epstein.

And I swear to God, so many people come up to you on the street with this opening.

I was in Ireland.

And people were like, oh, that Jim Downey opening was, you know, that was.

And so he said, I mean, they say bad things about Jeffrey Epstein.

And I say, wait a minute.

Well, no, Jeffrey.

And he said, and nothing bad happened to Jeff Epstein.

And I said, no, no, no.

He went to prison and then he killed himself.

And he goes, Jeff Epstein?

He said, no, not.

He said, I'm talking about the New York financier.

Jeff Epstein, man.

Anyway, you know, we can straighten this out.

What's called Ghislaine?

And you're like, Jesus, this is so dark.

Now, but you were, when I was on the show, I was young.

Yeah, I was there when you came in.

We started.

We were together.

But you were already established as being great.

But when I got, I was young and excited.

And when Downey gave you a joke for one of your skits, for me, I was like, oh my God,

Downey gave me gold.

Were you like that too with Downey?

Yeah.

When he gave you something?

If you could get his attention.

Yes.

Because he liked to stay in his office with the door shut.

Yeah.

And we'd all wait for him.

Yes.

And Schneider was the most aggressive.

Remember when Schneider came on and he would, he would figure out a way to get into Downey's office and then get help on one of his sketches.

Oh, the copy, making copy.

Oh, the stingerino, you know?

And he would get, he would get some help from him and he always figured out a way to get in there.

I don't know if it was because he's small or what, but he like went in through the keyhole.

But we were always mad.

Like, God damn it.

How did Schneider get in there?

How did he get in there?

They got good.

And then the door would open and Downey would come out and I'd go, oh, hey, Jim.

So I had this idea.

And he'd be like, walk with me, Coney.

Walk with me.

Oh, yeah.

And walk with me meant follow him to the bathroom.

He'd use the urinal and I'd stand next to him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'd be like, yeah, so anyway, it's a, it's a caveman and he finds a time machine and uh-huh, uh-huh, you know, flush, washing the hands.

Right, right.

And anyway, and he'd be like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yep.

Yep.

Maybe, maybe.

Then door shut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ha, caveman.

Where are we ordering in from?

Yeah, no.

But I think back to those, I think back on those days a lot with a lot of, a lot of fondness because.

Yeah.

You came in and it's all these years later and you've conquered the world 75 times over.

What I remember is you were such, you were the most enthusiastic person.

Back then, yes.

You were so enthusiastic and your attitude was, this is, we are, we're at Saturday Night

Live.

Yeah.

This is amazing.

Let's get milkshakes.

Oh, yeah.

You loved milkshakes.

Yes, yes.

And then they'd bring food in.

They'd pay for them.

You couldn't believe it.

Yeah.

It's like.

You're, everything was so wondrous to you.

You know what I mean?

Yes, yes.

And now it's like, okay, the Netflix jet is here, whatever.

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a time when you're young.

Yeah, yeah.

I was only that young once.

And I had the same thing too, which is, wait a minute.

They'd be like, yo, and here's where the snacks are.

Well, how do I pay for them?

Oh, you don't pay for them.

Oh, man.

You can have those Oreos.

What are you talking about?

I can have Oreos.

That's so funny.

I can have as many as I want and it's because you're 23.

Yeah.

Or I don't know how old you were.

I was 23, yeah.

Were you 23 when you got on that show?

I think I was 20.

I went out to LA when I was 22.

I think I would have been 24 when I got started.

That was a good, that was just.

And also, that was the era of kind of nervous, meek Chris Rock.

Oh, yeah.

Because he wasn't getting sketches on.

He'd come by and go like, what are you guys thinking about?

Man.

And we'd be like, oh.

He was just, he wasn't that Chris Rock yet, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

And he was.

He became Chris Rock after he left.

Yeah.

After he left the show.

Then he became, I'd call him up and I'd say, what are you doing?

He'd be like, I'm working on my standup.

Working on my standup.

And I was like, oh.

He's like, I think I'm going to do a special.

And man, when that special came out, that was, we were all like, oh man.

He just whooped everybody.

Yeah.

And then it was so funny because you, I have this memory of, it's like high school of when the day people first showed up.

So, I remember you showing up.

You were very excited and very confident and happy.

And just joy was just coming off of you, which was really fun to be around.

I think Spade was nervous.

Schneider was like, I'm going to figure this out.

Oh, Downey's the key.

All right.

I'll get it.

He stayed up late though.

I remember Schneider used to always say to David about, you know, we're here all Tuesday night.

Try to stick, try to stick around, you know, in Spade.

Around 11, you'd see Spade like, my neck hurts, man.

I'm going home.

But we did stay late.

We stayed late.

You always stayed late.

I would sleep there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We had the best.

Those mornings when you'd wake up nuts and your stomach hurt from a whole night of being, no sleep, but it was, and then read through was around three o'clock or four o'clock or something.

You were so off.

Your brain was spinning around, but you were so excited.

Because you'd been up.

We'd stay up.

We'd get in early on a Tuesday.

I'd come in Tuesday.

I'd stay up all Tuesday night into Wednesday.

You were there late Wednesday night until your sketch got picked.

And then you have to stick around and say, okay, well, this is what the place, this is how I pictured it looking.

This is what the costumes, you had to talk to everybody.

That's right.

And then you'd get home kind of late on Wednesday night and you hadn't slept in 40 something hours.

And like an idiot, when you're that young, you think this is cool.

This is really like, I'm like a fighter pilot.

That's true.

Because I was, I was so in, I was so wanted to be, I want to be the fastest gun.

I want to be on the edge.

I didn't sleep for two days.

I mean, I did these, these two women who are my roommates in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, Lynette and Anya.

And I'd come in and I'd almost like bragging, like I haven't slept in 52 hours.

And they'd be like, oh my, you should just go to bed.

You know, my stool is a white gel.

Like, like I think this is cool.

And then it's just, and then I realized later on, you don't do good work when you haven't slept.

Yeah, that's true.

Terrible.

I mean, we were, we were just, and then making sure that they typed it up.

Right.

Remember?