I sat down one summer and I researched the laws of attraction and just looked at whether I could explain them through cognitive science, which is psychology and neuroscience, and I could.

And the first stage for me was understanding that it is absolutely to do with the way that you think, but then it's not magically like attracting something in the atmosphere, it's to do with the changes that you make based on your thought process.

I do believe in vision boards, but I call them action boards because I see them as a But I still have to go out there and make those things happen.

I think it's also much more empowering to believe that it's your brain that's making that stuff happen and not some external force that you're not really sure what it is.

So how would I manifest something into my life?

Say I want to manifest a great relationship.

Say I was single and I wanted to manifest the perfect partner.

How would I manifest the perfect partner into my life?

I think the preferred method is to create a list of the attributes that you want in that person, but you have to make sure that you are everything that is on that list.

I've never heard anyone say that, but that is so important because I know so many people who would write a list that they couldn't meet themselves in terms of fundamental values.

They probably want their partner to be disciplined, to care about their health, to be honest.

And if they ask themselves, are they those things, they'd probably fail at that.

Why is that important?

I think that you hear a lot of people saying, this is what I really want in someone, but you never really hear people saying, I've really worked on myself and this is what I believe I have to offer.

Psychologically, you meet people at the level of psychological evolution that you're at, but equally on the flip side of the coin, you meet people at the level of psychological wound that you have.

To be in a balanced relationship with someone that's really great, you've got to be bringing something to the party.

I mean, no one's going to go out with you if they're really amazing and you're a drag.

When I was at optimal drag in my life, when I was the most a drag in my life, I attracted drag people, but I wanted amazing people and I could never get them.

But I feel like with you, that was part of your journey of knowing that you could become an amazing person.

I believed I could.

Yeah, exactly.

So you got an amazing person once you did the work that took you out of dragsville.

Amen.

So make sure you are the things on that list because we'll rise to the level of our values and we'll fall to the level of our wounds.

Yeah, I love the way you put that, but also that what you have to offer in a relationship is just as important as what you want out of it.

And I don't know, as a society, we just don't really seem to think about it like that.

There's actually a note in my diary where I wrote, people who focus on what they want don't typically get what they want.

People who focus on what they have to offer typically get what they want.